#-void

Lots of frustration going on here. Jester is fixated on manifesting that things get better but in doing so is very adamant about not thinking about anything thats wrong because acknowledging it goes against “the mindset”. At the same time I’m here with the prior wisdom that letting Mold do their thing and channel our everyday load into venting for a bit is EXACTLY what gave Jester the lee way to front recently. I try to explain to Jester that whatever we want to be true, is, and that letting ourselves feel our negative feelings isnt setting us back but well. Very stubborn.

As much as I, being in a human vessel, enjoy the human urge to sort myself and other things into boxes and labels, it does hit me that like. As much as we like and feel that we reflect certain Dread Powers it’s really the concepts behind them that we actually embody. The very fact of being an avatar of a dread power is that they feed on the FEAR of that thing. And I don’t want that at all. I want to embody the endless opportunities that The Vast holds, the freedom. And that intersection of freedom between that and The Dark. How one can be anything in the dark, unperceivable, undefined. Can it be a little maddening? Of course. But it’s the kind of madness that empowers. That frees you. Become untethered

Explodes into a mess of pitch black viscera

ANTS IN MY ROOM :(((( ‼️‼️‼️

Being enveloped in eldritch darkness doesnt have to be scary you know. We can. Hang out

I think self-hypnosis/robotic affirmation might just be what works for me. I tried it just once yesterday and already had a dream that was lucid. It was so fucking fun too I got to like ACTUALLY fly/float not like the kin feels Crow gets during some dreams I mean ACTUAL levitation which was so surreal omg