all hail the useless ones

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

when a character is referred to by their last name 99% of the time in the source material but you realize you've started mentally referring to them on a first-name basis that's when you know you're fucking cooked

writing a fic from the POV of literally the only character to call them by their first name in canon does not exactly help avoid this. by the way

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving