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i will never get over the buckley parents giving maddie her baby box in front of buck, knowing full well they didn’t have one for him?? because what the actual FUCK?? is wrong with them????
one more step to plummet 700 feet (the best time of your life)
This title gives me Tommy comparing falling for Buck to the first time he jumped from a helicopter.
The rise is faster than he expected. It's thrilling, he's somewhere he's never been before. It's incredible up here, the problems of the world are way below him. It's all blue skies and scenery and he could stay here forever.
Then someone's pushing to the edge, Evan's showing him pictures of ex - their ex - and he's saying all these things Tommy can't quite hear over the roaring in his ears.
It was the most transformative relationship of my life...until now.
Check your gear. Eyes on your lines
It makes me admire more.
Step to the edge.
The air is ripping at him, stinging his eyes, almost enough to knock him completely off balance.
I want you to move in with me.
30 seconds
This is absolutely insane. Why is here? Why did he do this to himself?
Why be apart when we can be together?
Go!
He's free falling. The world that was so small just a moment ago is surging up to meet him. He has to move fast
But this isn't military training. There's no rip chord to pull, no parachute to save him.
Spent hours on the omegaverse doc. Wrote ~2k words, cut them back out, deleted another ~6k.
Started and stopped and deleted and tried again. Finally after another three plus hours, I had just under 350 words to show for my efforts.
Partially because it required a ton of research, partially because it's well outside my wheelhouse, partially because several plan didn't work out for one reason or another.
Then, to celebrate getting past that really difficult part... I started a new WIP. Basically, Buck and Tommy keep hooking up after the hook up. Tommy knows it's meaningless but can't stop himself. So it's self-loathing and misery, sure that Evan is involved with someone else but comes to him - uses him - when that person isn't available. Hoping that then it's almost retold/expanded on with Buck's POV. And he's barely holding himself together through the power of these stolen moments.
Or that's the intention. Here's a sneak peek of the first 300 words:
Tommy wondered how selfish and masochistic he can be, how much longer he could greedily accept kisses he knows are meaningless. How much longer he could be the one Evan turned to when whoever he really wanted wasn't around, wasn't available, wasn't at Evan's beck and call like he was.
The first time it happened - or second if you count the time at the bar with Ravi, which Tommy doesn't because that time he'd stupidly thought it meant something - had been in a bar about six months after he'd driven Evan home after Bobby's funeral.
Tommy had sat in a quiet little bar, idly wondering if two beers and a basket of fries constituted a social life when he saw Evan come in. Tommy couldn't take his eyes off him.
At the funeral, Evan had been staunchly upright, a pillar Tommy supposed would hold up the 118 in Bobby's absence. Then as Tommy had driven him home afterwards, Evan had slowly collapsed in the passenger seat like an inflatable with a slow bleed. Tommy thought there might have been nothing left of him if Evan had lived any further away. Tommy had helped him out of his truck and unlocked the door for him, held him up as Tommy sought a bedroom to lay him down in.
He'd intended to stay with him. He'd have stood at attention all night in his dress uniform if he'd had to. Instead, once they'd crossed the threshold into the bedroom, Evan had pushed free of his help, squared his shoulders, and told him, “You can go.”
It was a cold dismissal and maybe Tommy should have been a better man but when had he ever been the better man? He'd held Evan's gaze for five seconds and then nodded and did as he'd been told.
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This isn't something they do often, or at all, if they're being honest. In the years that they've been together their presentations have been the least important thing to them. Buck is an omega, but that doesn't make him any less than Tommy and Sal just because they're alphas, no matter what other narrow minded people may think. All three of them are strong, capable firefighters, all three of them are equally smart in their own ways; they're evenly, perfectly matched. And Sal and Tommy have never treated Buck as lesser than them, even during his heats when he's out of his mind with hormones and it would be so easy to take advantage, they've never done anything that they hadn't agreed upon before the heat started. They always take the best care of him. And it's amazing, it's everything Buck ever wished for, but sometimes...
Sometimes he needed this. He needs the burn in his legs as he runs, stumbling over roots and rocks, branches and brambles catching on his clothes as he tears through the forest. He needs his heart to race and his lungs to ache. He needs to feel helpless. Hunted.
Ruts only come around once a year, far less often than a heat cycle. They usually spend that time holed up in Tommy's cabin in the mountains, far away from anyone or anything that could interrupt them. It's one of the few times Buck can convince them to really let go, to give in to the urges they fight down the rest of the year and let instinct take over.
This time he convinced them to agree to the chase.
Buck pants as his feet slide on a loose cropping of gravel by a stream and he falls, palms scraping in the grit. He forces himself up, splashing across the water into a close cluster of trees. He has to stop there for a moment, back pressed against the rough bark as he gulps in a lungful of air.
There's a howl in the distance and Buck grins. He had had a head start, made a false path. He can't believe it actually worked. He lets his head fall back, taking advantage of the small victory to rest and catch his breath.
A hand closes around throat and hot breath ghost over his face. He meets a pair of glowing red eyes and a victorious, predatory grin.
you deserve all your flowers for writing jacket verse I’m sorry it totally slipped past me but hoooooooly shit I’m going feral.
Thank you!! Jacket Verse is my precious baby 🥰 hopefully part 3 will be complete soon, but until then, there are a few snippets posted already. I'm so excited that you found it and enjoyed it!
A little Jacket Verse Part 3 to start your weekend. Smut under the cut
Tommy watches as Sal grabs Evan's wrist and tugs him into his lap. Evan throws his long legs fluidly over Sal's thighs as he settles, slipping one arm around his shoulders as Sal's arm wraps around his waist. It's the same kind of practiced ease he and Evan had built together during their relationship and it makes the jealousy he's been fighting all night rear its ugly head and roar. Sal's lips brush across Evan's jaw as blue eyes lock with his, hot and heavy.
"Why are you still all the way over there?"
--*--
A shiver runs up Buck's spine as Sal presses a feather light kiss to the sensitive place right below his ear and one of his hand slips beneath the hem of his shirt. The rough drag of callouses across his hipbone have him shifting, grinding down against the bulge starting to grow against his ass.
"Why are you still all the way over there?"
Buck opens his eyes, he's not even sure when he closed them, and looks across the coffee table at Tommy. He's still in the arm chair he settled in after dinner, fingers wrapped tightly around his beer bottle, looking half turned on and half pissed. A muscle in his jaw twitches when their eyes meet. Buck smiles at him and reaches out a hand.
"C'mere Daddy."
The bottle clacks loudly against the wood of the table and Tommy stands. For half a second, Buck worries that something has gone horribly wrong and that he's going to walk out. But then Tommy's mouth is on his, two fingers under his chin, lifting Buck's face to the angle he wants. It's like coming home and Buck's chest aches with the rush of emotions it brings. Sal's hand runs up his spine and he groans softly against Tommy's lips, pressing back into the touch.
Tommy grabs his waist, pulling until Buck is straddling him, his knees digging into the cushions on either side of his hips. Buck breaks the kiss and lays his forehead against Tommy's, rubs a thumb over his cheek.
"This isn't a tug-of-war," He reminds him gently. "There's no competition."
Tommy closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, rubbing small circles into Buck's hips with his thumbs, the nods. When his eyes open again, they're dark with want. He turns and grabs Sal by the back of the neck, pulling him in for rough kisses, their teeth clacking with the force of it. Buck can see their tongues battling against each other and it might be the hottest thing he's ever witnessed in his life. He moans and rolls his hips down against Tommy's, seeking friction. He thinks he could get off just watching them, he could be perfectly content just rubbing himself on Tommy's thigh if it meant they let him see. Sal pulls away first, gasping.
"Bedroom." His voice has taken that low tone that makes Buck want to drop his pants then and there. He wants to surge forward and devour him, or maybe be devoured. A sharp slap to his ass makes him yelp. "Now."
Buck scrambles to get up, nearly tripping over Tommy's feet in his hurry. Someone huffs out a laugh and he starts to pout, but a thumb presses against his lower lip instead.
"Always so eager," Tommy teases. Buck opens his lips and brushes his tongue over the pad of his thumb then sucks. Tommy groans. "Fuck, sweetheart."
"That's the plan." Buck grabs his hand and tugs him down the hall, his eyes flicking between Tommy's grin and Sal stalking after them, already pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
When they get into his bedroom, they're a tangle of limbs trying to get each other undressed as quickly as possible. Fingers knock together and tangle over buttons and zippers, Buck gets trapped in his t-shirt because two sets of hands are trying to yank it off at different angles.
"Maybe we should keep him like this," Sal murmurs as he struggles in their grasps. "Make his guess what's coming to him."
And fuck if that idea drive him crazy. Buck moans, fighting harder against the fabric until one of them takes pity on him and pulls it the rest of the way over his head.
"Maybe next time," Tommy promises. Buck's heart seizes, then soars.
Next time.
Buck isn't sure who he should be looking at. He and Sal have never explicitly used the word 'boyfriend' to describe each other, but Buck has no doubts that that's what they are. Buck's eyes are immediately drawn to his thick arms, the dark hair on his chest and stomach, the was his muscles ripple as he kicks his jeans to side. But Tommy is here, too, stripping his own clothes away to reveal the tan, freckled skin underneath. Buck hasn't been able to stop looking at him, still in disbelief that he's really there. He wants those broad hands all over him, can't stop imagining him backing him up against every wall of his new house. And there are so many walls in this place.
Sal tugs Tommy to him, cupping a hand over the front of his boxers, rubbing his palm over his cock, and Tommy's head tips back with a groan, one hand sliding into Sal's hair.
It might be the single greatest thing Buck has ever seen in his life. His hand wraps around his own cock as he watches Sal and Tommy rock into each other, he sees Sal lick a rivulet of sweat off Tommy's neck and wants to kiss the taste of it off his tongue. He doesn't realize the low whine is coming from him until Sal his pulling away Tommy to smirk at him.
"Poor baby," Sal coos, looming over him. "Is no one paying attention to you?"
That hadn't been an issue at all, but Buck isn't going to complain about Sal's arms wrapping around him to move him further up the mattress so he can press Buck into the pillows. Not when Sal dips his head into curve of his neck and he can see Tommy pushing his underwear down his legs before he kneels on the bed beside them. Buck's thoughts are going soft and fuzzy with desire, but he reaches for him, reminding him that they want him here, they need him with them. Tommy shuffles closer, knocking his shoulder against Sal's as he leans in to kiss Buck and swallow up the sounds escaping his mouth.
It's almost too much to bear. Buck's had threesomes before, but never like this. Never with two people who know his body like their own, know exactly how and where to touch. The weight of Sal's body between his thighs while Tommy's teeth and tounge tease over his throat and chest has him panting and begging in an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.
"You make such pretty sounds, baby," Tommy praises, swiping his fingers through the mess Buck has made on his stomach. "So sweet for us."
Buck's brain has been too sufficiently turned to mush for him to formulate any kind of coherent response. The best he can do is moan pitifully when Sal pulls out of him, running his fingers soothingly through Buck's sweaty hair and tugging gently at the ends before turning full attention back to Tommy.
Buck takes back what he was thinking before, Sal straddling Tommy's thighs and sinking down onto his cock is the hottest thing he's ever seen. He's torn between watching their faces contort in pleasure between kisses and letting his eyes fall to where they're connected; to the strong muscles in Sal's legs rippling as he moves, Tommy's hands sliding from his hips to grip his ass. He could just watch them all night, for the rest of his life, but they're reaching for him, drawing him back to them. Buck kisses Tommy, scratching across his chest to hear the gasping moans he makes when his nails catch on a sensitive nipple. Sal isn't as sensitive as he and Tommy are, but Buck has dedicated months to learning his body and finding all the places that make him tick. He takes his time running his fingers across his ribs, over the swell of his pecs, the thick muscles in his arms, before threading them into his hair and tilting his head back to latch his lips onto his neck.
"You look so hot riding his dick," He breathes into Sal's ear, wrapping his other hand around his cock, moving tight and fast like he liked it. "Wanna see you come all over him. You want that, Tommy?"
Tommy moans, his hips jerking, and Buck grins down at him. Whatever Tommy sees in his face enough to spur him on, thrusting up hard enough that Sal loses his rhythm, giving Tommy the chance to set the pace.
"Fuck yeah, mark me up. Come on, honey, give it to me."
As he speaks, Buck sinks his teeth into the place where Sal's jaw meets his ear. Sal's body jerks violently as he comes, shooting across Tommy's chest and stomach and Buck's hand. Tommy isn't far behind him, grunting roughly as he slams Sal's hips back down against his and spilling into him.
Sal droops against Tommy's chest, foreheads pressed together for a few long seconds as they pant and exchange short, soft kisses, then lifts himself up and collapses on the mattress between them, satisfied grin streched over his face. Buck knows Sal isn't the biggest fan of post-sex snuggling, he says it's too hot right after, but he tucks himself into his side anyway, and Sal wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him in closer. Buck smiles and presses a kiss to his chest, then stretches his arm over his stomach to lace his fingers with Tommy's, reveling in the soft look and brush of lips against his knuckles that he gets in return, feeling complete for the first time in his life.
They force themselves up out of bed eventually, taking turns cleaning up in the shower and digging through the dresser for clothes. All three of them move back to the living room couch, Buck in the middle this time, eating dessert straight from the dish, but not speaking, each afraid to break fragile moment of closeness between them.
"I have no idea how this could possibly work," Tommy says after a while, the soft words seeming to echo in the silence. Buck feels his heart drop, and suddenly the sweetness of the cherries taste like ashes in his mouth. But just before the pain of another heartbreak sweeps in, Tommy lifts his hand to kiss his knuckles again, stretches his other arm over the back of the couch to reach for Sal.
A little Jacket Verse Part 3 to start your weekend. Smut under the cut
Tommy watches as Sal grabs Evan's wrist and tugs him into his lap. Evan throws his long legs fluidly over Sal's thighs as he settles, slipping one arm around his shoulders as Sal's arm wraps around his waist. It's the same kind of practiced ease he and Evan had built together during their relationship and it makes the jealousy he's been fighting all night rear its ugly head and roar. Sal's lips brush across Evan's jaw as blue eyes lock with his, hot and heavy.
"Why are you still all the way over there?"
--*--
A shiver runs up Buck's spine as Sal presses a feather light kiss to the sensitive place right below his ear and one of his hand slips beneath the hem of his shirt. The rough drag of callouses across his hipbone have him shifting, grinding down against the bulge starting to grow against his ass.
"Why are you still all the way over there?"
Buck opens his eyes, he's not even sure when he closed them, and looks across the coffee table at Tommy. He's still in the arm chair he settled in after dinner, fingers wrapped tightly around his beer bottle, looking half turned on and half pissed. A muscle in his jaw twitches when their eyes meet. Buck smiles at him and reaches out a hand.
"C'mere Daddy."
The bottle clacks loudly against the wood of the table and Tommy stands. For half a second, Buck worries that something has gone horribly wrong and that he's going to walk out. But then Tommy's mouth is on his, two fingers under his chin, lifting Buck's face to the angle he wants. It's like coming home and Buck's chest aches with the rush of emotions it brings. Sal's hand runs up his spine and he groans softly against Tommy's lips, pressing back into the touch.
Tommy grabs his waist, pulling until Buck is straddling him, his knees digging into the cushions on either side of his hips. Buck breaks the kiss and lays his forehead against Tommy's, rubs a thumb over his cheek.
"This isn't a tug-of-war," He reminds him gently. "There's no competition."
Tommy closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, rubbing small circles into Buck's hips with his thumbs, the nods. When his eyes open again, they're dark with want. He turns and grabs Sal by the back of the neck, pulling him in for rough kisses, their teeth clacking with the force of it. Buck can see their tongues battling against each other and it might be the hottest thing he's ever witnessed in his life. He moans and rolls his hips down against Tommy's, seeking friction. He thinks he could get off just watching them, he could be perfectly content just rubbing himself on Tommy's thigh if it meant they let him see. Sal pulls away first, gasping.
"Bedroom." His voice has taken that low tone that makes Buck want to drop his pants then and there. He wants to surge forward and devour him, or maybe be devoured. A sharp slap to his ass makes him yelp. "Now."
Buck scrambles to get up, nearly tripping over Tommy's feet in his hurry. Someone huffs out a laugh and he starts to pout, but a thumb presses against his lower lip instead.
"Always so eager," Tommy teases. Buck opens his lips and brushes his tongue over the pad of his thumb then sucks. Tommy groans. "Fuck, sweetheart."
"That's the plan." Buck grabs his hand and tugs him down the hall, his eyes flicking between Tommy's grin and Sal stalking after them, already pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
When they get into his bedroom, they're a tangle of limbs trying to get each other undressed as quickly as possible. Fingers knock together and tangle over buttons and zippers, Buck gets trapped in his t-shirt because two sets of hands are trying to yank it off at different angles.
"Maybe we should keep him like this," Sal murmurs as he struggles in their grasps. "Make his guess what's coming to him."
And fuck if that idea drive him crazy. Buck moans, fighting harder against the fabric until one of them takes pity on him and pulls it the rest of the way over his head.
"Maybe next time," Tommy promises. Buck's heart seizes, then soars.
Next time.
Buck isn't sure who he should be looking at. He and Sal have never explicitly used the word 'boyfriend' to describe each other, but Buck has no doubts that that's what they are. Buck's eyes are immediately drawn to his thick arms, the dark hair on his chest and stomach, the was his muscles ripple as he kicks his jeans to side. But Tommy is here, too, stripping his own clothes away to reveal the tan, freckled skin underneath. Buck hasn't been able to stop looking at him, still in disbelief that he's really there. He wants those broad hands all over him, can't stop imagining him backing him up against every wall of his new house. And there are so many walls in this place.
Sal tugs Tommy to him, cupping a hand over the front of his boxers, rubbing his palm over his cock, and Tommy's head tips back with a groan, one hand sliding into Sal's hair.
It might be the single greatest thing Buck has ever seen in his life. His hand wraps around his own cock as he watches Sal and Tommy rock into each other, he sees Sal lick a rivulet of sweat off Tommy's neck and wants to kiss the taste of it off his tongue. He doesn't realize the low whine is coming from him until Sal his pulling away Tommy to smirk at him.
"Poor baby," Sal coos, looming over him. "Is no one paying attention to you?"
That hadn't been an issue at all, but Buck isn't going to complain about Sal's arms wrapping around him to move him further up the mattress so he can press Buck into the pillows. Not when Sal dips his head into curve of his neck and he can see Tommy pushing his underwear down his legs before he kneels on the bed beside them. Buck's thoughts are going soft and fuzzy with desire, but he reaches for him, reminding him that they want him here, they need him with them. Tommy shuffles closer, knocking his shoulder against Sal's as he leans in to kiss Buck and swallow up the sounds escaping his mouth.
It's almost too much to bear. Buck's had threesomes before, but never like this. Never with two people who know his body like their own, know exactly how and where to touch. The weight of Sal's body between his thighs while Tommy's teeth and tounge tease over his throat and chest has him panting and begging in an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.
"You make such pretty sounds, baby," Tommy praises, swiping his fingers through the mess Buck has made on his stomach. "So sweet for us."
Buck's brain has been too sufficiently turned to mush for him to formulate any kind of coherent response. The best he can do is moan pitifully when Sal pulls out of him, running his fingers soothingly through Buck's sweaty hair and tugging gently at the ends before turning full attention back to Tommy.
Buck takes back what he was thinking before, Sal straddling Tommy's thighs and sinking down onto his cock is the hottest thing he's ever seen. He's torn between watching their faces contort in pleasure between kisses and letting his eyes fall to where they're connected; to the strong muscles in Sal's legs rippling as he moves, Tommy's hands sliding from his hips to grip his ass. He could just watch them all night, for the rest of his life, but they're reaching for him, drawing him back to them. Buck kisses Tommy, scratching across his chest to hear the gasping moans he makes when his nails catch on a sensitive nipple. Sal isn't as sensitive as he and Tommy are, but Buck has dedicated months to learning his body and finding all the places that make him tick. He takes his time running his fingers across his ribs, over the swell of his pecs, the thick muscles in his arms, before threading them into his hair and tilting his head back to latch his lips onto his neck.
"You look so hot riding his dick," He breathes into Sal's ear, wrapping his other hand around his cock, moving tight and fast like he liked it. "Wanna see you come all over him. You want that, Tommy?"
Tommy moans, his hips jerking, and Buck grins down at him. Whatever Tommy sees in his face enough to spur him on, thrusting up hard enough that Sal loses his rhythm, giving Tommy the chance to set the pace.
"Fuck yeah, mark me up. Come on, honey, give it to me."
As he speaks, Buck sinks his teeth into the place where Sal's jaw meets his ear. Sal's body jerks violently as he comes, shooting across Tommy's chest and stomach and Buck's hand. Tommy isn't far behind him, grunting roughly as he slams Sal's hips back down against his and spilling into him.
Sal droops against Tommy's chest, foreheads pressed together for a few long seconds as they pant and exchange short, soft kisses, then lifts himself up and collapses on the mattress between them, satisfied grin streched over his face. Buck knows Sal isn't the biggest fan of post-sex snuggling, he says it's too hot right after, but he tucks himself into his side anyway, and Sal wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him in closer. Buck smiles and presses a kiss to his chest, then stretches his arm over his stomach to lace his fingers with Tommy's, reveling in the soft look and brush of lips against his knuckles that he gets in return, feeling complete for the first time in his life.
They force themselves up out of bed eventually, taking turns cleaning up in the shower and digging through the dresser for clothes. All three of them move back to the living room couch, Buck in the middle this time, eating dessert straight from the dish, but not speaking, each afraid to break fragile moment of closeness between them.
"I have no idea how this could possibly work," Tommy says after a while, the soft words seeming to echo in the silence. Buck feels his heart drop, and suddenly the sweetness of the cherries taste like ashes in his mouth. But just before the pain of another heartbreak sweeps in, Tommy lifts his hand to kiss his knuckles again, stretches his other arm over the back of the couch to reach for Sal.
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Bucktommy agegap AU with 22 year old probie Buck who’s just a sweet bumbling puppy with more bravado than sense but he tries So Hard and the 118 can’t help but love him. He’s kinda obtuse and evasive about his personal life, he flirts shamelessly with anyone and everyone but he never ever follows through ? And when they ask about his plans for the weekend he just sort of shrugs and grins all cheeky.
This one time he gets picked up from shift and this GORGEOUS classic car (leather seats, gleaming, the whole shebang) pulls up, he just waves and hops in but nobody can see the driver through the tinted windows ?? VERY MYSTERIOUS.
Then one night the whole group is out drinking and Buck gets sloppy, sleepy, cuddly drunk. Papa bear/designated driver Bobby offers to drive everyone home so they pile together into his truck. Buck is half passed out on Chim’s shoulder as he gives directions. They’re all expecting something kinda shabby, a share house with like six other dudes in a meh neighbourhood. But Buck directs them somewhere NICE. Manicured lawns and big houses. “Buck, are you sure this is the right place ???” And Buck’s just nodding and humming, “mmm-hmm.” As the houses they pass get bigger and more elaborate.
The one they finally pull into is beautiful, not ostentatious but clearly expensive and well maintained, that classic car in the drive. The front door is illuminated and as they pull up it opens. This guy steps out - older, built af, reading glasses perched on a very handsome face. He’s in sleepwear and house slippers and he’s got a slightly worried expression on his face.
“Evan?”
For a second the very drunk Hen and Chim are like ‘who the fuck is Evan??’ but then Buck is literally crawling over them to get out of the car and directly into the man’s arms. He’s murmuring a happy, “tommytommytommy” as Tommy easily scoops him right up, big hands on his thighs as he wraps his gangly limbs around his body and tucks his face into Tommy’s neck.
There’s absolute dead silence for a minute as everyone processes this situation.
Finally Bobby clears his throat and says, “Uh, I assume this one belongs to you?”
For his part, Tommy just nods, presses a kiss into Buck’s (floppy, unruly) curls and turns a wry smile on the group. “Thanks for getting him home, I really appreciate it.”
Chim unfreezes long enough to give a strangled, ‘no problem?’ as they all watch Buck burrow even further into Tommy’s arms, giving a happy little wiggle and sigh of contentment when Tommy wraps him up even tighter.
They’re all still staring as this burly, gorgeous older guy continues holding Buck (who’s gangly and about half the size of 30yr old Buck but definitely still a grown man) like it’s nothing. Tommy rubs a huge hand down Buck’s spine and murmurs, “Baby, where is your jacket? Cmon, let’s get you inside.”
And he gives the group another nod before turning to go into the beautiful house, Buck still clinging to him contentedly.
As they turn away, Chim SWEARS he hears a sleepy Buck replying, “Okay, Daddy.”
For a fic with this title, I would probably write something about Buck writing letters to different men in his life at different points (never to be sent) such as:
• one to Bobby during the lawsuit when they couldn't talk (and no one was listening anyway), trying to explain himself and saying he felt like he was losing the only family he ever had
• one to his father after the Daniel revelation about the difficulties of their relationship, that he can't imagine how losing a child feels but it wasn't fair that he missed out on having a dad that was there for him.
• Another one to Bobby written after the heart attack about how he just said out loud he was like a father to him and thanking him for everything
• maybe one to Eddie (after he moves?) about how he never had a real best friend before they met
• probably several to Tommy, but I kind of already did that here
• one to Red, the retired firefighter he befriended in season 3, about how he's afraid his team is falling apart, and he's starting to understand how Red ended up alone
• one to Conner about how perfect Theo is and how amazing it is to watch him grow up, and that he would never try to take his place.
• one to Theo about how there's nothing wrong with him, he's not a bad kid, he's just a kid, and even when he's driving Buck insane, he'll always love him anyway.
• one to Thomas, written after he and Tommy get back together, about how he finally understands 'you don't find it, you make it.'
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