Are ya winning, thrum?

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

i wholeheartedly support the growing ‘aroace ryland grace’ and ‘monsterfucker ryland grace’ communities and at the same time i do have to recognize that if carl the government guy was white that would notttt be the vibe within that fandom

when you compliment or thank someone for being such a good friend to you and they hit you with the "i'm going to totally betray your trust soon and you're making it really difficult not to feel conflicted about it" stare 😂😂

the thing is you gotta milk these relationships for all they're worth because when you're a dog that's going to be euthanised soon in someone's eyes there's almost nothing they won't do for you however ☝️ you may struggle to get them to put aside their ethical hangups to have sex with you. in case you were wondering.

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

does writing fanfiction count as art

don't make me say the mummy thing again

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy