i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery

^ surgeon whose rare and sickly pet lizard only eats human testicles

mfs be like "are you single or taken" and like technically im single but that implies that im availible, which i most definitely am not so yes im taken. im taken by me. you cant have me.

Good bitch, I'm glad none of your people have an ounce of loyalty to you

does that suck, mark? is it not fun to have your privacy violated? do you feel uncomfortable with people knowing things about you that you'd rather they not know? tell me more about how much you value your security and privacy, mark.

bdsm enjoyers r onto something. i think we should incorporate aftercare into just hanging out. i need a buddy to hold me and say “that was really fun and you seemed normal”

this would be perfect actually

obligatory reblog of this after I forgot to bookmark them (again)