happy month, fellow slurs.

Markiplier does on the surface seem like an odd choice for directing and starring in a serious scifi horror movie, but in terms of getting scared at a computer screen and dying badly in space, his resume is remarkably stacked.

when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

And you are older than them

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

Petition for a comic that’s just the Joker vs. a bunch of frighteningly competent normal arse clowns who have gone temporarily vigilante for the sole purpose of taking the Joker down for his repeated violations of the clown code.

since i doubt the joker ever copyrighted his makeup with a clown egg, they’re all wearing his ‘face’ 

“What are you so mad about, Joker? We’re technically not in costume; it’s not like this is a clown’s face. Show us a clown with this and we’ll respect his use of it.”

Please someone mock up a page of Joker running terrified through a hallway, as a dozen clowns chase him, all chanting “SHOW US YOUR EGG”  and Batman just watching from security monitors like “Huh. Thats new.”

Why is this post coming back, I thought it had died. I don’t even care about the Joker. I blame @chainsxwsmile-personal ‘s comic for continually bringing this back into my notes.

and i'm not even living la vida loca

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?