Dean "Is" Home

Newsflash. No man needs a bitch telling him to eat rabbit food and nagging him constantly.

My dude, you got this backward; welcome to the modern era, we have careers, money, we buy our own houses and cars, and we have easy access to a selection of vibrators our ancestresses could only dream of.  Companionship is great and everything, but as many of us discovered, it comes in many forms.

"Since the Army is not subject to local minimum wage laws, Seattle pay now outstrips what locals could earn by signing up for the Army. $15 per hour is not only more than the base pay for privates, but corporals and specialists as well."

-Newsweek

Then talk about whatever it is that’s making them uncomfortable. I ask god to protect all the lgbt+ kids that are lost, isolated or homeless. I mention my non-Christian brothers, sisters, and siblings that have to fight for recognition and respect in a monoreligious nation. I pray for the protection of immigrants and refugees, reminding my evangelical friends that their savoir was once one of that number. You can pray for pregnant mothers to find the resources and abortive care that they need, if they need it, if you’re feeling particularly brave.

This achieves two things: 1) there is no response to this, esp if you wrap it up with “amen, thank you guys so much for doing that with me. I hope y'all have a blessed day” and leave them no room to continue the prayer. But more importantly 2) that group will NEVER bother you again and you will show them, using their own method against them, that their prayer isn’t an act of faith, but of power.

On the third day of the festival, the food ran out. Another major crisis was averted when food was charitably provided by locals in the nearby small town, out of their own pantries. The locals received nothing in return for this. Boomer-produced media portrays this as an example of a community "coming together" and "sharing", some even use Woodstock as evidence that socialism works, referring to Woodstock as a temporary self sustaining country.

After the festival was over, the farmer's fields were completely destroyed and covered in a sea of trash. A rainstorm the previous day has destroyed many young boomers' belongings, and they had responded by leaving the destroyed items on the field while they went off to live the rest of their lives, reminiscing about the love, peace, and community they had experienced at Woodstock for decades to come.