the worm in tham n0phis’ brain

hi. i wasn't originally going to comment on this because i believe that people can express their opinions on the internet freely, but this got on my nerves and i want to address it.

to be clear. i do not hate fun nor do i hate whimsy. i only point out the prevalence of bloodymary not because "i hate crossovers" or "i hate that they're kissing". firm believer in ship and let ship. i only point it out because there is such a thing as "internalized bias" that can manifest in things like "ableism", "misogyny", "antiblackness" and an even rarer "aro/acephobia" believe it or not.

what i've found with bloodymary is that a lot of the time it exists to the exclusion of rocky (stated to be on the spectrum), for the opportunity to villainize stratt (woman), and to the complete removal of carl (black man). Beyond that, there seems to be a wider trend of disregarding grace's own opinions on romance, even if the aroaceness is a widespread headcanon.

yes shipping is fun. yes fandom is fun. yes fanfiction is for fun yes fanart is for fun yes headcanons are for fun. yes yes fun, i get it, i'm right there with you. fuck, i make fanart. i write fic. i'm there.

however, let's take a look at a couple of numbers here, pulled from ao3 as of today (5/27/2026).

wow! bloodymary almost has the same number of fics as gracerocky!

why is the instinct to ship grace with a man jumping to a character outside of the canon of the story? why is the number of grace/carl fics so low? why not ship grace and rocky? why is there even a need to ship grace with someone at all?

why does a lot of the fan content for bloodymary involve demonizing stratt and getting simon to hate her? why do people almost entirely remove rocky from these storylines? is it really that hard to write stratt? is it really that hard to write rocky??

when you act like these trends "aren't that deep" you make fandom unsafe and deeply unfun for people. Shipping isn't the end of the world. Hell, your carelessness and refusal to engage constructively with the community isn't the end of the world. It's really just a drop in the bucket of how to make a community that isn't fun to be in.

Being written by a cishet white man.

Ah! Jokes! But seriously, that is actually part of it lol

Grace's worst: he never shuts up. Asocial tendencies. Devalues himself while also aggrandizing himself and yes it's very contradictory and annoying. He's just like that. He's avoidant. Of responsibility and risk, personal and professional. But he wants to be rewarded for being special, and he wants to be liked, so this leads to him being flaky. He wants to be in control, but fears the responsibility, so he prefers others to take the lead while resenting and envying them. He has a deep seated drive to be correct, and always has to get the last word- relationships and his academic career suffer here. If he believes he is right, you are not convincing him otherwise. He is very focused on his own life and rarely reaches out to others. He's entitled and often inconsiderate of other's emotions, and tends to prioritize only himself. He likes to use humor to diffuse situations and deflect problems, even at really inappropriate times. Related: he cannot read a room for shit, so that makes him oblivious. Willingly so, in my opinion, which would also make him a liar, but this is up for debate (he is a biased narrator of his own life lol). He has cowardly tendencies, basically. Holds a grudge over perceived and real slights for decades. He lashes out when angry and yells a lot. In the movie, he breaks things. Also he eats diner food for breakfast every goddamn day. What the fuck. How do you afford that as a teacher! Buy some groceries! Learn to use a frying pan!!!!!!!! good GOD man

Grace's best: Huge softie! He's very sensitive and he's not afraid to appear vulnerable or weak or show emotions like sadness! He is very curious and willing to learn new things. His intellect is pretty vast- he's smart, well rounded in a lot of subjects, and he's funny. Goofy. Silly. He makes people laugh. He has a very disarming personality and comes off as charming to many. People like him (when he actually spends time with them). When he actually lets himself connect with others, he deeply cares for them and overcomes his most antisocial tendencies (for the most part). He's usually kind and often accommodating (when he likes the person). Has a knack for unconventional problem solving, as well as arts and crafts. He's impulsive and quick acting when he's given a problem he believes he can solve. He really is a good teacher, and he loves teaching kids. He would make a really good uncle.

Rocky's worst: BOSSY. Controlling. Impatient, demanding, often brusque to the point of rudeness. Short temper. Mean humor. High maintenance social needs. Clingy. Oftentimes dismissive of human issues and comfort. This is worse in the book and played for laughs a lot, but Rocky has a really hard time dealing with the reality that Grace is Human, the fallibility of Grace's mind, and the concerns Grace has about his quality of life. (I feel terrible for saying this bc it's not his fault but) he is unimaginably lonely and deeply traumatized and not dealing with it, like. at all. Or at least not in healthy ways. This seeps into every part of him. He's a workaholic and he keeps busy so he's not distracted by his perfect memory of his various traumas. He's impulsive. And secretive. He does not give out personal information without cause and even with cause he stays clandestine about it. You are never getting a straight answer out of him if you've pissed him off recently, either. And I like to believe that Movie Rocky lies for fun. just because. To fuck with Grace.

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Coffee shop AUs are, like... fine. They're not my thing, but they're hardly going to end the world. We don't need to have a moral panic about people enjoying coffee shop AUs. I'm also not about to come for anyone seeking escapism in the current hellscape.

However, I do think it's interesting to examine the tendency within these AUs to project a sort of idyll onto the coffee shop: here is a whimsical place where you can spend time with your friends and potentially meet your true love; here is a world where the greatest dilemma you may face is choosing the right coffee syrup for a new beverage or sneaking your number onto that to-go cup without being obvious.

The fantasy of the coffee shop AU is divorced almost entirely from the reality of an actual coffee shop. There are no abusive, creepy customers or bosses; there is no mention of the barista's wages; we don't see the dishwasher sweating at their station, the cashiers' aching feet; the person whose job it is to clean the (customer-only?) toilets. These topics are Political and Depressing and Must Be Avoided, because Political and Depressing things are antithetical to this kind of escapism.

The coffee shop AU exists, not in a world without capitalism (because this is a setting where commerce is actively happening) but in a world where capitalism has no teeth: a world where capitalism somehow works. In order to be convinced and soothed by this fantasy, you must suspend your disbelief and avert your eyes. You must filter the coffee shop through a neopastoralist lens.

This is a form of backdoor bigotry from both normative facts (there are more straight than gay relationships) and well represented bigoted beliefs (men are superior to women).