God's strongest hater

"but if the potions in l'manberg were Literally Exactly The Same as the potions everywhere else, then why would sapnap pretend to be a police officer and arrest them?"

I mean Wilbur and Tommy were a couple of shitty con artists just trying to exploit other people's gullibility (mostly unsuccessfully) to steal all their brewing stands and create a monopoly, but that doesn't even bother me that much. It was the Dream SMP, pretty much everybody was a petty scoundrel in one way or another from what I could tell, and they weren't even successful so who cares. It does kinda undermine the whole noble cause narrative a bit though when, y'know, they just tried to pull a third rate scam, failed miserably, and got the cops after them. That's not exactly the most inspiring story out there, that's just taking an L.

c!Wilbur's greatest success was managing to get people to forget what him and Tommy had been trying to do and only focus on the persecution afterwards.

this insistence that Names Have Power above actual action, actual law, and actual individual strength is Even More Absurd than trying to insist that l'manberg was evil because it was started by a drug den.

if we're putting everything in context, wilbur called himself the "president" because he liked hamilton. he did not, in any way shape or form, instate a form of government that is comparable to america.

what he did was declare himself the leader between himself, tommy, and tubbo, and then later on recruited fundy and eret. their meeting room was a hot dog van and they didn't even have a physical flag until the war was over.

"oh they were Obviously just two guys running around causing a bit of harmless trouble, but the moment one of them gave themselves an official label they were Basically Indistinguishable From An Authoritarian Regime. unlike the greater smp, which only established as a monarchy and backed with the blood of the dissenters. wilbur the fish fucker called himself President you see. total irrefutable evil."

let's look at the actual Rules that wilbur established with his presidency that've gotten him labeled an authoritarian and a tyrant:

1: [Link] The citizens must be free to do as they please whenever they please, therefore the burden of protection (of war efforts, of strategizing and planning) is placed on the shoulders of the president (a role that wilbur took so seriously that he was crying himself to sleep every night, at least according to ghostbur). by extension, it is up to any individual citzen to accept or decline any individual task given to them by said president.

- This is backed up by wilbur's actions and how he lead his citizens (as linked above), but to quote l'manberg's declaration of independence: "The right of the people exists above the right of the king, the right of the government and the right of the economy."

2: this stems from the last point, but l'manberg citizens are free to leave whenever they please. if someone does not wish to be a part of l'manberg anymore then they aren't, simple as that. if a l'manberg citizen doesn't like the decisions to president makes then they don't have to tolerate that leadership.

3: There is no armor in l'manberg and no l'manbergian should ever strike first. l'manberg is built for pacifism first (though doesn't begrudge any individual their right to defend themselves).

4: No americans (targeting specifically dream, sapnap, george, and punz) may live in l'manberg (they are, however, allowed to visit so long as they agree to follow the rules, which is to say take their armor off).

again, in context this was a hamilton joke, because it's Funny for the europeans to roleplay the american revolution while twisting which side is fighting for independence. but in Context this is a handful of people saying that people who harassed them aren't allowed to set up shop on their lawn. l'manberg's original borders were smaller than singular bases. they didn't restrict anyone's access to resources or safety by doing it. they restricted people's access to Themselves. they were completely in their right to, essentially, set up a fence around their lawn and decide who got to move in. and even then, it proved to be temporary.

quackity, george, and schlatt all ran for presidency while wilbur was present of l'manberg. it was ultimately his choice whether he allowed that or not And He Did. and of course, many more americans would later become either official citizens of l'manberg or directly allied with them (including sapnap). and before even that there were no other rules against who could and couldn't join, which dream Immediately Took Advantage Of by buying off jack manifold to join l'manberg and betray them the literal day after l'manberg gained their independence, proving that this wariness wasn't unfounded [Link]

wilbur wasn't a saint who did nothing wrong, but the people who paint him as an authoritarian dictator are on something else. he barely logged on in the first place, freely letting the l'manberg citizens do as they pleased. he was the worst fighter in l'manberg, his role was gained solely through the respect that the others had for him. his entire leadership was centered around gaining personal freedoms and safety for the people inside l'manberg's borders.

and this was mirrored in its citizens ! l'manbergians in the early days stuck together and protected each other. meanwhile the oppositions' declaration of war started with the line "Sometimes you've just got to kill some people." and wilbur's called the authoritarian. [Link]

yes, the elections and pogtopia were different. but that wasn't authoritarianism, that was mental illness.

A few months ago, I remembered seeing a lot of posts giving advice on how to write dialogue for DSMP Characters. And while those posts contained numerous helpful pointers, overall, they fall just short of capturing what it means to write in a character’s Voice.

Unique character Voices, while tricky to get right, are usually achieved by giving each character a distinct set of words to say, in a manner that distinguishes them from the rest of the cast. 

With this in mind, I’ve spent the past few days combing through almost Thirty Hours of VOD footage to collect nearly all of the unique words, phrases, and speaking habits of every major and minor character on the Dream SMP (involved in 2+ story arcs.)

Before Reading:

Sentence-Starters are single words or phrases which begin a sentence. (ie. “Y’know, maybe you should try something different.”) 

Sentence Paddings are reoccurring words added to the middle of sentences. (ie. “It’s like he just can’t cry.”) 

Sentence Endings are single words or phrases which end a sentence. (ie. “There’s no need to fight, I hope.”)

All three of these types can be combined with one another to create more natural-sounding sentences. For instance, if a character has the two Sentence-Starters “Okay” and “So,” they can be used like this; “Okay, so, I’m a bit worried.”

(Note: When certain traits or phrases aren’t obvious with how they should be applied to dialogue, an (ie.) will be added below to illustrate them.)

Wilbur

General Traits:

Repeats himself for emphasis. Sometimes these repetitions will add additional information. More often, this repetition is focused around a specific word with the circumstance of the sentence being changed each time.

ie. “I’m living in an eternal limbo again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.”

Highly eloquent in language, bordering on poetic.

Highly introspective; significantly less so after Eret’s betrayal and onward.

Occasionally makes literary analogies and references, sometimes breaking the Fourth Wall to do so.

Curses semi-frequently. Wilbur is the only known character to use the word “cunt,” although rare.

Common Go-To Swears - Fuck, Shit, Prick, Bastard, Hell, Ass (Including all variations and combinations.)

Tends to hum when he thinks to himself.

Stutters most often when offended, shocked, or surprised.

Generally addresses characters semi-formally, often by title or role.

Often slips into long-form monologues when self-reflecting.

Usually defaults to being the head of a conversation; introducing, managing, and elaborating on topics throughout, especially when speaking to three or more people.

Circumstantial Phrases:

You and I, we’re ━ (To connect positively with someone.)

ie. “You and I, we’re used to seeing the good in people.”

I wanna pick your brain / Can I pick your brain? (To ask about someone else.)

Don’t say that, I’ll cry (Affectionate banter, only to Tommy.)

I’m afraid ━ (When hopeless or delivering bad news.)

ie. “I’m afraid there’s no getting out of this now.”

There’s no reason to ━ / There’s no reason for ━ / There’s no need for ━  (When being threatened or breaking up a fight.)

ie. “There’s no need for violence, gentlemen.”

Talk to her / Say nothing

Speedpaint link below: