horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

u ever think about how some mental health disorders literally have criminal activity as a criteria…like not even pretending just straight up “if you don’t follow the laws of the state you’re insane” hmmm wonder why that might be

quicksaves in front of you and doesnt even do anything its just to make you nervous

quicksaves in front of you 8 times and you think in trying to make you nervous but its because i forgot whether i saved or not 8 times in a row

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

when a cartoon character has a little nutsack or dick visible at all times it might raise some eyebrows but is ultimately seen as funny & acceptable. on the other hand you couldn't make Crazy Frog with a cunt. one of society's great inequalities

you’re just jealous my blood is all over the floor and yours is stuck inside your body

it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break

depressed at 11 was crazy i should have become a child prodigy

was i normal / forgivable / worth saving at the party last night? be honest haha 😂 🙈

It's important to note that Chekhov's Gun was not originally about foreshadowing, but a piece of advice to playwrights about how every element in a play should have narrative relevance. The corollary to Chekhov's Gun is that if a gun mounted on the wall in act 1 is never used at all in the entirety of the play, then it should be omitted from the play entirely.

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game