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Art by Davood Moghaddami
grout white shark
Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

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CHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Advisors vow to bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobbo
quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.
Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point
we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough
you guys say it like it wont get on Pinterest in a few days at most
you guys say it like
it wont get on Pinterest in
a few days at most
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
post so bad tumblr offers 5 delete buttons and no post button
[id: screenshot of broken tumblr queue footer ui with one reorder button, 5 delete buttons, one edit, and one unreadable button where post button should be./end id]
many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

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Behold my dragon comics!!!
There is a quality of books (or movies or shows) that I can best describe as “stickiness,” which is separate from being good or even enjoyable: a sticky book is one I just keep thinking about. Sometimes it’s because a book is very good (e.g. The Locked Tomb), and sometimes it’s because a book is very bad (e.g. ACOTAR), but there are also very good and very bad books that are slippery, such that when I’m done reading them they slip from my thoughts like water from a hydrophobic surface.
My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking
Levels of understanding other slavic languages
oh we also have X and it means the same!
that looks like X but misspelled
that's just the archaic variant of X
this sounds a lot like Y from another slavic language I know which means X in mine so this almost 100% also means X
this word is completely different but I can kinda tell the meaning from the morphology
what
okay right now I'm gonna have to dissect the entirety of this language's history to figure out how the FUCK did y'all get to the point of calling X that and not something more normal
I wanted to ask for X and accidentally called someone a whore
I don't even have to look at the blog and I just know this is from a Pole about Czechs
suffering
KAKAOVY CHLEBICEK???!!!???
hissing growling scratching you etc etc
for example
(Polish: are you looking for a squirrel?, Slovak: excuse me, he is doing what to the squirrel?)
(also "hladna pića" means "cold drinks" in Croatian. means "hungry cunt" in Slovak and Czech)
("you're weird" in Czech is the same as "you're amazing" in Croatian, while "you're amazing" in Czech is the same as "you're terrible" in Croatian)
My favourite recent-ish example of #8:
Don't forget this:
And of course pomoć (help) vs pomoč (ordering you to piss on something)
Also remembered this shop from my trip to Croatia (piko means meth in czech and slovak)
przepraszam w CZYM ta restauracja????
This reminds me of that time my (Czech) family went to Poland for my uncle's wedding (because my aunt - his wife - is Polish and they decided to get married in Poland).
The wedding afterparty was in full swing, everyone was drinking and partying.... and an elderly Polish lady approached my two aunts (who were also drinking a lot and partying hard) and commented something along the lines of "jesteście odporne". Which in Polish means "you're resilient" (as in they're handling the alcohol well) but in Czech it means "you're disgusting".
It took my aunts a bit to remember that it means something different in Polish. 😅
another beautiful case of n.8 from @someidioticurl
Czech vision: ah yes an emergency button to press in case of emergency
Polish vision:
Oh, I have a few!
'pozor' in Czech means 'watch out!', but means 'shame' in Russian
droga in czech means drug, in polish it means road
záchod in czech means toilet, zachód in polish means 'west'
odchod 'to depart' in Czech means very specifically 'to depart by foot', while in Slovak it has a bit wider meaning, and buses and trains also combine with 'odchod'. To a Czech speaker this gives the funny implication that departing trains grow legs and walk out of the train station
Croatian 'mrdati' = to wiggle, means 'to have sex' in Czech
'Čerstvý, voňavý chléb' is Czech for 'fresh, nicely smelling bread'. In means the opposite in some slavic languages 'stale, stinky bread'. This kind of 'good meaning in one but bad meaning in other' duality happens surprisingly often actually, see also úžas and odporný above
otrok in Czech means 'slave' but in Slovenian and perhaps other South slavic languages it means 'child'. Very funny when combined with bazaar, turns a perfectly fine baby bazar into a slave bazaar
My friend has a fun sentence from Slovenian - "Hitri otroci kuhali jed na Dunaji". Literally none of the words here mean what a Czech thinks they mean. No not even Dunaj. Czechs read it as 'smart slaves were disemboweling poison by the Donau river', original Slovenian meaning is 'fast children were cooking food in Vienna'
Edit: wait one more. "srpanj" in Croatian means July, "srpen" in Czech means August. Listopad in Croatian means 'October', in Czech means 'November'. rujan in Croatian means 'September', říjen in Czech means 'October'. kwiecień in Polish means 'April', kviteń in Ukrainian also means 'April', květen in Czech means 'May'. Months are fucked up.

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I am so tired of short-attention-span, trim-the-fat culture. All writing advice these days is for how to write like Chuck Palahniuk. "Cut 'think', cut 'feel', cut 'wonder' - only action, only pushing forward, show and move and move and move." What if I could emulate this style, and still don't want to? What if I want to write like Henry James, with three paragraphs of introspective musings between each dialogue line? The music advice is, "make it shortform, make it Tik-Tok compatible, make it punchy, hit the refrain as soon as possible." What if I want that 10-minute prog rock piece? What if I want that symphony? What if I want it slow and luxurious and lazy? Movies. Series. Poetry. Bodies. Everything is "trimmed trimmed trimmed trimmed, stripped bare, you have three seconds to win me over, make it airport chic." I don't want to win you over, then, I guess. I want the fat left it. I want the pleasure and the indolence and the indulgence. Fuck this art-advice that's always "your art needs Ozempic."
Elena Wuest - An Afternoon Tea II, 2026 - Oil on canvas