Chinsuko!

Full-on, Jody considers sending him to a mental hospital because he won't eat, he won't move, and he barely reacts to anything. Maybe she does, maybe she feels like the love of her life is dying; and she doesn’t know what to do. He just sits and stares at the ceiling or sleeps. And I think it would be months of this— Colt coming out of it only a few times, maybe for a few hours at a time, just to have a psychological breakdown. Like his whole body is trying to rip itself apart, almost like a psychosomatic seizure, before he cycles back into being dissociated 24/7.

Everyone in his life realizes that the only reason he hasn't stepped off a roof is because he made that promise to Jody that he'd let the people who love him help him. So this is his middle ground: slowly self-destructing, but not running away.

And if it's a coltlandgentry au, I think the only thing that could snap him out of the cycle long enough to confront his brother leaving would be Court reappearing in his life. Maybe Stratt feels guilty. Maybe Court, upon hearing about his younger brother's fate, resurfaces long enough to check on his middle brother, only to find him basically catatonic or actively having a seizure.

Maybe Colt used to get like this when they were kids. He'd shut down, go somewhere else so completely and for so long that it could take days to get him back. Maybe that's why he loves physical work so much— it centers him in his body. It pulls him away from the fog that used to descend at any moment, where he could lose hours or days of time. And by the time the fog was no longer a constant problem, he was already in love with his craft.

Now, getting him to even go outside can send him into a screaming, seizure-induced fit. Something in his brain has cracked. Its foundation shattered, and he's frozen, unable to jump or move on, just staring at the wreckage of his mind and the long, long life ahead of him without Ryland.

Do you think it was Ryland he clawed himself out of the fog for? That it was his baby brother shivering in his arms, begging him to come back, begging him not to leave like Court did, after Colt lost time like always? Making him promise to do anything, try anything, for him? It was Ryland who kept him from falling off that edge. Ryland who was his lodestar. Ryland who he built the foundations of himself around until he found a way to stand on his own.

Because as much as Ryland was his little brother, as much as Colt took care of and protected him, deep down Colt knew he needed Ryland more than Ryland ever needed him.

So he made himself bigger and tougher than anyone else, so Ryland would always have someone there for him. So the fog would never take Colt away from him ever again. And in turn, he pushed away anyone and everyone whenever he was weak, because he couldn't need them. If he needed them, then he couldn't stand alone. But now Ryland's gone. And while Colt was getting better at reaching out for help, at being vulnerable, his entire reason for every act of self-actualization is as good as dead. He has no ability to conceptualize himself, much less a reality where, Ryland is gone.

So he doesn't, and Court is left with a younger brother he couldn't save and a middle brother he can at least try to.

So he finds Carl. It's not hard. Eva's in prison, but the next best person to pull emotional strings just happens to work for the CIA. Court comes to him and says: Free me. Let me see my brother. Save Claire, make sure she has a good life. It's the least you could do for my brother. Carl tells him to fuck off, then quietly makes things happen behind the scenes. And suddenly Six is Court again, with the world before him and Claire in his care as her legal guardian. Because Carl loved Grace too, in his own way. And Court is good at his job.

Court immediately goes to Colt. Who is a shell in more ways than one. But Court remembers this Colt. He remembers this Colt better than he remembers the version without the fog. The glassy-eyed brother who would come to in the middle of his cereal and ask what was happening, where he was, why his eye hurt. He knows this Colt. So he takes over his care.

It's as easy as explaining things to Jody and Dan, then moving everyone somewhere open and beautiful by the beach. It's day by day, helping Colt eat. Holding his hand. Leading him outside to stargaze or build sand castles by the beach. It's Claire chattering endlessly to Colt about trends, art, photography and how stupid some boy in class is being. It's Jody deciding to live her life and still come back every day— or video call whenever she can— it’s holding him at night and kissing his cheek before she leaves at breakfast; because she said she would stay, and she never backs down. It's watching movies with Dan. Movies they've both seen a hundred times, know word for word, and still pausing to wait for Colt to wake up and say his part.

It's Court's steady presence, who takes to caretaking like his hands were made for it. Like, in another life, this would have been his purpose. (Claire calls him Nurse Grace more than once, and somehow it feels right more than Six ever did. )

It's medication and doctor visits and physical therapy. Always physical therapy. It's agonizing in its slowness. In its quiet. It could take months, maybe even a year, before Colt can stay present in his body for more than a week without seizures, breakdowns, or falling back into the fog.

And maybe this is forever. Maybe he's broken forever. You can't shatter someone's sense of self and expect them to put it back together exactly the same way. Maybe Colt wakes up one day and finds himself an entirely different man. With different wants and loves and desires. Maybe the people in his life love him anyway. Maybe his twin, his other half, his soul outside his body, is eleven light-years away and took the pieces of Colt that made him whole.

But maybe the people who love him can help fill in some of those gaps. Enough that he can stand. And laugh, and stargaze, and love.

grace: obviously rocky and adrian have a deep bond that i can't really fully understand from being married for almost two centuries

Nah cause this is so funny

Imagine Grace coming to set, and as everyone imagines, gets mistaken for Colt. And obviously, they just think he's Colt, playing a character and making jokes, mocking Ryder and his acting by pulling on a character of his own. "No no no, You're not listening," Ryland laughs nervously, hands grabbing at wrists that were pulling him into a body harness. “I’m not Colt. I’m his brother. Ryland Grace, I’m a teacher-” And the people pulling him into the harness just smile and chuckle, shaking their heads. “Yeah, why are your last names different then, smart guy?” One asks as they start pressing him towards the lift. 

“We changed them!”

And it isn’t till he’s being brought a 138 ft up a lift that this might be where he dies, clutching his harness over his heart and staying silent in panic.

Meanwhile Colt strolls on to set with his glass on and coffee in hand, sidling up beside some people as they all watch the lift go up. “Hmm. And I thought I’d be getting the first jump of the day.” He joked softly, turning to look at them but only getting confused looking back. “Something on my face? I swear this lipstick is mine-I’m trying a new shade-”

Anyway, everyone is trying to radio to the top of the lift but they all have their radios on different channels, so Grace is standing at the top, knees shaking and panicking as he looks down at the jump they expect him to make. Had expected Colt to make and that’s just as scary cause he thinks he’d rather be here making this jump than letting his brother do it and his brother was the professional, had probably done something like this a million times.

“Alright, you know how this is gonna go,” A warm voice on his left says, barely able to look over with his white knuckled hands on his harness as someone straps him to a carabiner and cable. The man beside him isn’t looking at him, but he’s attractive. Dark hair pulled up into a bun with bangs and pieces falling out, thick glasses and endlessly voidable eyes that Grace would spend the rest of his life searching through, which may only be for the next ten minutes. A tight shirt pulled over an impressive chest and stretching the sleeves over wide arms, a black prosthetic holding a clipboard the man was more focused on.

“They tested it a few times with your body weight, so they’re not gonna slow fall it this time. We’re just gonna rip it straight a few times then we’ll get the rig camera to start recording. It’ll follow you down but don’t worry about hiding your face, just brace, Yeah?” The attractive man said before gently slapping Ryland’s chest with the board and flashing him a slight smile with a crinkle of his eyes, so warm and dark he was half grateful that whatever forces of the universe gave him this fate decided to soften the blow with such a handsome being as his last seen face.

The man only looked to his face for half a second, already turning and looking away before stopping dead in his tracks before he even finished his first step, looking back to Ryland’s face again with a pinched expression.

Thank god thank god thank god-

“Woah- did- What the hell is going on?” The man shouted back to the team that was a bit further back, all of them looking up from the dropping rig and pulleys for the harness system. “Who the fuck is this? I was told Colt was ripping it all day.”

“He is.”

The man looked back to Ryland, the blonde’s face contorting with relief as his hand reached out, taking the man’s flesh shoulder in his shaky hand.

He was kind too, which should be illegal when Ryland was shaking so bad he could hear his bones rattle, his savior’s face softly shifted to sympathetic as his flesh hand came up to fist in the back of his harness.

“ I’m- I’m not Colt.”

“No, no, I know you're not,” The man hushes softly, pulling him from the ledge slowly, Ryland’s legs shuffling as the man wrapped his arm around his back, and Grace had never hugged himself to someone so tight in his life. “Jesus fuck, all of you are blind. Someone get the lift back up here! And get on the right fucking channel! They’ve probably been calling around for Colt.” 

“Thank you- Oh my god, thank you. You’re an angel,” Grace whispers shakily, gripping the back of the man’s shirt and tangling his hands in the back of the man’s own harness that was keeping him connected to the platform.

“Can’t believe you made it all the way up here,” The man said, putting down the clipboard on the ground and wrapping his prosthetic arm around Grace’s back so he could unclip his carabiners form the rig, then clipping it onto the other man’s harness so they were attached. “Who are you?”

“Grace. Colt’s my brother.” He laughed a little, adrenaline spiking through him and making everything fuzzy and funny. “Cripes- You're not gonna tell anyone if I pee right now, right?”

Which makes the man laugh, patting Ryland’s back. “I’m impressed you haven’t already,” The man assured. “I’m Simon. We’re calling up the elevator right now and we’ll get you back on the ground, alright? You good?”

“No.”

“That is extraordinarily fair. You’ll feel better when we get on the lift.” 

It wasn’t until the radio was changed to the right channel and the crew at the top of the drop confirmed that everything was alright that a very unhappy voice rang through. “I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU GUYS DROP MY BROTHER I’M GONNA DROP YOU-”

“It’s fine, Colt,” Simon radio’s back, having grabbed it off one of the crew as he shuffled them both onto the lift, pale arms practically choking hims around his neck with Grace’s tight grip. “I’m bringing him down right now.”

“WHY THE HELL WAS HE UP THERE-”

i'm just imagining him, trapped in his own head, while Rocky hugs/comforts him, mute and immobile. like, everybody knows he's alive and thinking, but he just physically hasn't figured out how to do anything. Definitely extremely horrifying for him in the moment but it would be sweet to think about.

Savior Grace, Mate of Savior Rocky and Adrian

(some wedding shenanigans)

Adrian is happy happy happy about the new addition to the family.

(the original quote is from b99, of course; i'm sure this has been done before, but who cares. full picture below the cut)

He goes over to Simon's room and asks him if he can watch him sleep. Rationally, he knows both of them will be completely fine. They have plenty of food, they have a house, no more life-threatening events are happening, etc. But a small part of Grace tells him that if he lets go of the tight grasp he had on Simon back when they were on the Hail Mary, Simon will vanish.

Simon tells him he's ok. His nightmares are getting better and better, he knows all of this is real deep in his bones, he doesn't doubt things as much, he knows that Grace appreciates him, and all of that. So he tells Grace to go back to bed. They're ok, they'll be ok. They'll both be here in the morning and the beach will be outside of their door waiting for them.

Grace wakes up again. Same nightmare, same fears of letting go.

The next morning, Simon comments on how tired Grace looks. Grace is irritated, but he can't be irritated at Simon, or else Simon will leave.

So he tells him calmly that he is and shrugs.

Simon hesitates for a bit, then finally speaks up a few minutes later. He's not used to being the first to speak, the one to initiate. He likes talking with Grace, but usually Grace is the one who brings him something to think about.

"I don't like it when you pity me."

Grace is startled slightly, having zoned out and also not expecting the conversation. "I don't. Never did."

"Then what was last night? Asking to watch me sleep. Are you that afraid I'm going to fall apart?" Simon looks at Grace incredibly critically. He's looking for any indications of Grace lying, of him hiding anything.

"No! No." Grace trails off, "I'm the one falling apart."

There's a long bout of silence. Simon can't quite believe what he's just heard, and he's also baffled at the lack of reaction on Grace's face.

This is unusual. Grace wears his emotions on his face; he can't usually hide any of it. Simon's never seen... this. It's numbness. It's acceptance.

"What?" Simon finally speaks up again.

"Comfort isn't stable. It doesn't stay. We're happy now, but one day it won't be the same. Maybe the dome will fail. Maybe they'll run out of resources to spend on us. Rocky will ask us to leave, go back to earth."

In the past, it was usually Simon who was scared to have all of this taken away in the blink of an eye. That he'd wake up from a nice dream into the nightmare he'd been living back on that moon.

He didn't know what to say about this.

"I was comfortable before. I always get comfortable, but it never stays." There are tears now running down Grace's face.

"I was getting comfortable in the routine we had in the Mary. But I knew we couldn't stay there forever. We needed a better life than that. And that was fine-

Before that, I was comfortable just being a biologist. Someone that knew a lot about astrophage. But no, I was the only one that could save the stars. So they dragged me in the Mary kicking and screaming.

Before that, I was comfortable teaching my kids back on earth. But I was needed. I needed to help them save the stars, so I did, cuz I had a point to prove. Stupid thesus-

Before that, I was comfortable being a student, I learned well, it was a nice. I liked the routine, the studying, the people. I had a plan and I knew where I was going to go. But then I had to make that stupid thesus. Ruined my life.

Before that, it was cozy. I had a nice big family. But then my parents died, and my siblings couldn't handle it, so they turned to drugs, and violence, and- what ever they ended up doing, leaving me behind.

It never stays. Comfort is always fleeting. And I'm afraid that the first thing to go will be you."

At this point Grace is sobbing. It's honestly surprised how he's able to push through the sobs to speak without tripping over his own tongue.

Simon blinks out of his frozen state when Grace takes a breath and walks up to him to engulf him into a tight hug. Of course, Grace hugs back. When has Grace ever turned down a hug?

"So, it's me. I'm afraid you'll die without me getting there in time to help, or suffer through something alone and hate me for not being there, or I'm afraid that if I get mad at you by accident, you'll never want to see me again."

Simon's head is still rushing with all of this new information. He tries to find ways to comfort Grace like Grace usually did with him when he had bad days, but the words never come.

"I-I'm sorry." Grace stutters for the first time. That's it, he's gone. He won't be able to make a speech like that again. If let alone speak coherently at all.

Grace's knees wobble. Simon shuffles them over to the living room and sits them on the couch. Grace cries till his tears dry out, and even then, he continues to dry sob. It takes him hours to calm down, and by then, he's passed out in Simon's arms.

How long had Grace been holding onto that? During their whole stay on the Mary, Grace had been happy. He'd been Simon's rock. Even when they landed, Grace was excited about the Biodome. He was happy and content when they settled into their house. He'd been happy... Right?

Simon isn't sure how he'll handle this just yet, but if Grace could be strong for him for so long, he could be strong for Grace, too.

Sometime after the canon Simon FreakOut, Simon realized that he can use this to his advantage in an attempt to court Grace.

For Example:

Rocky: Grace spend too much time with Simon!

Grace: Rocky, we’ve talked about this. Simon is very clearly a species where he needs skin to skin contact on the daily or he doesn’t feel well

Simon, literally holding Grace on top of him: *in eel speak(?)* ~yep, totally need that. It’s not just cuz I get crabby when you don’t cuddle me~

~~~

Grace, thinking aloud: your species must be such social creatures! I can’t imagine a whole planet filled with people who have the need to cuddle daily!

Simon: ~Yes…social creatures…~

~~~

Grace, seeing Simon wearing the harness: oh! Is that a cultural thing? For modesty? Would you be more comfortable if I wore one?

Simon, quite literally foaming at the mouth at that idea: ~YES PLEASE~

~~~

It’s even better if, for whatever reason, Rocky can understand Simon’s eel language but doesn’t say a thing because Grace clearly needs the contact that Rocky can’t provide

That doesn’t mean he’s happy about it, though

Rocky: Simon hog Grace, statement.

Simon: ~Cry about it~

Rocky: *rolls over his foot*

Simon: ~You son of a—!~

~~~

Rocky, watching them cuddle* Simon is little baby

Simon: ~I will kill you~

Rocky: Rocky like to see Simon try, statement.

~~~

Grace, watching them talk to each other while Rocky had turned off the translator: I wonder what they’re talking about, maybe their species can become friends!

Rocky, to Simon: Little bitch boy!

Simon: ~stone faced little asshole!~

Rocky: Clingy sad man!

Simon: ~Jealous rock head!~

Rocky: Ugly fish boy!

Colt is an equivalent of an orange cat with zoomies that would never end. As a kid he was a problem to every one. I imagine that Court had to catch this menace right before something stupid or dangerous. Just a list of random ideas:

Right before Colt would've dive into the fountain

Right before Colt was ready to jump of the high curb

Right before Colt would run into glass wall he didn't see

Right before Colt would've tripped over Ryland that didn't see his twin running like torpedo

Court always had to keep an eye on Colt, forgetting about Ryland for a second which gave the last one a chance to wonder off somewhere dangerous. So yeah, basically I see Court like this:

Or Colt and Ryland like this: