Baroque Back Bitch

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

'being single sucks because youll be lonely' lame and untrue. 'being single sucks because a lot of groceries are portioned to make food for more than one person and you cant really take advantage of buying in bulk because it'll go bad before you use it all' this i cannot deny.

if I’m eating and you start spewing some ‘calories’ or ‘this isn’t healthy’ nonsense I’m kicking you in the face

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.

it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply do not enjoy being treated like shit.

"to smithereens" is one of the worst things to be blown to. right up there with weezer

saw a tiktok that was making good points except it was like "if you're over 23 you shouldn't even know anyone under 20 unless they're family and it's weird if you do" and I just. have you guys ever had coworkers. students. family friends. clubs. is no one going back to school for their BA/MA/PhD. what kind of isolated world are you living in where as a 23+ year old you never interact w anyone under the age of 20. this idea that even Talking to anyone younger than you is somehow predatory is absolutely insane god I hate western individualism so bad. no your best friend ever probably shouldn't be a teenager when you're a grown ass adult but we do in fact need to be in community w people younger than us

"Of course, i remembered" is a love language.

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

golly, tumblr sure is loading with a speed and consistency that implies health and vigor