I don't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

i've survived far worse. i've also died to far less though so who knows

you have to understand. There are several things wrong with me

true alcoholism has not been attempted yet

true alcoholism has not been attempted yet

true alcoholism has not been attempted yet

true alcoholism has not been attempted yet

true alcoholism has not been attempted yet

whatever. *whittles you into a small wooden spoon*

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny