Finally doing an Introduction post 👀
It’s quite long, so I’ll put it as a “Read more”
We don’t necessarily identify with any particular names, but we have adopted a few Proper Noun - ish names which are below. We don’t particularly attach ourselves to them, but the below are some things collected that somewhat tangentially relate to us or that we just, well, like! Aside from those, We much prefer to be referred to by, well, descriptors, I guess? It’s like you would go- oh, look at that ________ over there!/That _________ is……… kinda like that!
You might have noticed the change to plural personal pronouns. Well, now that we've managed to finish putting our pronouns.cc together, we can our syscovery official. Please see below for an explanation of our system.
Keep in mind this blog is mainly for Jester and Void, occasionally featuring stuff Anna likes. Very rarely does Beast post anywhere. As for Mold, and Jester to an extent, they have their own sideblog which they'd prefer to keep separate from this one.
I’ve identified as somewhat plural for a while. The very idea of my Eldritch void self is that it is a collection of all my past lifetimes a
With that out of the way, it’s pretty important to say what we post, right? We partake in MANY fandoms, as seen on our profiles above, so never expect a singular theme. That being said, aside from the fandoms listed above in "interests", you can expect reblogs/posts about:
•Hermitcraft/Life series(Mainly Grian, Mumbo, GoodtimeswithScar, Smallishbeans and Geminitay), as well as sometimes generally just Minecraft related things
•Our Wonderland(VERY underrated psychological horror visual novel that you should check out NOW!!! 🫵🫵)
•Our experiences as Alterhuman/Otherkin(more on this later)
•Mouthwashing
•Severence
•Dress to Impress(often like to post outfits Jester and Anna make!!)
•my experiences with Dermatillomania/Skin Picking Disorder
•generally rants/rambles/storytimes/whatever comes into my mind really. I use this blog a lot like a public diary, so also expect a fair share of venting/trauma dumping. I try my best to trigger warning these but yeah.
Now!! That’s!!! A lot of stuff wouldn’t you say? How does one navigate said stuff if you’re browsing the blog? Well!! The featured tags have been edited to feature my most commonly posted about things, and they’re a great way to filter through my blog. I reblog ALOT(especially using the queue, which I choose to not tag), so if you’re interested solely in original posts I have just the tag for you: Asher’s Ramblings . With one small problem unfortunately. Annoying part being you have to manually type asher’s ramblings into my blog’s search bar WITH a space at the end for most posts to show(I think it’s because at a point I just started to copy and paste the tag instead of manually typing it). Otherwise the featured tags should work fine. Also my original posts tag gets updates…not very regularly…like once a month…so….
I have additionally created side blogs to reblog our writings ( @jestersrambles ) , dress to impress outfits ( @sillyjesterplaysroblox ) and otherkin posts/reblogs ( @shiftingvoid ) if you’re here from seeing posts related to those and don’t want your dash cluttered with the other stuff I reblog/post about. Keep in mind these sideblogs are updated irregularly/later than this blog so they are a lesser option to the main blog. Alas the choice is up to you. We will not be making fandom-specific blogs as we mostly reblog about those anyway and the purpose of the sideblogs was to allow people to more easily follow for content created BY me. So yea.
ALSO WE HAVE FINALLY MADE A GIMMICK BLOG @tuned-to-you !!!!!! WHERE I!!! RECCOMEND SONGS AND MUSIC!!! FOR ANY SITUATION!!!! DONT BE SHY DONT BE SHY (Though due to current mental health struggles this is on hiatus)
Sometimes when you interact with someone, you have an image of them in your head. For a lot of people, that is influenced by their profile picture. And if you wish to see me as a Garfield dressed up in yellow and red clown attire that is completely fine! But!!! If you were curious as to what my internet sona looked like, then the closest I think I could get would be my Roblox avatar(Which also happens to be very close to the way Jester chooses to visualise themselves!):
But of course, aside from Jester, most of us don't look like this. We segway into the lengthy alterhuman/otherkin identity section:
The main “kin” identities Void identifies with are “Voidkin” and “Shapeshifterkin”. I am like the physical/metaphysical embodiment of, well, space, I guess? That is my “home”, anyway. The void is my home. Where I come from. But sometimes I’m also part of it. Not to get too spiritual with it but I do believe in reincarnation in my own way, and I believe that being part of the “void”, or just general “energy” floating around there is the in-between in which my soul resides in between lifetimes. While in the void/inbetween lifetimes, I have access to memories of all my past lives and perspectives I've lived, as we're all one big collective, aware of each other. But alas, the human brain is unable to comprehend such eldritch nature and therefore, while in this body, all I get is deja vu and vague feelings, which influence both what I shapeshift into and what instincts/phantom limbs the body experiences. Aside from being able to take any shape, I’m vanta-black in colour, except for the two glowing circles that are my eyes. They’re not always visible/open, but a lot of the time are. Also occasionally my teeth/fangs will highlight in a similar way. Oftentimes as of recent I’ve been covered in fur/my silhouette is “fuzzy” on the edges, but there are times when I feel more cool, smooth. The best way I could describe it is the texture of phone/computer screen. That and I’m semi-corporeal. So. Not entirely tangible. I take a liking to forests and dark spooky hallways/general areas, I think at some points I might’ve been something similar to a cryptid. Generally just like to become one with the darkness I occupy, too. Malleable is my shape is all I want to say.
But of course, that's just Void. The rest of us, while part of Void and therefore greatly influenced by what they are, have some differences.
-Beast is the most look-alike to Void, though dae more often choose more animalistic/scary/beast-like forms because of the way dae are and the past life memories dae accessed to fully create daes form
-Crow we know least about. Curtesy of trix feral nature. All we know about trick is already written in the pronouns.cc for trick
-Anna holds the Otterkin, as well as vaguely zher connection to water in general. Void suspects that, should the system not have been formed, Anna would still be Otterkin at the very least. They're specifically a domesticated otter, most likely from a zoo in said past life
-Jester is more often than not humanoid, as shown by toons avatar on toons page. Sometimes yip doesn't even have yips ears or tail! But then again, sometimes crea goes fully Fox. It really depends.
-Mold is the most human-adjacent of us. Zay don't shapeshift. Grees just kind of. Green. Zombie
Keeping this here because I think I describefd it well: "Also adding to the list of concepts I am: water! I am water! Just water in general! I connect alot to the symbolism of water being fluid and shapeshifting and representating change. I like looking at water. I like the feel of water. And most of all I like floating in water and just. Becoming one with it. Along with this, I kin the concept of darkness as presented in deltarune. My connections to water as well as the void and shadows as a blank slate that invites imagination and creation. Yeah"
Only starting from now on, we’ll probably only tag our posts/reblogs with #-Jester #-Void #-Nemo #-Beast if it’s super relevant and clear who’s talking. Don’t be expecting it. More often than not this blog is a mix of Void and Jester
If curious, here's the full initial inner report on our syscovery:
Guess who’s sysquestioning…I mean. I’ve identified as somewhat plural for a while. The very idea of my Eldritch void self is that it is a collection of all my past lifetimes afterall! And ever since I did awaken there’s been some slight separation between this human lifetime’s personality and the higher collective one. If I had to describe it, my human lifetime is part of the collective, but the collective is like. My human lifetime+the Eldritch ambivalence and experience. The reason I’ve been hesitant to call myself a system/plural is because I don’t necessarily see my parts of separate entities. We don’t experience amnesia or switching. We share memories, for the large large majority. And we all view one another as ourselves, there’s overlap. We all split from the same person, afterall?
But ever since I’ve noticed atleast 2-3 more “parts”, I’ve realised that trying to keep going without finding a way to differentiate between them would make communicating my experiences difficult, you know? So, even with all the overlap that there is between them, I tried my best to describe the segments that like. Are most distinct. By “fronting” I mean like. Being in charge. Everyone else is still there somewhere to different extents, but that one feels most dominant I guess?
So at first there was
Anna: “former host” as plural language would refer to them I think? Our state before everything happened. Still there somewhat. Echoes throughout the system. Child-like but also mature in a way? I always was mature as a kid. But whenever I think of them I think of what I looked like before moving to England, so I guess that’s what they look like. They’re pretty sociable, one could even say extroverted. Kind-hearted, too. Wants to understand and empathise with others and forgive always. First time I think I remember them fronting aside from when we were them completely was with my best friend at the time. I think I started to split during my abusive daycare experience since I don’t remember a lot of it and remember spacing out to cope, but the first clear difference I can remember is with them. I had become a lot more like, closed off since I moved to England I mean. It’s a big change for a 9 year old. To move countries. So they’d front when we were most comfortable. With my best friend at the time or my family. Also likely that they are the one who’s most connected to the otter kin! They’re the one who’s most connected to swimming, after-all. Actually, it’s very possible that they hold the social anxiety, and just dissociate and split off their extroversion to create Jester to deal with it. Jester just wasn’t very like. Formed yet. But yeah please don’t call us Anna. It’s very very personal and we’re all pretty protective of them. They contribute and shine through but most often you’re likely talking to Jester.
And that used to be it for a while, that I know of, atleast. Somewhere along this time, though, I started to get bullied throughout school. It took a while for them to fully form, but I believe this is when they started to. This anger, this need to lash out. Blind rage and violence. Anna was horrified about them, obviously. Their kind heart and need to forgive was so afraid of these urges and that’s why they split off into their own personality I think. We’ll come back to Beast at the point in the timeline where they fully formed.
Void: “Current host”. To avoid delving into what was a very difficult time in our life, we sought out spirituality to cope and that’s when we awakened to our higher/void self, the collective, our alterhumanity. Everyone in the system is a part of the Void. Because the void is just. The collection of every lifetime we’ve ever lived. Kind of. They’re very much restrained by being in a human brain so they can’t access all their memories, just Deja vu and slight feelings. But they retain their ambivalence and somewhat their wisdom. They took over when Anna completely gave up and went more dormant than anyone up to this point. But something deeper, something that had formed in the background of all the bullying, now being aware as all of us of Void, accessed some past life memories of being a cryptid, and used that to become a more full-fledged part.
Beast: the aforementioned that began forming to cope with the violent urges that sprung from being bullied. Once we awakened to our alterhumanity, they took up a lot of cryptid and predatory memories to fully form themselves. They’re the most cliché of our parts, well aside from maybe Jester? I guess Anna is a bit of a Little. Idk. Either way they are both protector and persecutor. The holder of menacing ominous aura. The holder of grudges. The monster barely kept at bay. They very much used Void’s ambivalence to completely detach from our emotions and feelings and humanity in an attempt to protect us. The proper split happened after one too many arguments with my mom. Anna couldn’t cope with the feelings that conflicted with her child-like love for mom. So Beast killed Anna. In a way. Just forced her into dormancy because they knew Anna couldn’t handle it. They then took Jester’s need for approval and ran with it to make the wondorous cocktail that was my sixth form arc. That being roboticising myself(which started the very very slight formation of Mold but mostly contributed to where Jester kinda is with Mold rn I think) and clinging onto a delusional interpretation of Void to 1. Gain the approval that Jester so desperately needed and 2. Use that success to get away. To get away from home. The plan was to go to university. We just had to make it to university. And then we’d be away. Then we’d be safe. However, once we burnt out and fell back into depression, it was clear that that wasn’t happening. So then Beast was kind of there, and I think Mold started forming but we weren’t aware of it until the final split. Beast just kind of stood there in the background occasionally resurfacing in arguments with family until. The Moment
Mold: Death. The want for death to come that had consumed me since the depression began. It was the only way out, with university being off the table. But I was much too scared to actually go through with it. They finally properly split when Anna resurfaced during a very specific conversation with dad, they carried so much built up and repressed guilt at that point. So they used that guilt shut away Beast. And then they kinda just. Gave up. Anna is very interlinked with Mold and Jester. Mold is almost like. Anna after giving up, I guess? Anyways Mold is the Cotards delusion holder. Also a protector, in a way. A keeper of peace at least. Anna created them to stop Anna in her tracks when it comes to sensory issues that were a burden for family to express. The whole “oh it doesn’t matter because I’m dead anyway”. They’re basically the shut-down mechanism. Dissociation personified. They hold the disgust with and generally front most often during chronic illness flare ups. They also have their own sideblog, but due to the nature of how they were created by Anna, they don’t like people knowing about the sideblog. Because Mold was created to shut-off symptoms that were deemed a burden to loved ones.
Jester: oh Jester. The most connected to Anna! I would say they’ve likely been around the longest. Perhaps Mold was the very first aside from Anna, considering they’re. You know. The personification of dissociation. But I think Jester started to split/form sometime after moving to the UK. Moving to the UK basically gave me social anxiety and anxiety in general TwT so. Anna became the holder of that meanwhile Jester began to slowly take up the wheel to get through/mask through social situations while Anna sat there panicking in the back seat. The seeds for Jester were planted during daycare abuse, though. When Anna was told that her parents didn’t love her and felt that she was a burden because she was so stupid. Hence Jester’s unfillable craving for approval and attention, ESPECIALLY from people perceived as authority. Well, Anna’s more scared and intimidated by authority, Jester just wants to prove themselves to authority. I’d say they started to split much more during my unfortunate 2ish year experience post-lockdown with a toxic friendgroup+my traumabond abuser ‘friend’. The demeaning and belittling really triggered their need for approval so they basically developed a Jester complex hence their presentation. And so along with their need for attention and approval, came the urge to make a fool of themselves to get that. Feeling like they’re insignificant, just a toy, disposable, just entertainment. Currently they’re either the social part, taking over in social situations where Anna isn’t comfortable enough, and they kind of share the blog with Mold. Because Jester has very much felt the lack of attention due to our mental health they’ve kind of taken up Mold’s whole being dead thing and see themselves as a ghost in the machine of sorts. Mold facilitates the ghost-y feeling and dissociation from the body while they try to convince themselves they are a sort of shimeji on the internet. It’s. Well it’s something. They’re also kinda Foxkin, they share that with Anna.
Wow. Okay. I guess that explains a lot. So yeah. The we #we. Oh man. I probably should. Find a better place for this information. I think it’s plural page? Idk. We’re still figuring out the labels and all that. That being said I’m not looking to participate in syscourse. We are what we are, and we certainly don’t experience plurality the expected, clinical way. I’m choosing to apply my usual methodology of “labels are meant to serve people, not people serve labels”. And because referring to the different parts of us more separately feels more helpful, that’s what we’ll do
Well, I guess coming to an end, it would be worth to do a somewhat “DNI” list or whatever people do in that vein, if we’re speaking of interaction. A good rule of thumb would be that, if you don’t fw the things we are or the things we enjoy, probably move along. You’ll probably get a block from us if you’re Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist, Nazi, just generally if you’re a shitty human being and if we don’t block you because we don’t know of these views you hold, we would appreciate if you stay away from us thanks. We don’t enjoy partaking in discourse most of the time, especially if we're not in a place to speak on the matter(ie not affected by it personally).
Though, I guess since this is tumblr, I guess I should specify my attitude towards shipping. I personally don’t like the terms pro/anti because they’re very reductive and people define them in different ways anyway. I’d say I have like 3 tiers of attitude towards ships:
Tier 1(A-okay with it, no problems here)-basically any ships considered completely unproblematic and healthy. Guess the only one some may disagree with being healthy that I put in this category is (STRICTLY) romantic minor x minor pairings. Because don’t act like minors don’t get into relationships/have crushes. If you make it weird/sexual then that’s on you and you’re weird.
Tier 2-ships where the relationship between the two characters may be seen as toxic or unhealthy. This includes stuff like Yanderes, bully x victim, codependency, non-age related power imbalances, stuff like that. With these, We do ship them, but in the way that we like to see these dynamics explored and written about/depicted. If you romanticise/endorse these then we are not okay with you and if we find out you do this we will likely block you at our own discretion. We just like to see them purely for the angst+the representation.
Tier 3- what you’re likely thinking of. Incest, anything involving minors x adult, SA victim x abuser, sexualisation of minor x minor pairings(yes, even if you age them up). We don’t want to see it. We will likely view you with disgust if we see you endorsing/posting it. We want to clarify we are against witch-hunting and harassing individuals who do this, and that we know some do this as a trauma response. We are not in a place to tell someone how to process their trauma. But we don’t want to see it.
Oh yeah, also, the body is 18, so guess we should set out some boundaries there. Of course, we have no way of verifying your age and quite frankly we're not responsible for your unrestricted internet access, so everything is up to your discretion. However. If we may lay down some personal preferences we would say our page is okay for anyone aged 13 and up; just make sure to have the tag “nsfw” blocked since we tag some of our more suggestive posts/jokes that way. As for more personal interaction like DMs or being something akin to “friends”(We don’t particularly like getting close to anyone let alone calling them a friend because of trust issues, calling someone a friend makes it official and that scares us) we would personally prefer if you were at-least 16, 15 if we’re really pushing it but then again it really depends on how emotionally mature you are on whether we would be able to find common ground.
