Luxfox

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

#we can't afford to see a physician but we do get to see the hat man (via @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier)

this is how everyone on this website acts

Thats not true i dont think i act like this

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

crawling sound

crawling sound

crawling sound

crawling sound

can you turn the lights back on man

once in high school i was walking down the hall at a brisk pace wearing dress pants and boxers and my (home made!! with nylon stockings + condoms + gak) packer just fell out of my leg and rolled down the hall a little ways and thankfully the only other person in that hall at that time was mr. hayes, the weird stoner english/philosophy teacher who rode his bike around the halls sometimes, and he literally just looked at me and said “i HATE when it does that” and walked away

Planet Suckulon 5 has declared war on Earth

Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one