Miscellany

“Why, I went to Tarth and saw her. I had six years on her, yet the wench could look me in the eye. She was a sow in silk, though most sows have bigger tears. When she tried to talk she almost choked on her own tongue. I gave her a rose and told her it was all that she would ever have from me.” Connington glanced into the pit. “The bear has less hair than that freak, I’ll—“

Jaime’s golden had cracked him across the mouth so hard the other knight went stumbling down the steps. His lantern fell and smashed, and oil spread out, burning.

“You are speaking of a highborn lady, ser. Call her by her name. Call her Brienne.”

And then:

Next chapter, he’s no longer allowed near the lads 😬

@chickren Jaime wanted to send him off to Essos but that would be too much 😔

ya many.

‘The wench looked as ugly and awkward as ever, he decided when Tyrell left them. Someone had dressed her in woman's clothes again’ - JAIME IX, ASOS

that person was jaime, who sent the seamstress

‘Stupid stubborn brave bitch. She was going to get herself good and killed, he knew it. And what do I care if she does? If she hadn't been so pigheaded, I'd still have a hand. Yet he heard himself whisper, "Let them do it, and go away inside."’ - JAIME IV, ASOS

fake dgafer

‘Jaime had decided that he would return Sansa, and the younger girl as well if she could be found. It was not like to win him back his lost honor, but the notion of keeping faith when they all expected betrayal amused him more than he could say.’ - JAIME III, ASOS

so does anyone think jaime just sent Brienne after Sansa for a laugh

‘The news irritated him, though he supposed he should have seen it coming. The lie spared you awhile, wench. Be grateful for that much. "If her maidenhead's as hard as the rest of her, the goat will break his cock off trying to get in," he jested. Brienne was tough enough to survive a few rapes, Jaime judged, though if she resisted too vigorously Vargo Hoat might start lopping off her hands and feet. And if he does, why should I care? I might still have a hand if she had let me have my cousin's sword without getting stupid.’ JAIME VI, ASOS

fake dgafer deluxe

How can such a night be beautiful? he asked himself. Why would the stars want to look down on such as me?

emo hours

“You’re hard enough to look at with a nose. Besides, I wanted to make the goat say ‘thapphireth.’” He chuckled.

no sincerity allowed❌

“There once was a lion who danced with a bear, oh my, oh my…”

foreshadowing you-know-what!!

Jaime had only enough time to exchange a quick look with Brienne before they were marched away, separately.

enemies to unwitting allies like hello

“There will be pain.”

“I’ll scream.”

“A great deal of pain.”

“I’ll scream very loudly.”

the only vow he’s ever honored is his commitment to the bit

“…What is this woman to you?”

“My protector.”