IT'S GETTIN' A LITTLE MAGICAL UP IN HERE

So far I’ve got

ladder letters: A, E, F, H, T

humpback B’s and P’s get as many bumps as you think they need

circle O’s, you just keep spiraling in til you feel like you’ve made your point

tree letters branch into smaller versions of themselves ad nauseum: X, Y

spider Q’s, so many legs

New alphabet dropped!

But I think i’ve taken a real shine to it! 

ELVEN HALF-RACES

Homebrew for all of the elven half-races possible with races from the PHB! Time to throw the boring old human half-elf out of the window! This was made for 5e. Open images in new tab for better quality. Have fun playing, and feedback is much appreciated!

Fear not, the Afflicted Vampire (2.0)

(and some Blood Magic Feats)

Alright folks, I know i’ve been rather absent since the whole Tumblr Apocalypse thing, but here’s some Proof that I haven’t just been sitting on My Ass:

Announcing The Oracle!

A couple Months back, while I was working on the Mutophage, I had the idea stroke me of trying to play DND using a Deck of Tarot Cards in place of dice. Seemed like a silly idea, but as it happens sometimes, it stuck. I had seen a few classes out there that tried to make use of a deck of tarot cards in same way. but in most cases it was something along the lines of “I play this card to cast this spell” and felt more like a TGC than like reading tarot. I wanted to make something more integral. The Oracle is My take on support-centric class. By reading and manipulating fate, they are able to change the tide of battle, granting boons to their allies, and casting certain doom on their foes. This class is built from the ground up with the intent of feeling like an actual tarot reading when played. Having read tarot for almost 15 years, I worked to make sure that everything flows naturally in the same way as an actual reading, and in a way that won’t upset your deck. In fact, I designed the class to work as a great exercise in getting to know a new deck, or just learning the essentials tarot in the first place. If you love DND, and you enjoy Reading Tarot, you should definitely give it a read.

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

Corrections have I made, with good intent, And say up front that insult is not meant To @beradan​, whose wit begat thys work. I pray, good people, think me no such jerk.

*******

A netwyrk choice was made and tally given oute To wrinkled Rudy, who responded with a shoute. “All of them?” quoth he, in voice of disbelief; “Why then, each vote was casted by a thief!” Yet many citizens do both dance and singe, And praise Four Seasons Total Landscapinge. No better setting could be found in Pennsylvania For one infected with a demagogick mania To learn that interference with the Mail Proves in the end to be of no avail.

*******

Continuing my series about the recent wildfires that turned our sky red. I noticed in my past posts a lot of people think this is caused by stupid gender reveal parties. Gender reveal caused 1 fire, but the other 650 fires were caused by an unprecedented dry thunderstorm.

I’ve lived in CA for over 20 years and I’ve never seen thunderstorms in August during drought season. Unlike other parts of the world, the normal climate in CA doesn’t get storms until winter. This storm is the remains of Tropical Storm Fausto which caused over 11,000 lightning strikes resulting in over 2 million acres burned, turning our sky red like the apocalypse.  

This is what climate change looks like. Not some stupid gender reveal caused by the mistakes of a few, but the collective consequences of us all failing to protect the only home we have. The least we can do is accept reality instead of living in denial. No matter how bad it is now, it will get even worse if we continue to do nothing.