the worm in tham n0phis’ brain @accursed-worm - Tumblr Blog

Original post by @morallygrayautisticscientist here, this post was so funny I decided to draw it lol.

Panel by panel below:

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qqchurch

compiler-specific

No, we don't need to get "regular porn" back on this website. I mean, sure it should be permitted, but esoteric bizarrely sensual videos of industrial processes & oozing goops which challenge the very notion of "pornography" are actually far superior to the derivative drivel from profit-oriented studios like Brazzers and Bang Bros

no need for tags this'll find its audience

feather-ball

Unironically I've come to love tumblrs surreal exploration of the erotic and explicit in the face of a draconian ban on adult content.

The Machine That Will Eat Your Hand crushing fifteen cans of paint captures more of a primal sexual feeling than I could ever get from standard porn

charliechapstix

I get where you coming but we actually do need "regular porn" back on this website.

The framing here is of a binary between industrial, transgressive, nudity-free erotica and profit-oriented studio pornography; when most of the porn being made today sits entirely between those two axes. Sex workers who are making the shit studios would never do, the ones who are doing it for rent, and yeah even ones who are making lame boring shit. That's "regular porn". Those are the people who fucking lost to tumblr porn ban. Brazzers didn't lose a dime.

I think unless we are able to express our bodies without shame or censorship, you're not actually challenging anything. Videos of machine eating paint cans isn't transgressive, it's allowed. Tumblr and it's shareholders are perfectly happy for you to get off to goop because that's not what stops their advertisers from pulling out.

I don't think adding "we need regular porn" to posts is funny. it's annoying and uncreative. But more importantly I think it's completely wrong in the idea that the bizarre and sensual only develops in (or as a consequence of) an absence of other outlets. In fact I'd argue its worse. We were almost on the cusp of recognising that pornography isn't defined by big studios, I remember it! and then tumblr annihilated anything but them from their ecosystem. And look at the culture here since then, its dry, puritanical, and utterly hostile. We've been set back almost 10 years of gross, esoteric weird fucking porn. Or at the very least, it wasn't and isn't happening here.

You're can't challenge the notion of pornography without sex workers. We need regular porn back.

were--ralph

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

were--ralph

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

were--ralph

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

were--ralph

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

were--ralph

exactly

just-shower-thoughts

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

savvygunner

violetnpurple

LISTEN-

bl6ckwoman

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

antiandrogen

teamnowalls-deactivated20180918

father god

abrown16

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

antiandrogen

ethereal-sketches

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

britteryikes

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

laurdlannister-kingslayer

Lord have mercy….

kumasenpai

Bye

mf-johnson-deactivated20190605

3 days into 2018 smh

kwantsu

LMAOOOOOOO

effigyofubiquity-deactivated202

lizzysarai-deactivated20190109

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

britteryikes

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

thxrsdxy

It keeps getting worse.

e-wifey-deactivated20201128

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

ellsworthej

goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20

My head hurts…

skullprincess

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

drankinwatahmelin

who failed yall?

microtear-deactivated20181213

IM SCREAMING

lukestarkillerisgay

hey-hey-shutthefuckup-deactivat

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

shaolinbynature

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

emma-d-klutz

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

legowerewolf

happy New year’s eve

prguitarman

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

majitowfoxlover

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

hurleyquinnzel

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

untitled42717

Reblogging for the last one😂

kitsumekat

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

alternative-memo-deactivated202

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

binkeljuice

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

hurleyquinnzel

mysticalpoodle

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

im-an-aesthetic-mess

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

fish-food-s

what the actual fuck is happening

dickplinko

1 is an even number

link-the-feral-anon

I’m gonna smack you

insert-gay-pun-queer

-30 and -50 have an e in them

kurlyfryz

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

anachronistic-cat

Zero isn’t a number

kurlyfryz

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

toaster-120

It can??? 0/2=0??

kurlyfryz

baconaxolotl101

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

batsdotjpg

OD numbers huh?

the-kleptomancer

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

batsdotjpg

YOU FORGOT 5

ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

batsdotjpg

What about it?????

ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

batsdotjpg

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

frogseyy

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

getinthehandbasket

21 days away from 2020, folks.

charledcorn

I remember seeing this on Pinterest before I got tumblr… the scared texts

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baked-fish

I hate to say "some of you don't go outside," but fucking Christ, dude

hunbunqueen

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

baked-fish

Girl, what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?

drysqu1d

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

reisartjunk-deactivated20181217

trying to explain english to an italian

querulousglare

Almost as bad as French.

supreme-leader-stoat

With French you’re only ever one omitted article away from an obscenity.

rohirric-hunter

Just like how in English anything can be an obscenity if you try really hard and believe in yourself

catchymemes

pro-gay

people reblogging this talking about the english language. fuck the english language. the fascinating thing here isn’t how you pronounce it, it’s his amazing teaching skills. monolingual people be quiet for once challenge

geocaprican

I really felt and shared her “Wow”

rainformation

formative years? aren’t they all?

absolutejamer

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

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snowstories

My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.

Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?

What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?

Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.

mossbear-minese

I don't remember where I saw this piece of advice so I can't credit it, unfortunately

But it was along the lines of "instead of asking whether something is out of character, ask 'what would it take for this character to do this'"

Which I think fits really nicely with this advice of making the actual action itself also feel in character

wizardarchetypes

No more sleeping with my phone within reach because I was having an extremely vivid dream that I was the victim of some sort of mass-poisoning. the notorious poisoner? "The Centipede Cult." They used a specific type of poison, referred to only by its chemical nomenclature, which I somehow remembered perfectly upon waking. It went: □□ Na({}^{2})

Because that makes sense. Anyway, this poison would submit me to its well-known and much-feared symptom: "17 Day Paralysis" in which you're paralyzed for exactly 17 days and you only chance of survival is to be on full machine support for 17 days.

Just before the medical team intubated me I remembered I have a Zoom meeting with my academic advisor today (I actually do in real life) and I needed to email him to let him know I was the victim of a mass-poisoning and would need to reschedule.

I kept trying to type the "□" symbol in my dream but could not figure out how and gave up.

I woke up in real life to find I'd begun drafting an email in my sleep to my professor in the Gmail app. I was apparently using talk-to-text (I often do because of my hand neuropathy) but speaking in Irish, which talk-to-text never understands, so other than the words in English "poison" and "centipede" the entire email was complete nonsense.

wizardarchetypes

I told my advisor about this and he said, "well, if you had been poisoned, I would have provided you whatever academic supports available to us."

draconym

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

nyaa

“omg you’re just blogging for attention”

and you’re blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?

geekandmisandry

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

glitteringhellspawn

I saw this while looking for refs on Pinterest and it’s so funny I’m gonna throw up

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taylortut

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript

taylortut

reblogging one of my most underrated posts: the dying dog test

the-last-teabender

I’m gonna make my medical school advisees do this on their application essays too I think.

darkcomedies

sometimes the author’s barely disguised fetish is YOUR barely disguised fetish and has nothing to do with the author at all

darkcomedies

hey so a bunch of people have taken this post as an opportunity to decry interpreting media sexually/suggestively at all and it’s pissing me off. joining the war on eroticism on the side of eroticism. #ThatCigaretteIsAPenis

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the worm in tham n0phis’ brain