Just a Good Old Fashioned Bean Boy, thats me

I do fucking love Ranni so much, hilarious character. Steals death to kill her half brother. Discards her original body to look like a cute little blue doll instead. Lies to the Tarnished, who presumably just arrived in the country and who none of this means anything to, about her name for some reason. When confronted later, immediately brazenly admits she lied to you, and also that she's the one who had Godwyn assassinated, which somehow no one had figured out before. Sees through the Tarnished and Rogier's plan immediately, but still lets them work for her (because "there's nothing wrong with a well-laid scheme", but is it really that well-laid if you already know what our goal is?). Says shit like "I shall soon enter my slumber". Literally turns into a pocket-sized version of herself and gets so fucking pissed off when you see through that "disguise". You can marry her in game, and she'll give you a sword for it. Did I forget anything

She’s even funnier in Elden Ring’s cinematic trailer where she’s all like “Oh golly, I sure do wonder who orchestrated Godwyn’s assassination” like it wasn’t her who orchestrated said assassination.

Did some cable management, now Ricky shouldnt be able to take out our internet anymore by sitting on specific cables

im in a cent

war is one of the most classic things to monger, along with fear, fish, and whores

Where’s the Hunter S Thompson we’re at war now quote Bring me the Hunter S Thompson we’re at war now quote

you know back then they didn’t use to romanticize the past

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

let's use this post for something good. if you are considering being annoying in my notes, please instead consider donating to gaza soup kitchen. thanks!

cultural exchange

Imagine unexpectedly popping up in Valhalla with your pants around your ankles because just half a minute ago you were taking a shit so bad that the Viking gods decided that it should count as dying in battle.