leashy

His leg is fucked, but he doesn't think of it as a hindrance. It's a challenge. He's been chomping at the bit for a challenge he actually has a chance at overcoming.

A couple of the message boards he used to advertise on are still in service. He brushes up on the terminology and lists an ad. Worst case scenario, no one responds. He doesn't mention his leg.

He gets a couple of messages, but what they want isn't something he can do. The things they allude to wanting requires a level of mobility Buck doesn't currently have. He politely declines and says it's not possible.

It's only after talking to a couple of people, that he thinks about the logistics. He can't really go anywhere. A hotel would be safer, but that's a lot of hassle and a lot of money, if he gets stood up. After a few more people reach out, he removes the listing, and tries to accept that now isn't the right time. Maybe he can do what normal people do and find a girlfriend down the line, who will let him.

The listing has been down for a while, when he gets a message. The person contacting him must have saved his information. They go back and forth for a bit. It's a man, which isn't that unusual, Buck didn't specify, but it would be new for him. He's never had sex with a man, which is what he's asking for. He worked for a sex line, back in the day, where he got a lot of men. He's done some hand and mouth stuff, too, when he really needed money, but it's usually been a means to an end. This would be different.

It's an intriguing offer. The guy is clearly in the market for a normal sex worker, but Buck can see the logic in how he ended up contacting Buck. The guy hasn't had sex with a man before and he wants detailed instructions.

Before he says yes, Buck mentions having had surgery, so his mobility is limited. The guy says it's not a problem. Buck is already fifty steps ahead, when he says yes.

He tells himself the safety aspect is fine. It's not worse than a dating app. And he'll only do it once.

Buck spends a couple of days planning. He writes out a couple of different scripts, so he has something to lean on. He'll need help to get around, but if he plays it right, it could be hot. In Buck's head, it's very hot, but he can always play it off as strictly practical, if the guy isn't into it.

On the day of the appointment, Buck makes a call to Maddie and explains he's inviting a date over. Maddie is least likely to ask questions, and most likely to understand the safety concerns. Maddie asks him to say less, but she'll check in later.

He sets the scene as well as he can, and takes a seat at the dining table. His crutches are within reach, the door is unlocked, so he doesn't have to get up, and his phone is in his pocket.

Buck tries to manage his excitement a bit, but once the guy enters, all of that goes out the window. The guy closes the door behind him and leans against it, looking scared out of his mind.

”Hi.”

”Hi,” Buck smiles. He uses his good leg to push a chair out from the table. He can tell the guy's knees are about to buckle, which only makes him smile more.

The guy drops into the chair. His upper lip glistens with sweat.

”Nervous?”

”Uh-huh,” he nods.

”I'm Evan.”

”Tommy.”

”Hi, Tommy.” He watches Tommy glance behind him, at the crutches, then take in the sight of Buck's body. He seems interested, more than nervous. His interest in men is occupational, but Tommy is a very attractive man. ”Still wanna do this?”

Tommy clears his throat. ”Yes.”

”Good.” Tommy eyes turn sharp. ”Take off your shoes. Put them somewhere out of the way.”

Tommy looks around and finds the shoe rack. He bends down and tugs his laces free. Boots in hand, he gets up from the chair and puts them on the floor infront of the rack. He comes back and sits down.

”Good,” Buck says again, just too see Tommy's reaction. It's subtle. A twitch in the shoulders. ”You want to get straight to it, or do you want to talk first?”

He watches Tommy's throat bob. ”No talking.”

Buck chuckles. He grabs the chair he's sitting on, raises his bad leg, and scooches the chair further away from the table. Tommy's hands are in the air immediately, hovering. It's an interesting reflex, but Buck doesn't ask. Maybe he has an elderly family member he's close with.

”On the floor.”

Tommy blinks. It takes a second, then the meaning sinks in and he's slipping off his own chair, eyes not leaving Buck's face. Buck pats his thigh. Tommy is beginning to flush. He licks his lips and shuffles forward on his knees, until he can put his chin on Buck's knee. His eyes look beautiful and attentive in the moodlighting Buck had managed to create.

Buck gently strokes Tommy's hair back from his forehead. Tommy's eyes pinch closed. There's emotion in the tension in his brows. Based on the messages they've been exchanging, he expects some amount of fear or apprehension, but so far so good.

”I won't be asking,” Buck says, ”but that doesn't mean you can't say no.”

Tommy looks up at him, but doesn't speak. Buck curls his fingers in the hair on the back of Tommy's neck, and pulls him forward. It's gentle enough that Tommy can stop it easily, but he doesn't. He lets Buck pull his face into his crotch. Buck would've liked to dress nice for the occasion, but his leg is still stiff. He's wearing his nicest sweatpants. He feels Tommy exhale heavily through the fabric.

”Good?”

Tommy nods. Buck pets his hair for a moment.

”I want us to be on the same page, so I will ask some clarifying questions.” Another nod. ”You want to have sex with me.” Nod. ”Penetrative sex.” Nod. ”You want to be on the receiving end of the penetration.” Nod.

Buck smiles at his lap. It's sweet, even though it probably feels like hell for Tommy. ”Did you clean yourself before you got here?” He gets another nod. ”Did you prepare yourself?” That gets a careful shake of the head. ”Do you want to do it by yourself, or do you want to do it with me?”

He's clearly unhappy about having to use words, but Tommy lifts his head just enough to speak, ”I want you to tell me how.”

”Tell you or do it for you?”

Tommy meets his eyes. ”If you can, I'd like you to do it for me.”

Buck brushes over Tommy's cheek with his thumb. ”We'll see how I feel when we get there.” Tommy nods again. ”My bed is upstairs.”

Tommy pulls his head away from Buck's hand, to look around. He clearly hadn't seen anything on his way in.

”I also have a couch, but I prefer the bed.” He knows Tommy won't say what he prefers, but he presents the option anyway. ”I can do it myself, but I'd like you to help me up the stairs. Can you do that?”

Tommy is on his feet, hands open and offered, before the question is out of his mouth. ”What do you need?”

Buck smiles. His bad leg can support his weight decently well these days, but it's uncomfortable. His physical therapist says it's a mental thing; that he doesn't trust that the leg can support him. In any case, Buck lets Tommy pull him up from the chair, and raises his arm. Tommy knows what he's doing. He's solidly in Buck's armpit, holding on to Buck's hand, his other arm wrapped around Buck's waist. Slowly, they walk to the stairs. Unnecessarily slow, but it feels more secure that way. Tommy watches closely, as Buck holds onto the handrail. Together, they ascend the stairs and Buck is carefully lowered onto his bed.

Flatteringly, Tommy is still hard after all that.

”Take off your clothes.”

It takes a moment for Tommy to react. He looks around the space, and spots a place to put his clothes. He's efficient about it. He turns his back, but Buck figures it's about doing the task, not about purposely hiding his body.

”Do you want to take mine off, too?”

”Yes.”

Buck's autonomy is hard won and he's more than able, but the way Tommy handles him feels good. There's a reverence to it. Fleetingly, Buck thinks he wouldn't mind being worshipped for a little bit.

Tommy takes off his clothes, and helps him lie down. All his supplies are within easy reach, so when they're both naked, Buck urges him onto the bed. He puts his hands on his stomach, indicating the spot, ”I want you to straddle me.”

Tommy looks at himself, then Buck. ”You sure?”

”I can take you.”

Tommy's flush spreads down his chest, as he mounts Buck's torso. He's heavy, but nothing Buck can't handle.

Buck grabs a condom and hands it over. ”Put this on. I'm not cleaning up after you.”

Tommy makes a shaky little sound. He fumbles the condom a couple of times. First it falls from his fingers, then the wrapper won't tear, but he gets there. After the condom is on, he gives himself a tight squeeze at the base.

”Have you touched yourself before?” Tommy nods. Buck grabs the lube, then Tommy's hand. He squirts lube onto Tommy's fingers and holds onto his hand for a moment. ”Go slow. We've got time.”

Tommy nods again. When Buck releases his hand, Tommy reaches behind himself. Buck watches his face closely. His face doesn't say much, but he's sufficiently distracted. Buck is in the tail end of his meds. They don't always kill his sex drive, but he's slower than he used to be. Having Tommy on his stomach shields his dick from prying eyes, and makes Tommy's body more accessible to his hands.

Tommy's dick bobs between them and Tommy holds on to every word, so Buck is feeling pretty confident. He strokes Tommy's thighs, as lightly as he can. It earns him another shaky sound, as Tommy's thighs close around Buck's ribs.

”Getting somewhere?”

Tommy's arm stops flexing. He breathes for a second, before resting his hand on his thigh. Three of his fingers are glistening.

”Great job,” it lands a little more first responder, than dom, but it still makes Tommy shiver. ”My turn.” Buck grabs the lube and reaches behind Tommy's back. He shifts forward a little, making Buck's reach around less strenuous. He circles Tommy's hole, checking the tension, but he feels remarkably relaxed. Two fingers go inside easy.

”Alright, big guy – ” Tommy makes a sound and clenches up. Buck holds still and eyes him a little. He says it again, ”Alright, big guy, you wanna come before or after?” Tommy clenches again.

Tommy tries to breathe, but his whole body shakes on the exhale. ”I'm not sure I can choose.”

”Fair enough,” Buck says. He pushes the full length of his fingers inside, to see what happens. Tommy's knees dig into the sides of his ribs, and he stops breathing. He's more gentle as he pulls out.

With Tommy's eyes closed, Buck reaches for his own dick, checking the firmness. He's not all the way there, but he's close. It's good enough for now. He touches Tommy's thighs again, trying to get him present.

”Still up for it?”

Tommy nods. ”Please.”

Buck wipes his hand on his stomach, and grabs a condom and the lube. ”You get to do this part.”

Tommy blinks at the items. ”What?”

”Why would I do it myself when you're here?” He pushes them into Tommy's hands.

Tommy drops the lube. He would've dropped the condom, too, if the wrapper didn't stick to his sweaty chest. He climbs (falls) off Buck's chest and just stares at his dick for a bit. ”Can I touch?”

”Go for it.”

Tommy reaches out and curls his fingers around Buck's dick. Buck puts his hands behind his head and tries to not to say anything stupid. Tommy's hand feels good. As uncertain as he looks, his touch isn't. It's tight and warm. Tommy strokes him for a moment, just watching his own hand touch Buck. It's flattering.

Buck wonders what brought him here. Wonders why Tommy would rather pay for something like this, instead of going out and meeting someone. He's a handsome guy. Very polite. By all accounts he seems normal. Maybe a bit shy.

”Ready?”

Tommy huffs a little laugh. ”No.” He grabs the condom anyway. He knows what he's doing, but he's very particular about putting it on, as if putting a condom on someone for the first time is something worth remembering.

He does the same thing with the lube, then asks about Buck's leg.

”As long as you don't reach behind you and try to brace on my knees, you're fine.”

Tommy is careful when he swings his leg over Buck's lap. He keeps an eye on his own foot, careful to keep it away from Buck's leg. He hovers there for a second, above Buck. When nothing happens, Buck takes over.

”Put your hands here,” he pulls Tommy's hands to his own chest, wanting to feel the weight of him. Tommy leans forward, fingers spreading for better purchase. ”Sit, I've got it.”

Tommy looks at him warily, but lowers his body slowly. Buck uses both hands to find his target, without too much fumbling. He watched Tommy's face, as he sinks into his body.

Tommy is the one in control. Buck is lying flat on his back, he has very little leverage. Tommy turns his face into his own shoulder, hiding his expression, as he moves his hips back. When he's confident he won't slip back out, Buck moves his hands to Tommy's hips and waits it out.

Tommy's breathing changes. It comes a little faster, a little wetter. He moves one hand to his lower abdomen. He won't be able to feel anything, but Buck gets the sentiment. Sort of.

Tommy shifts a little and starts moving. It's a grinding motion, slowly back and forth. At first, he's barely moving at all, but he builds up to longer strokes, face still turned away.

Buck doesn't know what to do with it. They don't know each other, so he doesn't know what Tommy needs. He keeps his hands where they are, so Tommy can feel he's there. Most of Tommy's weight is balanced on one hand. As Tommy picks up the pace, Buck grunts a little. It makes Tommy look at him.

His eyes go round and he quickly plants a hand on the bed, on either side of Buck's shoulders. It brings their faces closer together. Neither one of them brought up kissing, at any point. Buck didn't think it would be relevant, but he wishes one of them did. He wants to kiss Tommy.

”How's it feel?”

”Good,” Tommy huffs a smile. ”Really good.” He moves a little faster for emphasis.

Maybe the pain meds are a good thing. Or maybe it's the lack of attraction to men. Whatever it is, it's keeping Buck's attention away from his dick, and on Tommy's face. It's a good face. Expressive, when he allows it to be.

Tommy rides him until he can't anymore. He keeps stopping, clenching, then going for a moment, then stopping and clenching again.

”You can come, if you want.”

Tommy scoffs. Shivers. Scoffs again. ”Then it's over.”

”That's how sex works.”

Tommy glares at him for half a second, before he trembles again. He hasn't touched his dick once.

Buck belatedly remembers he's supposed to be in charge. He grabs Tommy by the face and tells him to come. Tommy makes a wounded sound and somehow manages to keep eye contact, while he comes.

Buck is suddenly very aware of his own dick, and comes just moments later.

They blink at each other in surprise. Tommy smiles and Buck laughs. There's a pack of wet wipes somewhere, but Buck doesn't reach for it. Tommy carefully dismounts and lies down.

”Pretty good for a first time, right?” Buck asks, amused by the double entendre.

”If I could leave a review, you'd get a great one.”

”Aww,” he nudges Tommy in the side. ”Thank you, I appreciate that. Did we tick all the boxes, or do we need to meet again?”

So, Chim and Hen as the medical staff. Tommy as the helicopter pilot who does all the flying (to drop contestants in their remote areas, bringing in the med staff, picking up the people who “tap out”). Ravi as a camera and tech person. Bobby as the base camp commander.

The season I have in mind was set in the far north of Canada in the arctic circle. One thing they did this season is have a little retreat at the beginning for the contestants to get acclimated to the terrain and ease into the alone mindset. This is where we meet everyone in the show, including:

Buck, a transplant from Hershey, PA. Grew up neglected and semi-wild in the woods in PA before moving to Montana to work part-time on the ranch. Taught himself to fish and snare, but doesn’t bow hunt (a contrast to most other contestants). Says when he gets the money he wants to hire his sister a good divorce lawyer and buy some property out of state where her shitty husband’s influence can’t reach them.

Eddie is ex-army and he does use a bow. Growing up, his dad didn’t do much for their family (and in this verse he wasn’t as good a provider) so Eddie had to support his mom and sisters. Sometimes that support was in squirrels or, when they were lucky, deer to keep food on the table. Obviously he wants the money to give Chris a spot in a private school which specializes in CP (among other things) support and crazy good academics.

Sal is the cockiest of the group, also a hunter. He had to give up his wilderness ways to become a contractor when his gf (now wife) got pregnant and he chafes under the restrictions of a normal job. He wants to use the money to move their family off-grid, back to the wild he’s missed.

Lucy is one of only two women, she grew up with a pack of older brothers who taught her everything she knows about survival skills, hunting, fishing, woodcraft, but has since surpassed them in abilities. Now she’s teaching her nieces and nephews outdoorsmanship, when she’s not serving as a firefighter. (yes, one of them still gets to be!) She wants to use the money to start a foundation for disadvantaged youth to learn survival skills (like scouts on steroids).

Sue (yes, Sue!) is the oldest of the contestants, but she’s absolutely unflappable and has extensive foraging skills. She wants to be able to retire but still support her husband. He was injured in a car accident years before and can’t work, so she hasn’t been able to stop working herself.

And there’s five other contestants but they’re the first half that tap out and I’m not thinking up any more characters.

This pre-show camp is also where Tommy and Eddie hit it off so well. Buck gets jealous which results in some heated words, but no injuries. Tommy’s able to talk to Buck (but no kiss) and they spend the second half of the week absolutely inseparable. Tommy can’t get enough of the guy with the sunshine smile, the endless facts, and legs for days. Buck doesn’t know what he’s feeling, but he knows that Tommy is SO COOL.

When Tommy flies Buck out to his drop spot, Buck can’t even take in the aerial view of his home for the next few months, his eyes are glued to the pilot he can’t stop thinking about. 

He really can’t stop thinking about Tommy. Buck’s early on-camera monologues are charmingly meandering info-dumps about everything he’s learned about the area in preparation for the show, but there’s a lot in there about their helicopter pilot and why did Buck act like such an idiot when they were at camp. It takes a little while, and some dreams of kissing Tommy which he relates to the camera, before he works out that he’s bisexual. The revelation is one of the sweetest and funniest moments of the season. As the weeks go on, he starts turning inward and drops enough serious talk that viewers really start to hate this Doug character. He still spends a lot time daydreaming about getting to know Tommy. 

Meanwhile, each time Tommy has to take off as contestants tap out he’s so conflicted. He wants Buck to win, of course. He’s allowed to have favorites, okay? Buck definitely deserves the money. But if Buck taps out, then they could see each other again. See if that tension was really just nerves on Buck’s part. If Tommy’s alone (hah) in that excitement that fizzled up his spine whenever their eyes met.

Lucy taps when the loneliness gets to be too much. She grew up in a big family that’s gotten even bigger. She spends days at a time with a whole crew of firefighters. She joked that the solitude would be amazing after all that chaos, but she misses it fiercely. Eddie is medically removed for an obstructed bowel (something that actually happened on the show, not just a jab at him being full of shit). Sue never goes to bed hungry, she finds and stockpiles a mountain of berries, fungi, and roots, but never manages to catch any fish or rabbits. Her only protein for more than two months is three grouse she manages to shoot. It’s not enough and she taps with kidney pain brought on by malnutrition.

Sal and Buck make it much much longer than the rest of the group, and the last few episodes are back and forth between footage of each of them. Buck has an antagonistic but somewhat adorable relationship with a pine martin stealing his food, who he names Sassy, but when it gets cold enough for him to make a permanent ice chest (that he can freeze closed against scavengers), he really hits his swing. He has a really clever way to catch grouse using a snare at the end of a long pole which is surprisingly effective. Sal managed to shoot a moose early in the season, so he’s got food, but he runs out of the lard he’d rendered before the rest of the meat is finished and then he’s slowly getting protein poisoned. He spends a lot of time thinking about his wife and twin daughters and how he can do better by them. In the end, he has a really fulfilling growth arc and decides he’s learned everything he can from this experience, so it’s time to head back to his family.

Which means Buck wins.

The show does a cute thing where they set up one last med check for the winner (but don’t tell them it’s the last one), and bring a loved one out to surprise them. The crew tries so so so hard to get Maddie to come out for Buck, but her husband doesn’t let her get a passport and so it’s just Tommy, waiting in the bird for Chim’s signal to come tell Buck he’s won.

Tommy never forgets the smile on Buck’s (so thin, oh god) face. He’s thrilled, and humble, and Tommy’s scooping him up in a hug and before they know it they’re kissing in front of the camera and the crew and Hen and Chimney are both cheering their heads off (and Hen’s calculating how much the rest of the production crew owes her for winning this bet).

He's not sure what it is about today especially, but he's been wanting to grab Evan and make out with him more than usual. Getting to do more sounds perfect.

“Let's go,” Evan says, all but shoving him back and grabbing the water bottle. He also snags their backpacks and walks off the path and up the slope next to them, Tommy hot on his heels.

There's a tree partway up the slope that's got a nearly hollowed trunk trunk from an old fire, and Tommy yanks Evan inside and looks around the edge to make sure no one's come by while they were walking. It's clear, and he ducks back in to kiss Evan, pressing him against the smoothed wood.

“Should take you cruising, fuck you up against a tree and let anyone else think they've got a chance,” Tommy murmurs, untying the drawstrings on the hiking joggers Evan is wearing and pushing his hand inside to rub him through his underwear. He's already hard, and Tommy works to get him wet at the tip. It doesn't take much, not when Evan is pushed up against something and panting against Tommy's cheek.

“Y-yeah,” Evan pants, grinding against his hand. He tugs at Tommy's shirt and pulls it up, and Tommy tugs the front behind his head so he doesn't have to worry about taking it off completely. Evan laughs softly and pushes him back a little to get his mouth on one of Tommy's nipples, his fingers kneading Tommy's pec.

Tommy arches into the feeling and is about to fumble his own pants open when Evan’s hands get there first. He pulls Tommy's hiking pants down to his thighs along with his underwear and gets on his knees, looking up at him as he goes.

Instead of sucking him off, Evan spits in his hand and wraps it around Tommy's cock, stroking slowly. He jerks Tommy off while he mouths at his stomach and hip and the seam of his groin, breathing in deep there and shuddering happily. Tommy sees the bulge in his joggers and feels his mouth warer.

“Get your cock out, baby.” Tommy watches him pull his own pants down enough to do as he's told, and Tommy wants to taste him so bad. Evan’s cock is so fucking pretty and long. Pink at the tip like his lips, flushed darker past his circumcision scar, always wet when he's hard.

“Fuck, Daddy,” Evan groans before licking a line from between Tommy's balls to the tip of his cock. He sucks Tommy with extra spit until it's dripping down his chin and throat, and when he takes him so deep that Tommy has to dig his nails into his palms so he won't thrust, he tips his head back a little and looks up at him with glazed blue eyes.

Tommy reaches down and rubs his thumb across Evan's cheekbone, letting him set the pace. He does gently thrust into Evan’s mouth a few times and pants softly as Evan just takes it. He brings his other hand up to his pecs, squeezing before he pinches and tugs at one of his nipples.

He does hear chattering and a few laughs from down the slope, probably the small group of friends they'd bumped into at a rest point a couple miles back. They'd been nice, swapping recent trail stories until Tommy and Evan went ahead so the group could eat their lunch. One of the women had definitely been flirting with Evan, but Evan had been oblivious to it, choosing to tease Tommy about his reserve of biodegradable wipes instead while Evan dug through his bag for the sunscreen.

“Shh,” Tommy hushes as Evan sucks him. “They'll hear you.”

Evan's eyes roll back briefly, and Tommy watches him wrap both hands around himself. He knows Evan would be embarrassed to get caught in most situations, but the idea of it always makes him shiver and moan and leak even more precum. His boy is an exhibitionist through and through, it can't be helped and Tommy wouldn't try anyway.

He keeps sucking Tommy, not being as sloppy with it until the sound of the group fades into the distance. Then he's choking on him, working his mouth and throat and then his hand until Tommy's gripping his curls and cumming in his mouth. Evan pulls back, his tongue out to show Tommy the cum sitting on his tongue. Tommy swears and grabs his chin, bending to spit directly onto the mess.

Evan moans and swallows it all, pressing his face to Tommy's hip and finishing on the ground.

When Tommy pulls the wipes out of his pack a moment later, Evan laughs softly.

“Any complaints this time?” Tommy asks, passing one to him for his hands.

Evan kisses his hip and wipes his hands before Tommy helps him up. He nuzzles a kiss against his lips and smiles, cheeky and bright. “No complaints.”

—

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