soobin
affection [s]
always ours [s]
off-camera [s]
midnight cravings [s]
sinners [a] [f] [s]
yeonjun
the mysterious boy I met yesterday [f] [a]
wishes come true [s]
just chillin' [s]
always ours [s]
teacher's pet [s]
assigned to you [s]
beomgyu
fOoL fOr yOu [f]
el muchacho de los ojos tristes [a]
I hate and need him so much!! [s]
because of you [f]
second chance [a] [f]
late night host radio 1 [s]
late night host radio 2 [s]
revenge [s]
because of you [s]
married in red [s]
on the drive home [a]
I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT [s]
don't hide from me [s]
taehyun
prophecy [s]
punch! [s]
not really related [s]
the weight of silk and silence [s]
huening kai
worship you [s]
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i donβt really talk about my personal life here, it feels kinda weird and uncomfortable tbh, but i still wanted to share a bit of whatβs been going on these past monthsβ¦ maybe iβll delete this later lol.
last time i updated here was back in august and omg so much happened. nothing βserious seriousβ but it still hit way too hard on my emotional stability.
first thing wasβ¦ i ended things with my boyfriend of two years. the breakup was kinda inevitable and even then, writing helped me not fall apart. it was like my safe place. honestly, the relationship had no future. weβre both adults and our plans for life were completely different. neither of us could really compromise without ending up miserable. all those nights i stayed up writing kinda softened the blow, so when it finally ended it didnβt hurt as badβ¦ and yeah, thatβs how it went.
and when i posted my last fics, the breakup was still super fresh. but then the real chaos hit. memories and old moments kept popping up, and yeah, he was my first for a lot of thingsβ¦ while for him i was just βsomeone elseβ in his life, which i always struggled with. still, iβve got pride so i didnβt beg or try to get him back.
but i was anxious all the time. i couldnβt write. couldnβt even open tumblr. my mind just went blank and i felt even worse for not being able to keep up with my projects. i honestly had zero energy to write.
thenβ¦ i met someone. even tho i knew i wasnβt ready for anything. he opened up to me like i was some kind of safe space, but it turned out to be the opposite. now i can laugh but back then it was soβ¦ sad. this dude literally had a double life. he had me blocked on his personal ig and only followed me on his work account. super creepy. and i made the mistake of posting a pic of us because he told me we were βtalking seriouslyβ and weβd βhave something in the futureβ. after i posted it he just dropped me in the coldest way possible. i felt desperate. i donβt know if it was everything piling up or me not being stable enough to offer anything to anyoneβ¦ believing his words too fastβ¦ ignoring all the red flagsβ¦ the way he was clearly hiding from something or someoneβ¦ and then like three days ago i found out he has a girlfriend. it honestly destroyed me. iβve never felt something like that. i felt powerless because i know he lied to both of us.
but anyway, thatβs the short version of everything thatβs been going on. my birthdayβs in 9 days and i hope i can get myself together soon. during the holidays i wanna try writing again.
sorry if this has mistakes or makes zero sense, iβm still shaking while typing all this.
Putting mascara on BF! Jaemin | F - @scarletwinterxx
Day in the life | F - @saturnznct
9:18pm | F - @gyeomsweetgyeom
In which Jaemin does his own take of a trend | F - @lololololchips
in which jaemin does his own take of a trend that shows how he tried to confess to his crush over various instagram stories
One bed trope Enemy! Jaemin | F - @jenosbliss
Bittersweet | F - @polarisjisung
it's routineβ you patch up his wounds and watch them heal, he salts your wounds but doesn't stick around long enough to watch them grow.
Love without labels | F - @mystverse
BF Jaemin in you camera roll | F - @angeliqueiguess
Forever until the end (ft jeno) | F,A - @justwritedreams
[Newly Added] The return of superman | F - @gyeomsweetgyeom
[Newly Added] Barbie Girl | F,A - @luvdsc
if life is plastic (and therefore, nonbiodegradable), then itβs so not fantastic. honestly, who came up with that? regina george really shouldβve googled about the new plastics economy.
or alternatively, pretty girls rule the world, and you find out that heβs (not) all that.
[Newly Added] Trust me the way i trust you | F - @kiszjuli
in which you and your lifelong best friend have one of your traditional sleepovers, yet something about you two is different this time. heβs more clingy, youβre more bold..itβs just simple bantering..what could go wrong? oh yeah, and you have an immense crush on jaemin but he doesnβt feel the same- you think.
[Newly Added] Cozy | F,SG - @yutarot
you and jaemin have been inseparable since you were children. when you and a few of your friends go on your annual mountain ski trip, the air grows tense when they find out that you and jaemin have been sleeping together. so what happens when an overnight snowstorm extends your trip, bringing a sudden change of plans and a very unlikely guest to your vacation: jaemins crush. will your friendship survive within the cold presence of snow or will it melt away once the sun
[Newly Added] Girl code | F - @skylin-files
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
pov: your best friend's former situationship started hitting you up. what could go wrong?
[Newly Added] Baby on board | F - @cbeargyu
youβve been feeling off latelyβmoody, sleepy, weird cravingsβbut itβs not until babies start [staring and onesies catch your eye that you realize somethingβs up. you try to tell jaemin, but the universe is dead set on interrupting you. turns out, your boyfriend is about to be the softest, most dramatic dad ever.
[Newly Added] Kings favourite sin | M - @jenosonlywife23
[Newly Added] Too good to be fake | F,A? - @johnnysuhbmarine
If there was one thing Na Jaemin was known for, it was being a fuckboy with no interest in commitment. If there was one thing you knew him for, it was being your best friendβ¦and long-time crush. When his group of guy friends gets tired of the roster Jaemin seems to be running through, they propose a deal - theyβd each give him $100 if he could settle down with one girl for at least three months. But that was easy money to Jaemin. After all, he could just fake-date you.
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
lunch was quieter than usual, or maybe it just felt that way because your thoughts were too loud. your legs were moving, but your mind was elsewhere, tangled in everything that had happened that week, heeseungβs words echoing again and again in your head,Β βiβll probably make you cry one day.βΒ they werenβt kind. they werenβt romantic. they werenβt the type of things a girl wanted to hear from her boyfriend. and yetβ¦ here you were, being led to the cafeteria again by the same boy who said them.
he waited for you outside your classroom like he always did now, leaning casually against the wall, dark eyes dragging slowly from your face to your friends. yoojung didnβt need to be told. she nudged hyojung and sighed, stepping aside when heeseung approached.
βsheβs having lunch with her boyfriend today,βΒ he said flatly, like it was routine. not up for debate.
you could feel your stomach coil the moment you sat down in front of him. the table between you felt too small, the distance too close. you barely touched your food. your spoon scraped the tray twice before you gave up entirely. you werenβt even aware youβd already finished your grilled potatoes until a softΒ clinkΒ made you glance up.
heeseung had moved his tray forward. heβd taken the rest ofΒ hisΒ grilled potatoes and dropped them silently onto yours.
your eyes met for a second. there was no teasing grin, no smug smirk just a calm, unreadable expression on his face as he went back to picking at his rice like nothing happened.
βyou should eat moreβΒ he said.
just that. like it was the most obvious thing in the world. like the idea of sharing his food with you wasnβt a big deal. but it was. itΒ was. your chest tightened at the gesture, unsure if it was kindness or something else. why did someone like him even notice something so small?
you stared at the potatoes, at his chopsticks, then at him, his sharp profile, his slightly messy hair, the way he wore his shirt loose and casual like nothing mattered. everything about him screamed contradiction.
and just as you were processing it, heeseung reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. without even looking up, he extended it to you across the table.
βweβve been dating this whole time,βΒ he muttered.Β βbut i donβt even have your number. kind of weird, isnβt it?β
your lips parted slightly, surprised. you hadnβt even noticed that until now. among all the chaos, the pulling and pushing, the awkward silences and stolen glances, you never exchanged numbers. hesitantly, you took his phone and opened the contacts.
you typed your number slowly, thumbs trembling slightly under his gaze. you hesitated before saving it, because that name at the top?
girlfriend β€οΈ
you blinked. then frowned a little. sure, heβd been calling you that. sure, he technicallyΒ wasΒ your boyfriend now. but it still felt... strange. like the word didnβt belong to you yet. like it hadnβt been earned.
so, without thinking too deeply, you backspaced the label and typed in simply:
heeseung
a second later, your own phone buzzed in your pocket. you pulled it out and saw an unfamiliar number on your screen, paired with a message that read:
heeseung:
save my number
you looked up just as he took a long sip of his drink. there was a hint of a smirk on his lips, like he was trying to act cool but couldnβt help being a little proud of himself.
βthat was me,βΒ he confirmed.Β βnow add me back. and be ready for saturday.β
βsaturday?βΒ you echoed.
he nodded, poking around his food like it was nothing.
βweβre going on a date,βΒ he said.Β βfirst one.β
your fingers froze on the screen.
a date?
he said it so casually, like it was nothing special, like it was just something boyfriends and girlfriends did. but your heart was pounding all over again. your face flushed, hands nervously clutching your phone under the table. youβd never had a boyfriend before. never had a first date. and now,Β yourΒ first date was going to be with lee heeseung.
the boy with the sharp tongue and softer gestures. the boy who confused you, cornered you, and yet⦠kept finding ways to get closer.
you bit your bottom lip, trying not to smile. trying not to let him see how nervous the thought made you.
but somehow, you knew he already knew.
the rest of lunch passed quietly, but not in a bad way. heeseung didnβt talk much, just ate steadily, occasionally glancing up to see if you were still chewing or just staring blankly at your tray again. every so often, he would nudge something closer to you, an extra bite, his drink, even an unopened dessert cup like he was silently reminding you he was paying attention, in his own way. and it wasnβt just the food. it was how he leaned forward slightly when you spoke, how he didnβt check his phone once, how his knee brushed against yours under the table and didnβt move away.
still, your thoughts were tangled. your chest ached with confusion. everything felt surreal. the guy youβd written a secret love letter for hadnβt even read it. and the guy you never meant to give it to was now planning your first date. it wasnβt a bad dreamβ¦ but it didnβt quite feel like a fairytale either.
when you got back to class, your friends noticed. they always noticed.
the atmosphere between you three had shifted. yoojung and hyojung were unusually quiet, giving each other looks that saidΒ βshould we ask?βΒ andΒ βis she going to tell us anything?βΒ you pretended not to notice, packing your things with trembling fingers as the final bell rang. and just as you stood up, yoojung stepped into your path.
βwill he walk you home again?βΒ she asked, crossing her arms tightly.
you hesitated for a second. then nodded slowly.
βyeahβ¦ he will wait outside.β
hyojung let out a sigh, deep and tight in her chest.
βyou know, people are starting to talk more than before,βΒ she said, glancing sideways like she didnβt want to admit it.Β βthey think youβreβ¦ serious about him.β
you flinched. your eyes dropped to your shoes, and your hands tightened around your books.
βi didnβt mean for it to get serious,βΒ you whispered.
βbut itΒ is,βΒ yoojung cut in, frustration lacing her tone.Β βheβs not like other guys, y/n. you saw what chaeyeon and mina said. and yetβ¦ youβre letting him drag you through the school like a prize.β
her words stung more than you expected.
βheβs not like that,βΒ you said, your voice softer.Β β...not all the time.β
they looked at you like you were making a mistake.
and maybe you were.
when the three of you stepped outside, the sun had dipped a little lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the pavement. you shouldβve expected it, but still, your heart dropped the moment you saw heeseung standing near the school gate, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the entrance.
he was waiting.
again.
yoojung groaned under her breath, and hyojung squeezed your hand before stepping aside, giving you space. your stomach twisted as you walked toward him, hesitant steps echoing across the concrete.
βyouβre late,βΒ he said bluntly.
βi was with my friends,βΒ you mumbled.
βand iβm your boyfriend,βΒ he reminded you.Β βi come first now.β
the possessiveness in his voice made your chest tighten, not out of fear, though it was there, but out of the undeniable pressure of being someoneβsΒ person. you didnβt know how to carry that weight yet.
he didnβt wait for your response. he just reached for your wrist, wrapped his fingers around it gently but firmly, and began to walk. you almost stumbled trying to keep up, and part of you wanted to pull away, but you didnβt. not because you liked itβ¦ but because you didnβt know what would happen if you resisted again.
and then⦠you passed them.
his friends.
jungwon, jongseong and... jaeyun.
they were leaning against the fence, laughing about something stupid, a half-crushed energy drink at their feet. the moment they saw the two of you, they straightened. the air shifted. like a pack sensing tension.
the silent agreement you two had made not long ago, buried and forgotten in the chaos of your new relationship. you thought it wouldnβt matter anymore. that maybe it had been erased from both your memories.
but clearly, it hadnβt.
heeseung didnβt notice at first. but the moment he saw your expression shift, your shoulders tense, your eyes dart back to jaeyun, he turned his head slowly.
he saw it. the silence. the way jaeyun didnβt say a word. the way you looked shaken.
his eyes narrowed, jaw flexing ever so slightly. he didnβt speak. not yet. but you knew he would. sooner or later. he wasnβt the type to forget something like that.
and youβ¦ you werenβt sure how long you could keep the silence intact.
the sun had long dipped behind the buildings, casting a dusky glow over the edge of the city as neon lights flickered to life around them. the group stood outside a dimly lit convenience store, the sharp scent of gasoline and fried food floating faintly in the summer air. bags of chips rustled in someoneβs grip, the glass door swinging open and shut with every passing customer.
jaeyun leaned against the wall, arms crossed, trying to stay casual. jungwon was mid-laugh over something jongseong had said, something that wasnβt really funny, but still loud enough to fill the air with distraction.
and then there was heeseung.
he hadnβt said much since they left school. hadnβt smiled. hadnβt even really looked at the others. he was sitting on a low wall outside the shop, one leg propped up, his hands twitching with the same kind of restlessness he always had before a fight. except this time, it wasnβt fists that were about to fly, it was words. and maybe, just maybe, something worse.
he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, jaw clenched, and broke the silence with a voice rougher than usual.
βgive me one.β
jaeyun looked up.
βhuh?β
βa cigarette.βΒ heeseung didnβt meet his eyes.
βi thought you no longer smokedβ
βi do now.βΒ heeseung finally looked at him then eyes dark and sharp, like two blades glinting under a low light.Β βso hand it over.β
jaeyun fumbled for his pack, handed him one without a word, and lit it for him. the moment the flame touched the cigarette, heeseung took a long, slow drag, the tip glowing like a warning light. smoke curled between his lips as he exhaled, the tension thickening in the space between them.
jungwon and jongseong were halfway through the shop door when heeseung spoke again, voice low.
βyouβve been staring at her.β
jaeyun froze.
the words werenβt loud. but they were heavy. cold. each one dropped like a stone in still water, and the ripples were immediate.
heeseung turned his head slowly, eyes locking onto jaeyunβs like a predator catching movement in the dark.
βdonβt fucking lie to me. you think i donβt notice?β
jaeyun opened his mouth, then shut it again. his throat moved as he swallowed hard.
βi donβt-...β
βyou look at her like sheβs yours.βΒ heeseungβs tone didnβt rise. it didnβt need to. the calmness was worse. more dangerous.Β βso tell me, how do you know her?β
jaeyun shifted uncomfortably, back pressing tighter against the wall.
βitβs nothing... really.β
ββnothingβ doesnβt make your whole body stiff when she walks by.βΒ heeseung leaned in, cigarette between his fingers, still burning slowly.Β ββnothingβ doesnβt make you freeze like a goddamn deer every time her eyes meet yours.β
he paused, his voice dipping lower.
βso iβll ask one more time. where do you know her from?β
jaeyun looked away. heeseung followed his gaze with a tilt of his head, studying him like he was trying to crack open his skull and read his thoughts directly. when he didnβt get an answer, his expression shifted.
he stood up slowly, towering slightly over jaeyun now, even if they were the same height. he brought the cigarette to his lips again, but he wasnβt enjoying it, it was a leash. a way to keep himself from breaking something.
βyou think iβm stupid?βΒ he asked, voice like smoke and ash.Β βyou think i havenβt seen that look before? iβve had guys try to go behind my back for less. donβt make me turn this into something it doesnβt need to be.β
jaeyunβs hands curled into fists at his sides, but it wasnβt in defiance. it was frustration. guilt. and shame.
because heeseung was right.
heβd been reckless with his eyes. too obvious with his silences. and now he was cornered β not just by the boy in front of him, but by a secret he didnβt want the others to know.
the truth wasnβt about you, not completely. it was about chaeyoung. about the stupid way he still wanted her to look at him like more than just a friend. about how he thought picking a fight with the guy she was talking to would make her jealous. it didnβt. all it did was get him suspended for two weeks and humiliated in front of the school.
and now,Β youΒ were the key to blowing it all open. because if heeseung found out what you knew β even just that small, fragile detail of their history β it would crush what little image jaeyun had left.
before he could answer, the convenience store door flew open again. jongseong stepped out first, snacks in one hand, cigars in the other. jungwon followed, cracking open a soda and tossing it toward jaeyun without a word.
heeseung didnβt move.
didnβt smile.
didnβt even blink.
he just inhaled the last of his cigarette, eyes still burning into jaeyunβs face like he was engraving the suspicion directly onto his skin.
as he exhaled, he flicked the cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his heel.
βweβll finish this later,βΒ he muttered under his breath, barely audible over the crunch of chips and soda fizz.
i made a mistake π for some reason i posted the wrong chapter... the one i uploaded is actually supposed to be chapter six but idk why i named it fiveeeπ no wonder when i was rereading it after posting, the story didnβt line up with the last one π i just set todayβs chapter to private, let me finish editing and fix the mess so i can post the one thatβs ACTUALLY chapter five and also repost six (the one some of you already read LMAO) my bad fr, i just have so many drafts and everything got lost π why am i like this????π
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
the week crawled forward in a strange haze. ever since that lunch at school, heeseung hadnβt stopped texting you. every day. every hour. it was never anything particularly deep: βwhat are you doing,β βwhat class are you in now,β βdonβt forget to eat,βΒ followed by a selfie of him in some awkward angle or a blurry picture of the vending machine he was standing in front of, but it still made your phone light up more than it ever had before.
at first it was overwhelming, your fingers clumsy with replies, rereading everything five times before hitting send. you werenβt used to this, to having someone so persistent, so present. youβd never kept a daily conversation with anyone before, not even your best friends. and yet, somehow, heeseung made it feelβ¦ expected. like it was the most normal thing in the world that he should know where you were and what you were doing at any given time.
it made you nervous.
and now, standing in front of your bedroom mirror, those nerves had twisted themselves into something unbearable. you were chewing the inside of your cheek, staring at your reflection, hating every outfit you tried on, every possible version of yourself you could present. heβd said heβd be there around 3pm. youβd agreed. nodded through the phone and sent back a small, shaky thumbs-up emoji like an idiot. and now here you were, two hours later, ten tops and three dresses scattered across your bed and no idea what the hell you were doing.
eventually, your eyes landed on the one piece you hadnβt dared try on yet. the soft, yellow floral dress your mom had bought you during a sale. it was long, flowing, with delicate straps and tiny embroidered daisies that danced across the fabric like sunlight. youβd always thought it made you look too soft, too much like a kid, but something inside you whisperedΒ wear it anyway. and so you did.
your heart pounded so loudly in your chest that you barely heard the buzz of your phone when the message came in.
heeseung:
iβm outside
simple, just like that.
you took one last breath, deep... desperate... and walked to the front door, clutching your purse like a lifeline. when you stepped outside, the sunlight nearly blinded you, but not enough to miss the figure leaning casually against a black motorbike parked at the curb.
and there he was.
lee heeseung, without the school uniform for the first time.
and somehow, he looked even more dangerous.
he was wearing a black short-sleeved shirt, snug against his chest and loose around the sleeves, showing the veins of his arms and the lines of his collarbone. his jeans were dark, slightly distressed, and sat low on his hips in a way that made your stomach flutter. he wore rings, two on his right hand, one on his left, and a chain necklace that glinted when the sun hit it. his hair messier than usual, pushed back slightly like heβd run his hands through it before arriving. and his eyesβ¦ they were already on you.
his gaze didnβt waver.
heeseung looked you up and down, slowly, like he was trying to memorize every inch of you. when his eyes returned to your face, his expression had changed. the usual smirk had softened into something unreadable somewhere between surprise and something warmer. something you werenβt ready to name.
βyellow, huh...βΒ his voice was low, almost amused.Β βyou look... soft.β
you blinked, unsure whether that was a compliment or not. heeseung pushed off the bike, now standing right in front of you, and added, quieter this time:
βit suits you.β your face burned instantly. you mumbled a small thank you, eyes falling to the pavement.
he watched you for a second longer before gesturing to the bike behind him.
βdonβt worry, weβre not taking that,βΒ he said.Β βyou donβt look ready for your first near-death experience yet.β
you managed a small laugh, still too nervous to speak properly, and followed him to the sidewalk where a car was now parked. you hadnβt even noticed it pull up. he walked over to open the door for you and waited until you were inside before closing it and getting in himself.
once inside the car, you glanced around the interior with subtle curiosity, your fingers absentmindedly brushing the seatbelt as you took in the surprisingly clean dashboard, the faint scent of cologne and old leather, and the way the sunlight filtered through the windows, making everything feel warm and almost unreal. your eyes trailed across the small charms hanging from the rearview mirror, some kind of faded dice and a metal tag with initials etched into it. without thinking much, you turned your head toward him and asked:
"whose car is this?" heeseung kept his eyes on the road, one hand gripping the wheel while the other rested lazily on the gear shift. he didnβt answer immediately. the silence stretched just enough to make you wonder if youβd overstepped, but then he replied, voice cool and casual:
"my dadβs." you blinked. that made sense. he didnβt exactly screamΒ full-time job with benefits.
"wait, so⦠do you even have the age to drive this?" he turned his head just a little, just enough to throw you a sly look, eyes half-lidded, lips curling at the edge with amusement.
"are you accusing me of driving illegally?" you couldnβt help it, you laughed. really laughed. the sound surprising even yourself, and it made his smile grow a little, just barely.
"no! no, I mean-... well, we barely just turned the legal age, and this carβs kinda... nice,"Β you said, brushing your hair behind your ear, flustered.
at the next red light, without saying a word, heeseung reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet. he flipped it open and slid something across the console toward you. it was his driverβs license.
you held it with both hands, your eyes scanning the little rectangle like it was a sacred document. you tried not to stare too hard, but failed miserably. he looked so...Β normalΒ in the picture. no scowl, no sharp smirk, no threatening glint in his eyes. instead, his expression was calm, almost gentle. his nose perfectly angled, his pink lips relaxed, slightly parted like he wasnβt even trying, just existing and somehow still managing to look annoyingly beautiful. your heart skipped a beat. you caught yourself staring too long and quickly handed it back, cheeks burning.
heeseung only hummed, placing the license back in his wallet with a smug flick.
it was loud and chaotic. game noises, laughter, the clink of coins and the hum of machines filled the space, and immediately, you were tugged into a whirlwind of digital battles, skee-ball throws, and racing games. heeseung turned out to be annoyingly good at everything, pinpoint accuracy with basketball shots, absurd reflexes on the dance machine, and that same smirk plastered on his face every time he won. which wasΒ every time.
βyouβre letting me win on purpose!βΒ you pouted after he beat you at air hockey.
βwho, me?βΒ he feigned innocence, twirling the mallet in his hand.Β βnever.β
he absolutely was. you could tell by the way he hesitated at the last second, just enough for your puck to make a dramatic comeback, and how he always celebrated your tiny wins like they were massive victories. it made your stomach feel weird. in a good way.
the two of you eventually ended up near a claw machine filled with keychain-sized plushies. tiny animals with huge round eyes, dangling from loops of string inside the glass box like trophies waiting to be won. heeseung stopped walking and pointed toward it.
"you like this stuff, right?"
"what makes you say that?" you raised an eyebrow.Β
βyour backpackβs basically a zoo.β
you stared at the machine, lips twitching.Β "and you think you can win one of these?"
βplease,βΒ he scoffed.Β βi can winΒ all of them.β
he was dead wrong for the first four tries.
you watched as he fed coin after coin into the machine, swearing under his breath every time the claw slipped or missed. you told him to give up at least twice, but he waved you off like a man on a mission. his brows were furrowed, his jaw clenched in concentration, and at some point, you realized you were smilingβactually smilingβwatching him get frustrated over pastel animals in a plastic case.
"one more..."Β he muttered, as if the machine could hear him.
and somehow, this time⦠he did it. not only one, but two small plushies dropped into the bin at once. a tiny strawberry cow and a sleepy blue bunny. heeseung grinned triumphantly and handed them to you like a knight returning from battle.
βtold you.β you looked down at the plushies in your hands, eyes wide, heart fluttering. they were so soft, so cute, almost ridiculously adorable. you held them up to your chest and gave him a smile that made his breath catch.
"thank you..."Β you whispered, voice soft and genuine.
βyou can add them to the collection.β he muttered, recovering.Β
you hesitated for a moment before holding one of the plushies back toward him.
"then you should have one too,"Β you said.Β "that way we both have a memory from today."
he blinked. your fingers were outstretched, offering him the blue bunny.
his first instinct was to scoff, to roll his eyes and sayΒ what the hell am i supposed to do with this?, but the words died on his tongue. instead, something warm curled up in his chest. his hand closed around the bunny slowly, carefully, like it might break if he held it wrong.
and for a fleeting second, he wished he had his backpack right there, just to clip it on. something about having a part of this moment with him⦠felt right.
he stared at the bunny. then at you.
and for the first time since you started this strange, accidental relationship, lee heeseung didnβt feel like a bad boy playing pretend, he felt real.
the sun was beginning to dip, casting a soft golden hue over the pavement as you walked side by side in silence, your footsteps echoing in a lazy rhythm along the quiet path near the park. the arcade noise had faded into the background, replaced by the distant chirp of birds and the occasional breeze rustling through tree branches. you held the tiny strawberry cow plush close to your chest, fingers curling protectively around it every now and then as if it were a fragile treasure. your other hand swung gently by your side, brushing the edge of your dress with each step. heeseung walked next to you with his hands tucked deep into his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched forward, his gaze fixed ahead, but not reallyΒ lookingΒ at anything.
he hadnβt said much in the last few minutes.
earlier heβd made fun of your air hockey skills, boasted about his claw machine talents, and even flashed a rare smile when he caught you laughing too hard. but now, something had shifted. it was subtle, but it sat heavy in the air between you. maybe it was the way his jaw tightened just a bit, or how his eyes flickered toward you only to quickly turn away again. you didnβt notice right away, too caught up in the warmth of the day and the sweet high of your first real date, but eventually, you slowed your steps and turned your head.
he looked distracted. distant. like he was trying to solve a problem in his head but didnβt know where to start.
"heeseung?" he blinked as your voice broke the silence, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. your gaze met his, and for a brief second, he looked almost... conflicted. his lips parted, but he didnβt speak immediately.
instead, he took in the way you clutched the plushie to your chest, how your brows furrowed slightly in confusion, the soft expression on your face that always looked so defenseless and unaware.
finally, he exhaled.
"do you know jaeyun from somewhere else?" your steps halted mid-stride.
you stared at him, wide-eyed, heart catching in your throat at the sudden question. you opened your mouth, barely managing to shape a response, but just as the words began to form, a voice rang out in the distance, loud, casual, and horribly mistimed.
"yo, heeseung!" heeseungβs head snapped toward the source of the voice, his shoulders tensing as three familiar figures approached from the opposite sidewalk. jongseong was waving enthusiastically, flanked by jungwon on his left and jaeyun on his right, each of them accompanied by a girl, three stunning girls, dressed prettily, laughing about something you couldnβt hear, their glossy hair bouncing as they walked.
your stomach flipped.
jaeyun looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. his steps faltered the moment he locked eyes with you. you felt the exact same discomfort wash over your skin, crawling like static up your neck. instinctively, you reached up and scratched the back of your neck, your gaze flickering toward the ground, the plushie in your arms becoming your temporary shield.
heeseungβs eyes narrowed instantly.
"you guys done?"Β he called out dryly, no warmth in his voice.
jongseong didnβt seem to mind the cold reception. he lifted both hands like he was surrendering, flashing his usual cheeky grin.
"donβt mind us, we were just passing by. didnβt expect to see you two lovebirds in the wild."
"have fun, yeah?" jungwon gave a sly wink in your direction, his hands tucked into the pockets of his oversized hoodie.
"jaeyun,"Β jongseong added, nudging his friend,Β "say something to the couple of the hour, man."
jaeyun didnβt say anything. he barely managed a tight smile before looking away again, eyes lingering for a split second too long on the plushie in your arms.
that was the last straw for heeseung.
"can you guys go already?"Β his voice cut through the awkwardness like a knife, sharper now, laced with irritation that made you flinch.Β "weβre in the middle of a date, and youβre ruining it."
there was a beat of silence.
jongseong gave a low whistle and took a step back.
"o-okay... okay, chill man. weβre going."Β he clapped jaeyun on the shoulder before turning to walk away.Β "good luck, romeo."
jungwon followed, flashing one last grin. jaeyun hesitated, looking like he wanted to say something, but one glance from heeseung had him retreating with the others, melting into the crowd down the street.
you exhaled slowly, finally able to breathe again. you hadnβt even realized how tense your shoulders were until they started to ache.
heeseung didnβt move at first. his hands were still in his pockets, but you could see the way his jaw ticked, the way his brows knitted together in a tight frown. when he finally turned to you again, you couldnβt read the look on his face.
"sorry"Β he muttered,Β "theyβre annoying."
you nodded weakly, still hugging the plushie close, unsure whether to ask him about jaeyun again or pretend it never happened.
your fingers fumbled with your books as you stood in front of your locker, attempting to organize them by subject but failing miserably. your head wasnβt in it. not even a little. instead, it was swimming in the memory of the weekend, your first official date with heeseung, the soft surprise of it, his laugh when he beat you at every arcade game, the way his eyes lit up when you gave him one of your plush keychains as a keepsake. since then, his texts had barely stopped. not in a clingy way, more likeβ¦ persistent. almost comforting, except for the weight that still pressed on your chest from the things he hadnβt said about jaeyun, about what he felt. you hadnβt brought it up again either. maybe you didnβt want the answer.
your fingers lingered on your locker door, eyes unfocused, brain a thousand miles away. that was when it happened, again.
a soft thud.
you turned too quickly and crashed into someone. the books in your hands tumbled to the floor in a messy heap, and you stumbled back a little, your shoulder throbbing slightly from the impact.
βah-...β you gasped, startled.
and then you froze.
because standing in front of you, looking just as surprised but unmistakably kind, was park sunghoon.
he offered a soft laugh under his breath, the corners of his lips curling upward in that way that made your stomach twist.
βthis is like the third time,β he said, bending down to help you gather your books. βi swear weβre always running into each other.β
your heart was hammering in your chest now. you lowered yourself with him to pick up the last textbook, your fingers brushing briefly when you both reached for it.
he looked up at you then, really looked at you and you forgot how to breathe. the hallway noise faded behind you. sunghoon had always been handsome, but it was moments like this, the sincerity in his gaze, the softness in his voice, that completely disarmed you.
βbe careful next time!β he added, his voice still light. βyouβre gonna make me start thinking you do this on purpose.β
βi-i donβt...β you flushed, eyes wide and face heating like a furnace.
he smiled wider. βi know.β
he handed you the last book and stood up straight. and then, just like that, he was gone, walking down the hall like the moment hadnβt just derailed your entire emotional balance.
you stood there with your books hugged to your chest, a little breathless, your heart pinging painfully behind your ribs. it wasnβt fair. that the way he smiled could undo you so easily. that just the sound of his voice could make you forget about every complicated thing in your life, heeseung, for example.
what if he had read the letter?
the question struck you again as you turned toward the classroom. what if you hadnβt made that mistake? what if youβd never put it in the wrong locker?
you barely heard anything during class. the teacher might as well have been speaking a foreign language. your eyes were on the board, but your mind was replaying that tiny exchange with Sunghoon on a loop. your friends could tell.
βyou good?β hyojung asked, leaning in close. βyouβve been smiling to yourself like a total weirdo.β
βis this about that boy again?β yoojung chimed in. βplease donβt tell me heeseung kissed you again.β
you blinked, snapped out of your daze. βno! itβs not that. itβsβ¦ nothing...β
βitβs never nothing,β hyojung said. βand besides, weβre almost at lunch. i bet you five bucks heeseungβs already outside.β
you glanced toward the clock and the second the bell rang, your classroom door slid open.
there he was.
heeseung, leaning lazily on the frame, eyes immediately locking with yours. he didnβt say anything to anyone else, just waited. and your stomach twisted.
heesung had sat across from you at breakfast like usual, complaining about the amount of homework the math teacher dumped on them and grumbling about how school should start at noon. he'd made you laugh, barely. and then, halfway through chewing on a spoonful of rice, he abruptly put down his chopsticks and stood up with a sharp breath through his nose.
βiβll be back. bathroom. iβm seriously about to explode.β
you just blinked, letting out a confused hum as he practically sprinted toward the hallway. typical. you sighed, quietly sipping your strawberry milk and gently moving his tray aside. he didnβt eat much of his food, so you figured youβd at least carry it for him before some first year decided to take his seat. you gathered your own tray and his, carefully balancing both in your hands as you headed toward the return line to get fresh servings.
and thatβs when it happened.
a solid bump, a flash of black hair, and then, warmth.
the thick, messy texture of soup soaking through your cardigan. sticky sauce clinging to your skirt. your eyes widened in slow horror as the plates clattered to the floor, bits of rice and meat scattered everywhere like some kind of tragic battlefield.
βoh my god-... iβm so sorry!β a voice stammered in front of you, gentle and sincerely apologetic.
you looked up to meet the wide, panicked eyes ofΒ park sunghoon, again.
your heart nearly stopped.
he held his hands out uselessly, then scrambled to grab napkins from his pocket, crouching in front of you.
βwait-wait, let me help-β
you froze, heart hammering, unsure if it was from the mess or the boy currently kneeling in front of you, reaching out like he was about to dab at your skirt, when a hand yanked him back so violently, he almost hit the wall.
βwhat the fuck do you think youβre doing?!β
you didnβt have to turn around to know.
heeseung.
his eyes were darker than youβd ever seen. not the usual playful gleam, not the mocking grin or smug smirk. this was cold fury. his grip on sunghoonβs shirt was tight, white-knuckled, and his body was already tensed like he was about to swing.
βare you fucking stupid?β he growled. βyou spill shit on her and then try to get handsy? what, are you desperate?β
βheeseung, stop-!β you rushed forward, placing your hand on his arm.
sunghoonβs face contorted into a glare, yanking his shirt free from heeseungβs grip. βit was an accident! you asshole!β
βdonβt fucking talk to me.β heeseungβs voice was low, dangerous. βdonβt look at her. donβtΒ touchΒ her.β
you shoved yourself between them. βheeseung, please- he didnβt mean to. youβre overreacting-β
βmove.β his voice cracked like thunder.
you shook your head. βno...β
he stared at you for half a second, but it was enough to spark something even darker behind his eyes. without warning, he shoved past you and lunged again, landing a solid punch across sunghoonβs cheekbone. the sound of it made your stomach twist.
sunghoon stumbled back, holding his face, then growled and retaliated, his fist crashing into heeseungβs nose with a sickening crunch. blood sprayed instantly. heeseung didnβt flinch. he just snarled and raised his fists again, ready to fight until someoneβs bones cracked.
but it didnβt get that far.
the screams from nearby students echoed through the lunch room. within seconds, a teacher and hall monitor were prying them apart, holding them back as they cursed at each other through gritted teeth.
βyouβre dead, park.β
βget a grip, psycho!β you stood frozen, trembling, watching the scene fall apart around you. guilt sat heavy on your chest, like youβd caused it just by being there.
you didnβt speak again, not when heeseung was dragged toward the academic coordinatorβs office, his nose bloodied, still trying to break free, not even when sunghoon was helped up and escorted toward the nurseβs office with a swollen eye and a bruised jaw. your hands were shaking as you followed in silence.
after they were treated, heeseung with an ice pack pressed to his bleeding nose, sunghoon with a cold compress over his purple eye, only silence hung in the air between everyone involved. heeseung didnβt look at you. he didnβt speak.
and you didnβt follow him this time.
you were mad.Β furious.
not just at what heβd done.
but because he hadnβt even tried to explain himself, and then he remembered.
the letter.
the one you claimed wasnβt for him, the one you said was meant for someone else... it was for him, park sunghoon.
suddenly, it wasnβt just embarrassment or anger. it was something deeper. it was something that squeezed at his chest and made his breath catch for just a second. his jaw clenched, his brows furrowed, but he didnβt say anything.
he couldnβt.
because in that moment, the jealous rage he was used to didnβt show up the way it normally did. no fists. no yelling. just... that weird, bitter pit in his stomach that made everything go quiet inside his head.
you hadnβt even looked at him.
and for the first time,Β he didnβt know what to do.
you pushed the door open quietly, stepping into the small, fluorescent-lit detention room with slow, hesitant feet. it smelled faintly like whiteboard markers and disinfectant, and there, sitting alone at the second row of desks, was sunghoon, head bowed slightly, a cold pack pressed over his right eye. the swelling had already begun to spread across his cheekbone, blooming into a purplish shadow beneath his skin. his hoodie was bunched up around his elbows, and when he looked up and saw you, he blinked in surprised confusion.
βyouβre not supposed to be here...β he said, voice soft and unsure, but not unkind.
you froze just inside the door, unsure whether to step forward or leave. his presence was... gentle. so different from the storm youβd just escaped. you lowered your head for a second, then stepped toward him anyway, the words sitting heavy on your tongue.
βi know...β you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, βbut i just wanted to see if you were okay.β
sunghoon set the cold pack aside, eyes studying you for a moment. his lip was split, a thin trail of dried blood at the corner. and yet, even with the bruise and the bandages, there was something boyish and kind in his expression, like he didnβt want to make you uncomfortable despite everything.
βi justβ¦ wanted to say sorry,β you said instead, even if it wasnβt what you really meant. βfor what happened. for him. heβs-he's not always like that...β
sunghoon tilted his head, folding his arms loosely across the desk. there was no judgment in his gaze, but his voice held a quiet edge.
βyou donβt have to apologize. it wasnβt your fault. if anything,Β iβmΒ the one who should be sorry. i didnβt see you coming with the trays. i made a mess of your uniform.β
he reached down beside his chair, then pulled out a neatly folded hoodie from his bag.
βhere,β he said, holding it toward you, βyou can wear this home.β
you looked down at it, at the way his hands hesitated slightly offering something so small but somehow weighted with meaning. your fingers curled tighter around your skirt.
βthank you, butβ¦ iβm fine.β
you werenβt. not really. your whole body still buzzed from the aftermath of the fight. your chest ached with things you didnβt say likeΒ i used to like you,Β i wrote that letter for you,Β iβm sorry you were the one hurt when none of this was your fault.
but the words stayed locked in your throat. he studied you a little longer, then gave another quiet smile, more thoughtful than before.
βyouβve always liked him?β
your eyes widened. βw-what?β
βheeseung,β he said, as if the name didnβt taste bitter on his tongue. βhe acts like youβre the only thing that matters to him. i just figuredβ¦ you liked someone quieter.β
your heart twisted. god, why did he have to say that? why did he have to be so kind now, when it didnβt change anything?
you parted your lips, but nothing came out.
and before you could find a way to say anything, the door opened again, and a hall monitor stepped inside, clearing his throat.
you panicked.
βi-i have to go.β you turned and hurried out, your steps echoing down the empty hallway as your heartbeat pounded in your ears.
heeseung kicked the office door shut behind him, his shoulder tense, his jaw locked so tight it hurt. his nose still throbbed faintly from the impact, but it wasnβt the pain that lingered, it was the suspension. an entire fucking week. he wouldnβt see you in class, wouldnβt get to sit by your side during lunch, wouldnβt get to watch the way you pouted when you were annoyed or held your carton of strawberry milk with both hands like it was the most precious thing in the world. and it was all because heβd lost control. again.
he shoved his hands into his pockets as he stepped into the hallway, head down, trying to breathe through the heat pooling in his chest. but the voice of jungwon from earlier kept looping through his mind low, teasing, but almost too on the nose to ignore.
βwow hyungβ¦ youβre really interested in everything that has to do with her.β
his steps slowed as the memory crashed into him.
theyβd skipped physics again, like always, ducking behind the gym where the walls were lined with graffiti and cigarette burns on the concrete floor. jaeyun was already lighting one, jongseong had some kind of sour candy shoved in his cheek, and jungwon had sprawled out on the ground with his back against the wall.
βso,β jongseong said, eyes glinting, βheard you took that girl to the shops last saturday. what was that about?β
heeseung rolled his eyes, stealing one of his candies and popping it into his mouth.
βwhat do you mean,Β what was that about?Β we were hungry. we ate.β
βate each other?β jaeyun grinned.
βfuck off.β
jongseong chuckled, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. βno, seriously. youβve been acting different.β
jungwon added, βnot saying sheβs not cute or anything, sheβs got a sort of charm to her... but sheβs definitely not your usual type.β
heeseung furrowed his brows, scoffing.
βwhat are you talking about?β he licked his thumb, then casually began ticking things off with each finger. βy/nβsΒ really cute, she smells nice, sheβs soft and delicate, when she gets shy, she makes this dumb face like she wants to hide behind her own hands, and when sheβs mad, the tip of her nose gets red like a rabbit. plusβ¦ itβs fun to tease her. she reacts to everything.β his voice had drifted without him realizing it, turning quieter, almost fond. when he looked up, his friends were staring at him like heβd grown two heads.
jungwon blinked. βuhβ¦ wow.β
jaeyun let out a long whistle.
βhyung,β jungwon said again, sitting up now, βyouβre actuallyΒ intoΒ her. like, not just messing around. youβ¦Β likeΒ her.β
heeseung paused. the candy sat still on his tongue, suddenly tasteless.
he looked toward the sky, the clouds moving slowly, lazily above the gym roof.
βyeah...β he muttered, shrugging. βand what if i do?β
jongseong blinked, face unreadable. βitβs justβ¦ the last time you talked about a girl like that was, like... forget itβ
heeseung waved him off.
βitβs too much to think about. i donβt want to do that right now.β
he didnβt say it, but his heart had already moved ahead of him.
now, back in the present, the halls were mostly empty. he passed a group of students whispering about the fight, pretending not to hear. everyone had seen it. everyone had seenΒ youΒ stand in front of sunghoon. not him.
and that part? that part tore something open in his chest.
because he could take a punch. he could take ten. he could even handle suspension. but what he couldnβt takeβ¦ was the look on your face when you defended someone else.
like he was the villain. like he hadnβt just acted on impulse because he wasΒ scare,Β scared of losing you, scared of watching sunghoon smile at you like he could give you something heeseung never could.
his fingers curled tighter in his pockets.
it had been building up for days, that feeling... raw and unfamiliar and infuriating. he didnβt know how to name it, only that it made his chest tight and his thoughts spiral when you smiled at anyone that wasnβt him.
π§ still monster by enhypen playing in the background...
the school grounds were unusually quiet by the time you stepped outside. the sun hung low in the sky, its golden rays streaking the pavement with long shadows. students were already gone for the day, the last wave of noise fading into the distance. but you waited. youΒ knewΒ heβd be here. and sure enough, leaning against the outer wall near the main gate, a cigarette unlit between his fingers and his jaw clenched so tight it could snap, there he was.
lee heeseung.
you approached slowly, your backpack heavy over your shoulder, your throat dry from all the things youβd rehearsed in your head but werenβt sure how to say. he didnβt look at you right away. not until you were close enough that your shadow fell over his shoes.
βthe principal gave me the boot. week-long vacation.β heeseungβs mouth twitched.
βso thatβs it?β you asked, your voice low but laced with heat. βyouβre just gonna throw punches and get suspended and not say anything? just disappear?β
he finally lifted his eyes. dark. sharp. blood still crusted faintly around one nostril.
βwhat do you want me to say?β
βanything, heeseung! you hit someone, in front of everyone. for what?β
he scoffed and pushed off the wall, standing taller now. βoh, so youΒ didΒ care about him?β
βof courseβ!β
βthen go to him!β he cut you off, voice suddenly sharper. βyou saw your precious park sunghoon reaching for you like he had a fucking right! you let him kneel in front of you like some goddamn romantic scene and didnβt doΒ shitΒ to stop him!β
you stared at him, stunned by his words, by the sheer fire in them. his jealousy was palpable, wrapping around you like barbed wire.
βit wasnβt like that!β you snapped. βhe spilled the tray, it was an accident-β
βand you ran after him like you owed him something,β he snapped back, stepping forward. βdo you like him that much, huh? is that it? you finally got your moment with your sweet little sunghoon and i ruined it?β
his voice broke a little on the last word, and that... that made your chest twist.
βwhatβs wrong with you?β you swallowed hard, your fists clenched by your sides.
βwhatβs wrong is that youβre here, yelling atΒ me, when i was the one watching someone else touch you and you didnβt even flinch.β
βbecause i was embarrassed!β you shouted. βi didnβt evenΒ wantΒ that! and now everyoneβs talking and blaming me like itβsΒ myΒ fault!β
heeseung laughed, short and bitter.
βwell, itΒ isΒ your fault.β you felt like heβd slapped you.
he didnβt mean it, not really, you knew he didnβt, but your chest still hurt like heβd cracked it open with those words. you turned away, blinking back angry tears.
βyouβre unbelievable...β you whispered. βyou think everythingβs about you! you donβt even ask how i felt, you... justβhit, lash out, like a child.β
βand you-β heeseung said, voice rising as he followed you, βyou act like iβm some goddamn monster, but youβre the one who signed that letter. you put your name on it. you confessed. and then what? you wanna play pretend now? pretend like none of this happened? likeΒ iΒ donβt matter?β
you turned sharply and stared up at him, eyes blazing.
βi wrote that letter toΒ sunghoon!β heeseungβs face fell for half a second, the kind of collapse that only someone whoβs pretending not to care can show.
βyeah,β he muttered, the anger sliding into something colder. βi know.β
βthen why are you acting like i betrayed you?β you asked, softer now. βyou knew from the start it wasnβt meant for you.β he looked at you for a long, long moment.
then his voice came quieter. rougher. βbecause i wanted it to be.β
the silence that followed was deafening. your lips parted, words stuck somewhere deep in your throat. he looked tired. not just physicallyβbut like the weight of everything was finally pressing down too hard.
βyou donβt get it,β he said, dragging a hand through his hair. βeveryone likes sunghoon, heβs perfect, polite, all the girls love him, but me? all they say is iβm violent, iβm trouble, i ruin everything i touch. but thenΒ youβ¦ you never looked at me, not once, and when you did, it wasnβt with fear. it wasnβt with hate. it was just you. like i was no one.β
he stepped closer again. his eyes searched yours.
βand then you left that stupid letter. and it had your name. and for a second, just one, I thought maybe,Β maybe,Β you saw me too...β you didnβt know what to say.
heβd never said things like this before. heβd never opened that part of himself, it felt raw, and heavy... and real.
and it hurt.
βheeseungβ¦β he shook his head and pulled back.
βdonβt pity me,β he whispered. βjust go.β
the weight of his words lingered in the air like smoke, thick and stinging and impossible to wave away, you didnβt move, you didnβt speak. the world around you kept breathing, leaves rustling, cars humming in the distance, the wind carrying whispers you couldnβt hear, but inside you, everything had gone terribly still.
heeseung had just told you he wanted to be the one you saw, the one you chose, and it didnβt sound like a plea.
it sounded like a wound.
your body moved before your mind could catch up, you stepped forward, slowly, gently, and reached out. his shoulders were tense under your fingers, rigid with pride or shame or anger, you didnβt know which. but when you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your cheek softly to his chest, he didnβt pull away. in fact, he froze, like the concept of being held was foreign, like affection wasnβt something he knew what to do with. and then, cautiously, his arms slid around your waist, locking you in like he was afraid youβd vanish if he loosened his grip for even a second.
βi know that letter wasnβt for me,β he murmured against your hair, his breath shaky and uneven. βbut it didnβt matter, i wanted to pretend, just for a bit... just long enough to feel like i mattered to you.β
your heart clenched at the honesty in his voice, he never talked like this, he neverΒ neededΒ anyone. yet here he was, folding himself into you like this was the only place he felt safe.
βbut today-...β he said, his jaw tightening again, βseeing you look at him like that, defending him, letting him be near you, when youβreΒ mine-... fuck, y/n, i hated it. i hated every second of it.β
you swallowed thickly, unsure what to say.
his hand slipped to your lower back, his thumb rubbing slow, nervous circles over your uniform.
βi donβt like it,β he confessed, softer this time, voice almost boyish, almost scared. βi donβt like when you look at someone else. i donβt like when you say another guyβs name. i know we started this weird, i know i forced it at first, but now, i canβt go back. i donβt want to.β
then, without warning, he shifted against you, his weight leaning into you as he rested his forehead on your shoulder. your breath hitched at the sensation, warm, real, soΒ heeseung.Β one of his hands trailed up to your jaw, tilting your face ever so slightly, and his lips barely grazed the shell of your ear. his voice dropped, low and broken and real.
βjust love me, y/n,β he whispered. βplease.β
your entire body flushed in an instant. his breath, warm and trembling, lingered against your skin. his words settled into your bones like heat in the middle of winter, slow and consuming and terrifying in how much you suddenly needed to believe them. you hadnβt expected it, not the way he said it, not the way he soundedΒ scaredΒ to lose you. not the way your chest ached with the realization that you already had one foot over the edge.
you pulled back slightly, just enough to see his face. his eyes werenβt cold now. they were dark and glassy and vulnerable, like he was offering you something fragile and asking you not to break it.
you didnβt say anything. you couldnβt.
instead, your hand rose to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing against the fading bruise there. his eyes closed for a brief second at the touch, as if memorizing it.
and when you leaned in, when your lips barely brushed his, when the kiss you shared was soft, deliberate, and painfully slow, he kissed you back like you were the only thing in the world that made sense.
no teasing this time. no wicked smirk.
just heeseung, holding you like you were something he never expected to have, but now couldnβt live without.
π author's note: hello everyone! i think this is the longest chapter iβve ever written, lol. i was considering splitting it into two parts and posting half of it in the next chapter, but i felt like everything was so intense that it had to stay together hahahaπ€£ by the way! i found the manga i told you about, the one that inspired the initial premise of this fic. i found it on my old wattpad account, itβs calledΒ namete kajitte tokidoki medete π«this fic is not entirely based on that manga!π«
to those who want to be on the taglist, i think iβve reached tumblrβs tagging limit. if anyone knows another way i can tag you, it would be amazing if you could let me knowπ«‘
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
the air was thick with late morning heat, and even though the sun hadnβt reached its peak, the gym felt like a furnace. the sharp scent of sweat and asphalt clung to the breeze, drifting lazily through the open fences that lined the schoolβs outdoor court. half the class was still jogging around the track, some dragging their feet, others pretending to run, while the faster studentsβthose with better staminaβhad already finished their laps and collapsed onto the metal bleachers.
jongseong leaned back with his arms behind him, his short-sleeved athletic shirt rolled tightly over his broad shoulders, exposing the defined lines of muscle that made more than one girl glance in his direction. he was smirking, breath still a little uneven from the last sprint, his eyes glinting with mischief.
next to him, jaeyun sat with one knee bent, the opposite pant leg pulled up haphazardly to his thigh, revealing toned calves and slightly bruised shins. he absentmindedly picked at the velcro on his sneakers, quiet, watching the others with a detached stare.
jungwon was fanning himself with his shirt, tugging the fabric back and forth, letting it rise just high enough to flash the lines of his abdomen. he didnβt seem to care who saw. in fact, the way he did it almost felt calculated. his hair stuck to his forehead, damp with sweat, but his smile stayed lazy and unbothered.
and then there was heeseung.
slouched low against the upper row of the bleachers, legs stretched out in front of him, arms crossed. his shirt clung to his chest and back from the heat, but he made no move to fan himself. his eyes were fixed somewhere in the distance, but he was listening. always listening.
βso,β jongseong said, his voice cutting through the buzz of sneakers pounding the court, βare you seriously dating her, or are you just dragging her around for fun?β
he snorted, clearly amused.
βlooked like you were pulling a hostage the way you grabbed her yesterday.β
jungwon barked a laugh.
βno shit. she looked like a scared kitten. that faceβpure βplease donβt kill meβ energy.β
he mimicked your expression dramatically, eyes wide and lips parted, making jongseong wheeze beside him. they were laughing now, openly, unfiltered, like this was just another casual game of banter.
but jaeyun didnβt laugh.
he was still, too still. his fingers froze on his shoe strap. he stared at the court, but his mind was clearly somewhere else.
you.
he was thinking about the look you gave him yesterday. that flicker of recognition. the way your eyes widened and then instantly dropped, like you'd touched a flame you werenβt ready for.
of course you remembered.
he knew it the second your gaze lingered on him. not like you had with the other guys. noβyou remembered everything.
his mouth felt dry. the sun pressed too hard on the back of his neck.
heeseung wasnβt laughing either.
his gaze slowly slid toward jaeyun, narrowing. he was good at reading people, always had been. and something in the way jaeyunβs shoulders tensed, in how he avoided eye contact, made alarm bells ring in the back of his skull.
he didnβt say anythingβyet.
but his eyes stayed locked on him, unblinking.
βyo,β jongseong said, wiping his face with his sleeve. βwhatβs her name again? the girl. your... girlfriend or whatever.β
heeseung finally looked away from jaeyun. his jaw flexed.
βy/n.β
jungwon hummed, stretching his arms behind his head.
βy/n, huh? where the hell did you find her?β
βjust appeared one day out of nowhere,β jongseong added, chuckling. βshy little thing. not really your type, man. you usually go for the loud ones.β
heeseungβs mouth twitchedβnot into a smile, but something unreadable, something almost thoughtful. he shifted on the bleachers, scratching the side of his neck, before dropping it casually:
βshe confessed through a letter.β
the silence was instant.
not dramatic, not gaspingβbut real. the kind that hung in the air for a beat too long, making the sweat feel colder on their skin.
jongseong blinked first. then his brows lifted.
βwaitβwhat?β
βyou mean... like a literal letter? the kind with stickers and glitter shit?β jungwon leaned forward, his shirt still half-lifted over his abs, voice laced with disbelief.
heeseung rolled his eyes but didnβt deny it.
βwhite envelope, pink hearts, handwriting and everything.β
another beat of silenceβthen they allΒ broke. jongseong doubled over with laughter, smacking his knee. jungwon slapped the metal bar behind him, choking on his own snort. even jaeyun, caught off guard, let out a dry, surprised soundβthough his eyes never met heeseungβs.
βbro, thatβs the oldest move in the fucking book,β jongseong wheezed, wiping fake tears from his eyes. βthatβs elementary school shit, are you serious?β
βno way,β jungwon added between laughs. βyou fell for that? a letter? next sheβs gonna be passing notes under your desk asking if you like her: yes, no, or maybe.β
βholy shit,β jongseong continued, gasping for air. βwhat are you, twelve?β
they were relentless, the kind of laughter that echoed down the court and rang between the bars of the bleachers like a joke that wouldnβt die. heeseung didnβt laugh with them. he didnβt even smile.
his jaw tightened again. his fingers curled slightly against his thigh.
but he let them laugh. for now.
becauseΒ none of them knewΒ the letter wasnβt meant for him. and if they did, if even one of them found outβ
heβd shut that laugh right out of their mouths.
his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, slow, deliberate. his eyes drifted back to jaeyunβwho was still staring at the track like it had answers for questions he hadnβt asked aloud.
what was that look yesterday?
what the hell does he know?
before the tension could stretch thinner, a sharp whistle blew across the court.
βlee heeseung! sim jake! park jongseong and yang jungwon! back on the track!β
the coachβs voice barked through the humid air. the rest of the boys groaned as they stood, brushing dust from their legs and shoulders. jaeyun blinked and finally looked up.
heeseung didnβt break eye contact when he passed him.
but he didnβt ask anythingβnot yet.
he shouldnβt have looked at you, not for as long as he did, not in front of heeseung. but the second your eyes met hisβwide, startled,Β familiarβhe felt something seize in his chest, like a thread being yanked tight from a place he thought had been buried under months of silence.
becauseΒ of courseΒ you remembered him.
how could you not?
he still remembered everything about that morning, too. the way your backpack bounced against your back as you sprinted across the pavement, hair messy, expression panicked, like the world was about to end if you didnβt reach the school gates in time.
he remembered because you lookedΒ nothingΒ like the quiet girl everyone claimed you were. that day, you looked alive. desperate. out of breath and out of patience.
and desperate people did things they normally wouldnβt do.
you had snuck in through the back gate. the one behind the music buildingβalways left cracked open by lazy maintenance workers. it wasnβt allowed, everyone knew that. but you clearly didnβt care. youβd looked behind you once, saw no teachers around, and slipped through, clutching your backpack like a shield.
he hadnβt meant to be there either. but he was. and so wasΒ that other guy.
jaeyun didnβt even remember his name anymore. didnβt care. all he remembered was the way the guy flinched under his fists, arms raised in surrender, whimpering like a dog that got too brave.
βdonβt ever talk to chaeyoung like that again, you fucking freak,β heβd said through gritted teeth, pressing him against the concrete wall. βsay one more word about her and iβll bury your tongue under the soccer field.β
the guy had been trembling, red-faced and bleeding from the nose.
βi wonβt, i swear, i wonβtβplease, manββ
βgo to the infirmary. tell them you tripped on the stairs or something. if i hear my name come out of your mouth again, iβll break your jaw next time.β
the guy stumbled away, practically limping, clutching his face and nodding like his head was about to fall off.
and then, he saw you. frozen. staring.
eyes wide. lips parted. shoulders pulled up like a deer cornered on a highway.
βshit,β heβd whispered to himself, blinking.
you were already turning to run.
βwaitβhey! stop!β his voice had been sharp, not loud, but enough to make you halt. only barely. you looked like you were deciding whether to bolt or cry. maybe both.
he jogged up to you, lifting his hands in a half-assed attempt to look less threatening.
βyou saw something you werenβt supposed to.β you stepped back, heart hammering.
βi didnβt see anythingβi swearβi won't tell, i swear i wonβt say anythingββ your voice was rushed, shaky.
he tilted his head, eyes narrowing as he looked you up and down. not in the way most guys did. not predatory. just calculating. because he recognized you now. the quiet one. the one people said never talked.
βwell,β he said after a pause, βyou were doing something you werenβt supposed to, too.β your face paled.
he gestured casually to the back gate behind you.
βpretty sure students arenβt allowed to sneak in through that entrance. pretty sure i could get you inΒ a lotΒ of trouble if i said something.β you bit your lip. silence settled between you, thick and heavy.
then, timidly, you whispered:
βi wonβt tell if you donβt.β he smiled. not smug. justβ¦ intrigued.
βdeal.β he held out his hand.
you stared at it like it was a snake. but after a second of hesitation, you lifted yours and shook it.
it was small. cold. trembling.
his grip had been warm. steady. confident.
no more words were exchanged after that. no promises written in blood or cryptic threats. just that quiet, unofficial vow that neither of you ever mentioned again.
until now.
until this exact moment, watching you get dragged by the wrist by lee fucking heeseungβeyes downcast, lips pressed together in that same panicked silenceβ and jaeyun felt it again.
the weight of what you both knew.
and heeseung noticed the way he looked at you.
jaeyun felt it in the back of his neck. the heat. the suspicion.
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
his words kept echoing inside your head like a broken record on loop, not loud, but persistent βwhat if i do like you?β and no matter how many times you tried to push it away, the sound clung to the back of your mind like a stubborn shadow.
you were sitting on the metal bleachers behind the gym, the sun dull and heavy overhead, your knees pulled up and your fingers twisting around the soft edge of your skirt, trying to ground yourself in something that wasnβt him. beside you, yoojung was half-watching the boys playing soccer, pretending not to glance at your face every few seconds, while hyojung scrolled aimlessly through her phone. neither of them spoke at first. they gave you spaceβuntil they couldnβt anymore.
βyouβve been weird all morning,β yoojung muttered, nudging your arm gently with hers. βwhatβs going on with you?β
you didnβt look up, just shook your head a little, voice low. βnothing. iβm fine.β
βis it because of heeseung?β hyojung asked this time, not unkindly, just careful. βdid you guysβ¦ like, break up or something?β
that wordβbreak upβfelt too big, too official, too real. you didnβt know what you were with him. you barely knew what he was doing in your life at all. he didnβt walk you home yesterday. he hadnβt barged into your class this morning. he hadnβt even looked for you. and maybe that was normal for other people, but for himβ¦ it meant something. it meant silence. it meant absence. and that scared you.
you stayed quiet.
they looked at each other over your head, eyes flickering, sending whatever silent warning girls share when they know not to push too far. yoojung sighed and leaned back, stretching her arms behind her.
you looked down at your hands. the pink carton of strawberry milk was still cradled between your palms, half-warm from your touch. you hadnβt opened it. you hadnβt thrown it away either. justβ¦ held onto it. like it meant something. and maybe it did.Β he noticed that i always drink this.Β that one detail, small and stupid, made your chest ache in a way you werenβt prepared for. because it meant heβd been watching. heβd seen youβquiet, ordinary youβwhen no one else did.
and now you didnβt know what to feel about it.
meanwhile, at the very edge of campus behind the old storage building, heeseung leaned against a brick wall, long legs crossed at the ankles, a cherry lollipop tucked between his lips. he watched his friends pass around a cigarette, the smoke curling lazily into the muggy afternoon air. he didnβt want it. hadnβt wanted it in a while. the scent clung to everythingβskin, clothes, breath. and lately, he hated the way it tasted. like ash. like guilt.
βyou gonna take a hit or just stand there looking pretty?β jaeyun teased, exhaling smoke through his nose as he offered the cigarette toward him.
βcigarettes make your mouth smell like shit.β heeseung didnβt even glance at it.
jongseong barked a laugh. βwhat, were you expecting it to taste like roses?β
heeseung rolled his eyes and let the lollipop click against his teeth, his tone flat. βroses would still be better than shit.β
jungwon grinned from where he sat crouched on a low crate, flicking ash into a crushed soda can. βohhh, i get it. so you wanna have a fresh mouth to kiss someone, huh?β
heeseung clicked his tongue, a warning in his expression, and raised a hand to lightly smack jungwon on the back of the head.
βdonβt be annoying.β
jaeyun leaned in, squinting at him. βnah, heβs been weird lately. different. youβre all moody and shit. like, more than usual. whatβs up with that?β
heeseung hesitated for a beat, tapping the stick of the lollipop against his front teeth. then, without looking at them, he muttered βiβm... seeing someone.β
the silence that followed was sharp.
βwait, what?β jongseong blinked.
βfor real? like, actually dating?β jungwon tilted his head.
heeseung gave a small nod, eyes flicking up toward the sky as if bored.
jaeyun whooped. βohhhh.Β thatβsΒ why you didnβt wanna go to the thing with the girls from wonhwa! sneaky bastard! you shouldβve told us sooner.β
heeseung didnβt reply.
βso? who is she?β jongseong pressed. βis she from our school?β
βyeah...β
βis she hot?β jaeyun smirked. βdid you hit already?β
the lollipop stopped moving in heeseungβs mouth. his jaw clenched slowly, then he turned his head, eyes hardening into something sharp and unreadable as he stared straight at jaeyun.
βdonβt talk about her like that.β the tone was calm. quiet. dangerous.
βshit, alright. chill. didnβt think youβd get all protective.β jaeyun raised his hands, half-laughing, but the tension in the air had shifted.
βmanβ¦ thatβsΒ weird.Β usually youβd only answer the last question.β jongseong shook his head, watching him with a half-smile.
heeseung didnβt deny it. didnβt smile. didnβt say anything at all. instead, he went back to sucking on the lollipop, looking off into the trees, where the shadows flickered in the wind.
he didnβt care if they thought it was weird.
because for the first time, this wasnβt just about proving something.
this wasnβt just a game.
your steps were slow, scattered, barely in sync with the hallway's rhythm as the last bell echoed in the distance. classes were over, but your mind wasnβt. it was still trapped back in that corridor, tangled in the words heeseung had whispered like a warning or a promise.Β βiβll make you cry.β
you didnβt know how to feel. were you supposed to be scared? offended? intrigued? your chest had tightened like you were walking on a wire, teetering between dread and something that felt dangerously close toβ¦ longing. it was wrong. it didnβt make sense. and yet, your body remembered the weight of his stare, the rasp of his voice, the warmth of his hand around your wrist.
you sighed softly, so lost in your spiraling thoughts that you didnβt notice the corner you were turningβuntil you slammed into someone.
a soft gasp escaped you. the impact made your heart stutter, your cheeks flare hot, and when you looked up, your breath caught in your throat.
park sunghoon.
βwoah, careful there,β he said with a gentle chuckle, steadying you by your arms.
he was close. closer than heβd ever been. and you could smell his cologneβsomething fresh, clean, almost too perfect.
you stumbled a few steps back, stammering an apology you couldnβt even finish. βiβiβm sorry, i didnβt seeββ
your backpack had bounced awkwardly from the sudden stop, and you didnβt notice the small plush keychain that fell from its zipper until sunghoon bent down to pick it up. he held it between his fingers for a second longer than expected, eyebrows raised in amusement.
βthis yours?β he asked, holding up the small yellow star with the smiling face.
you nodded weakly. your throat felt tight.
he laughed, soft and kind, the sound stirring something tender in your stomach. then he lifted the plush beside your face, tilting his head. βlooks just like you.β
your whole body flushed. not just your cheeksβeverything. from the tips of your ears to your fingertips.
that smileβ¦
your heart drummed against your ribs, desperate to escape. it was like no time had passed. like the feelings youβd tried to bury were clawing their way back to the surface, alive and sweet and cruel.Β what ifβ¦ what if he had read the letter?
what if it had been his locker?
you tightened your lips, the thought digging a sharp ache into your chest. sunghoon placed the keychain in your palm gently, brushing your skin just barely.
βsee you,β he said, and walked away with a smile that left your thoughts scrambled.
you stood there for a moment, dazed, the star plush resting in your hand like a secret you couldnβt keep anymore. then you turned slowly and made your way to the school gates, trying to breathe, trying to thinkβ
and stopped.
because you saw him.
heeseung.
standing just past the gate with his usual slouch, hands in his pockets, hair messy, face unreadable. but when he spotted you, his posture snapped straight and he started walkingβfast.
you blinked, startled, your feet frozen in place.
βwhere were you? i was waiting for you outside the classroomβ he asked, not quite yelling but not gentle either.
you frowned. βwhy?β
he gave you a look, like the question offended him. βwhat do you mean why? i was gonna walk you home.β
you hesitated. your instincts told you to say no. to make up an excuse, to escape before his presence overwhelmed you again. but before the words left your mouth, he reached out and grabbed your wrist.
βheyβlet go,β you protested softly, trying to pull back.
βstop fighting,β he muttered, dragging you gently but firmly down the steps.
you turned to him, your voice trembling. βyou said you wouldnβt do anything i didnβt wantββ
βand you walked off without saying anything,β he snapped, his jaw tightening. βthat pissed me off.β
you stared at him, really stared. at the furrow of his brows, the tension in his shoulders, the way his eyes burned ahead like the world owed him something.
he was not like sunghoon.
not in the way he looked at you. not in the way he touched you.
and yet⦠you were his girlfriend. he had kissed you. he was the one taking you home.
heeseung wasnβt saying much now. but his grip on your wrist softened slightly as the school gates closed behind you. the cool breeze of late afternoon brushing against your skin did nothing to ease the heat in your chest.
as you passed a group of students near the front gate, you caught the familiar voices of his friendsβjungwon, jongseong, and jaeyun. they all stopped talking when they saw you. they werenβt even subtle about it. you felt their eyes on you like a weight.
but it wasnβt until your gaze landed onΒ jaeyunΒ that your heart dropped.
his eyes widened the second they met yours, recognition flickering behind them like a switch being flipped.
you stared back. shocked.
you hadnβt seen that face in a long time, and it stirred something old and sharp and buried deepβsomething youβd locked away for good reason.
you quickly looked away. pretended you didnβt notice the way his expression faltered. but your stomach turned with unease.
you hadnβt known jaeyun was friends with heeseung.
and now that you didβ¦
you couldnβt help but remember everything youβd promised to forget.
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
π§ confident by justin bieber playing in the background...
i was used to being watched.
that sounds cocky as hell, but itβs just the truth. it was always like that. ever since i hit that growth spurt, ever since i started fighting back and didnβt give a damn what the teachers saidβpeople started noticing. and girls? girls always noticed, some whispered, some stared, some smiled too long, i didnβt mind it. i liked it, actually. attention never felt like a bad thing to me, i played into it, fed off it, if someone wanted to fall in love with the version of me they made up in their heads, i didnβt stop them. i dated when i felt like it. dumped them when they got too clingy. rinse and repeat. nothing new.
then there wasΒ her.
at first, i didnβt notice her, not really, she wasnβt the kind of girl who walked in and made the room pause. she didnβt laugh loudly or flip her hair on purpose, she didnβt wear short skirts or lip gloss or whatever the hell was trending that week, she didnβt even try to look my way when i passed her in the hall, not even a glance. nothing.
and that bothered me.
i donβt know why.
maybe it shouldnβt have. but it did.
the first time i actuallyΒ sawΒ her, she was sitting in the second-to-last row, bent over her notes like the world might end if she didnβt write fast enough. her hair was tied up, kind of messy, and there were these tiny creases on her forehead like she was overthinking every word. she didnβt look up once. not even when someone behind her dropped a book or when i walked past her desk, it was like i didnβt exist.
and that was new.
that wasΒ interesting.
so, i started watching her, not like a creep or anythingβjust... noticing? from a distance, during lunch, in the gym, after class. she never hung around big groups, always stuck to the same two girls, her laugh was small, soft, and whenever someone bumped into her by accident, she apologized firstβeven if it wasnβt her fault.
then came sports week.
i remember her during the relay race. she was on the team but couldnβt finish the circuit. tripped halfway through and scraped her knee, got up and tried to keep going even though she was clearly shaken. no one said anything harsh, but i heard the pity in their voices.Β poor thing. she tried, at least.Β i saw the way she laughed it off, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. i watched the whole thing from the bleachers, arms crossed, pretending not to care. but something about the way she stood thereβtrying not to cry in front of everyoneβstuck in my head longer than i liked.
still, even then, she didnβt look at me. like i wasnβt even in her universe.
so yeah. when that white envelope with the dumb little hearts showed up in my locker and signed with her name? that shit hit different.
i almost didnβt believe it. i even checked if it was a joke. but noβher handwriting, her words, the way she poured herself onto the page like it meant something... it wasΒ real. and my first thought?
she finally noticed me.
i shouldβve thrown it out. shouldβve ignored it. but it was good for my ego, alright? the girl who never looked my wayβthe one i was convinced didnβt even know i existedβconfessing through a letter like some cheesy old romance manga? hell no, i wasnβt letting that go.
i accepted immediately. obviously. maybe i didnβt ask... maybe i forced it a little... but i said yes, i claimed her, i didnβt even think twice.
but then⦠then came the punch to the gut.
when she stood in front of me, red-faced and trembling, asking for her letter back like it was some kind of mistake, i already knew something was off. the way she avoided eye contact, the way her voice cracked when she said,Β "that letterβ¦ it wasnβt meant for you."
i smirked, played it cool, shrugged like it didnβt mean shit.
until she said that name.
park sunghoon.
i swear, i almost fucking gagged.
him?
that stiff little robot? the teacherβs pet with the perfect smile and boring ass haircut?Β thatβsΒ who she was trying to confess to? i wanted to punch a locker. or throw up. or both. it wasnβt even jealousyβit was insult. sunghoon was everything iΒ wasnβt. quiet, polished, fake as hell. i couldnβt wrap my head around it. was that really the type of guy she liked? what the hell did that mean about me?
still, i kept my face straight. acted like it didnβt bother me. but inside, something snapped.
nah. fuck that.
if she wanted perfect, she could go find it. but she wrote that letter.Β to me.Β maybe by accident, maybe not. either way, the moment it touched my hands, it became mine. and if i had to prove to her that i was worth more than whatever stupid fantasy she had about sunghoon, iβd do itβmy way.
she wanted a prince? too bad.
she got me instead.
and now she was gonna learn what it meant to be wanted for real.
you didnβt see him that afternoon. not outside your classroom, not leaning by the gates like he sometimes did when he was trying to seem like he wasnβt waiting for youβwhen heβd glance away the second you looked in his direction, only to fall into step beside you like it was all a coincidence. this time, he wasnβt anywhere.
you even lingered by the courtyard longer than you should have, pretending to tie your shoelaces while scanning the crowd. but your chest tightened the longer you stood there alone, and the noise of the other students around you only made your solitude feel louder. heeseung had vanished, and with him, so had the fragile, stupid hope that had started blooming inside your chest these past days. your steps felt heavier as you walked home, the sun already dipping low. and all you could think about was how mina and chaeyeon had been right.
you were just a game.
a distraction. something temporary. something replaceable. your throat burned, but you kept walking.
meanwhile, heeseung sat sprawled on the sidewalk curb behind the convenience store near the station, hoodie pulled halfway over his head, eyes trained on nothing in particular. jaeyun was talking too much, his voice animated, practically bouncing with anticipation.
βso, saturday,β jaeyun started, picking at the edge of a sticker on his water bottle, βweβre heading out with those girls from wonhwa, right?β
jungwon nodded lazily, leaning back on his elbows. βthe ones from the cheer squad?β
jaeyun grinned. βhell yeah. the girl in the pink skirt? sheβs insane. swear to god. heard sheβs crazy in bed.β
jungwon snorted. βand who told you that, her ex-boyfriend?β
βdude, herΒ friendΒ told jongseong, and he told me. itβs legit.β jongseong raised an eyebrow but didnβt deny it, just gave a half-smile and went back to scrolling through his phone. the other two laughed easily, the air between them thick with lazy confidence. boys talking like boys do when they think no oneβs listeningβor that no one will care what they say.
heeseung didnβt laugh. didnβt smirk. didnβt even flinch. he just stared ahead at the faded white lines of the parking lot.
jongseong eventually looked up. βyo, hee. you good? youβre coming saturday, right?β
βno. iβm not going.β heeseung shook his head, barely moving.
jungwon sat up straighter. βwait, why?β
β...β heeseung didnβt answer right away. his jaw tensed slightly. then he shrugged. βnot interested.β
jaeyun blinked, then laughed. βwhat do you mean not interested? since when do you need toΒ beΒ interested? youβve gone out with girls you didnβt even know before.β
jongseong added with a grin, βyeah, whatβs the big deal? itβs not like itβs your first time ditching someone to hook up.β
they all laughed againβexcept heeseung. he sat there, silent, still.
then slowly, he lifted his head and looked at them. not smiling. not playing.
βwhat part ofΒ iβm not fucking goingΒ didnβt you idiots understand?β
his voice was low, evenβbut sharp enough to cut the air clean through. the group fell completely silent. jaeyun stopped smiling. jungwon blinked, startled. jongseong looked away, clearing his throat. nobody said another word. and heeseung leaned back again, pulling his hood lower, eyes burning into the pavement, thinking only of you.
the next morning, you kept your head down as you walked into school. there was a heavy feeling sitting in your chest, something like dread, something like disappointment, and you tried not to look for him, tried to tell yourself you didnβt careβbut your eyes still scanned the hallway against your will. and thatβs when you saw him.
lee heeseung.
he was already standing by his locker, hands shoved into his hoodie pocket, his weight leaning slightly on one leg, gaze unreadable. he wasnβt smirking, he wasnβt cocky, he just watched you as you approached, not saying anything at first.
you stopped a few feet away, hesitating.
then, wordlessly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small pink carton. strawberry milk... your favorite.
βi know itβs your favorite.β your eyes flicked from the carton to his face, unsure. you hesitated before taking it, your voice barely a whisper.
βhow do you know that?β he didnβt meet your eyes right away. he looked past you, at the crowd moving behind you, like he was avoiding something.
βyou always drink it.β your heart stuttered in your chest. a small, stupid detailβbut the fact that he noticedβ¦ that he rememberedβ¦ it made something tighten in your throat. but the weight of what the girls had told you just days ago came rushing back, slicing through the warmth before it could settle. your fingers clenched slightly around the carton. you looked down.
βgive me back the letter, please...β
βwhat?β his brows lifted slightly.
βthe letter,β you repeated, firmer this time. βplease, give it back.β
his expression darkened with amusement, and he leaned his back against the locker behind him, tilting his head like he found this whole thing funny. you hated the way he was looking at youβlike he was already several steps ahead in a game you didnβt want to play.
βwhy?β he asked. βyou want it so bad?β you nodded, fists clenched at your sides, but your lips trembled. he stared at you for a second longer, then slowly turned to his own locker, spun the dial with practiced ease, and popped it open.
for a moment, your breath held. and then he reached inside and pulled out the folded, heart-stamped letterβthe one you wrote with shaking hands under your blanket that night, the one where you confessed everything with every ounce of courage you had. he held it like it was nothing. like it wasnβt your whole heart in a piece of paper.
βif you want it so bad,β he said, voice lower now, playful and sharp, βthen take it.β before you could even move, he slipped it under his hoodie, tucking it inside his shirtβright against his chest. your eyes went wide, your entire face flushing instantly.
βw-whatβ?β
βgo ahead,β he said, stepping a little closer, smiling with that same dangerous smirk he always wore when he had the upper hand. βif you can pull it out, iβll give it back. and iβll even stop bothering you. weβll be done.β
your heart was racing too fast. your skin burned. this was humiliating, ridiculous, twisted, and yet you couldnβt look away from him. you hated the challenge in his tone, hated how confident he was, hated the flicker of something hot in your stomach as he leaned forward slightly, daring you with his eyes.
your hand trembled as you lifted it, halfway to reaching out. his grin widened, watching you like a predator watching prey hesitate at the edge of the trap.
but before you could even touch him, your hand dropped, and your voice broke.
βiβi...β you whispered softly. βi canβt...β you turned away, face burning, eyes filling with tears you didnβt want to show. βi-i canβt do it, this is too muchββ
he laughed. really laughed, the sound echoing down the hallway, rich and cruel and amused beyond belief.
βdamn,β he said, shaking his head. βlooks like you lost.β
he leaned forward again, tone light but eyes sharp.
βguess weβre still dating.β you spun to face him, fists clenched now for a different reason, voice cracking with anger and something deeperβsomething breaking.
βheeseung... i know you donβt like me.β he looked up.
you forced yourself to continue, even as your chest burned, your voice trembling.
βyou donβt see me that way... youβre just playing! and iβm tired of being in your stupid little game.β he didnβt react at first. didnβt smirk. didnβt roll his eyes or scoff. he just stared at you, and when he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than you expected.
βwhat if i do like you?β you froze.
he stepped a little closer, but not enough to touch you. just enough to make you feel the weight of his presence again.
βis this about the rumors?β
you didnβt answer, but the way your eyes dropped told him everything.
βwhat people say about meβ¦ they donβt know me. they donβt know how i act when i actuallyΒ care. theyβve only seen the worst parts of meβand yeah, thereβs a lot of that. i know. but theyβre not in this.Β youΒ are. and the only person you should be listening toβ¦ is your boyfriend.β
you looked up, startled, your breath catching at that word.
he let that hang in the air before continuing, his voice low, almost careful.
βiβm rough sometimes, maybe too much, i get angry fast, i donβt always say the right thing, and yeah, i kissed you first. maybe i shouldnβt have. but i did... and i donβt regret it.β
you bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to cry.
βi wonβt do it again,β he added, more gently now. βnot unless you want me to.β
there was a pause, long, heavy, your heart was pounding in your ears. and for the first time, you saw something fragile behind his eyes. not regretβbutΒ fear. not fear of you leaving, but fear of being real with you. of lowering the mask and not knowing if youβd still choose him once you saw everything underneath.
and maybe thatβs what made you hesitate.
heeseung reached under his shirt again and pulled the letter outβcreased, warm from his skin, but still intact. he held it in front of your face, not letting go of it.
βthis is proof,Β youΒ wrote it, Β youΒ confessed first, you wanted this.β
βiβi didnβt mean it likeββ
βdoesnβt matter,β he cut in, lips curling at the edges. βyou said you wanted to be with someone, that's me, you wanted to make me happy, you wrote all that.β
you looked away, embarrassed beyond belief, but he stepped closer again and tilted your chin up gently with two fingers, making you look at him.
βso,β he said, soft but firm. βofficially. youβre mine now.β
he didnβt move, not even an inch, as you stood frozen in front of him, his fingers still curled lightly around your chin, gaze heavy like iron on your skin. and then his lips curled into that same slow, deliberate smirk that made your stomach twist.
βyouβll keep being my girlfriend,β he murmured, voice low and dangerous, βifΒ you can last until the end.β
he took another step, the space between you vanishing, your backs nearly brushing the lockers behind you as the toes of his shoes met yours. he leaned in, close enough that you could feel the heat of his body seep into yours, close enough that his breath ghosted against your cheek when he spoke again, quieter this time, like a threat whispered in secret.
βiβll give the letter back. but if you canβtβ¦β his hand slid up, fingers hooking beneath your chin again, lifting it with more pressure this time until your eyes were locked on his, unable to look away, heart pounding in your throat. ββ¦then iβll make you cry.β
your breath hitched. you didnβt understand how someone could say something like that so calmly, so easily, with a look that made it impossible to know if he meant it as a joke or a promise. his face dipped closer, inch by inch, until the space between your mouths was barely a breathβtoo close, tooΒ intimate, and your mind screamed that he was going to do it again, that heβd steal another kiss, that you were cornered and trapped and tremblingβ
βnoooo!!β
your voice cracked like thunder in the hallway as you shoved him with both hands, hard enough that he staggered back a step, shocked. your eyes burned with tears, your cheeks flushed with fury and humiliation as you shouted, voice breaking:
βyou said you wouldnβt do it if i didnβt want to!!β
you didnβt wait for a response. you didnβt look at him. you turned on your heel and ran, tears blurring your vision as your footsteps echoed down the hallway, heart racing, lungs burning, your body moving faster than your thoughts.
behind you, heeseung stood still for a second. and then he smiled. not a soft smile. not one of kindness or regret. but something darker. something likeΒ triumph. because even after all that, even after your scream and your fear and your flightβheβd made you feel something.
hii!! may i ask if you have a set schedule for posting lettre pour toi or do you post them as soon as you finish writing each part? (i loveeee it sm btwπ)
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β a misdelivered love letter, a misunderstood bad boy, and the kind of tension that only high school hallways can create. β
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: bad boy!heeseung x fem!reader
genre: fluff, slowburn, romance, angst, hurt/comfort, school au, emotional tension.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance, jealousy, rumors, insecurity, toxic behavior (gradual development), implied first love, violence (light), reader anxiety.
want to be added to theΒ lettre pour toiΒ taglist? send me an ask or reply toΒ this post!
find the letters...
β¦ lettre une π
summary: you write a love letter for park sunghoonβ¦ but it ends up in someone elseβs locker.
wc: 5k
π read here!
β¦ lettre deux π
summary: heeseung declares you're his girlfriend, and everyone begins to talk β especially chaeyeon and mina, who warn you about all the rumors surrounding him.
wc: 2,3k
π read here!
β¦ lettre trois π
summary: when you confront heeseung to get your letter back, he refuses, teasing you before boldly claiming you as his girlfriend. despite your protests, he says the moment you wrote that letter, you became hisβofficially.
wc: 3k
π read here!
β¦ lettre quatre π
summary: fleeting encounters with sunghoon stir feelings you thought were gone, while a mysterious connection with jaeyun begins to surface⦠what will it lead to?
wc: 1,7k
π read here!
β¦ lettre extra π
summary: the day you first met jaeyun and the secret promise you made back then resurface⦠how will heeseung react when the truth comes to light?
wc: 1,7k
π read here!
β¦ lettre cinq π
summary: your first date with heeseung feels unexpectedly sweet, but repeated encounters with sunghoon stir up old feelings and confusion. when heeseung notices, his reaction makes you wonder... is he really the monster everyone talks about, or is there more to him than meets the eye?
summary: a shy high school senior accidentally slips a love letter into the wrong locker, thinking it belongs to her crush park sunghoon β but instead, it ends up in the hands of lee heeseung, a notorious delinquent who takes the letter seriously and declares them a couple on the spot, starting an unexpected and chaotic love story.
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, romance, fluff, crack, slowburn, light angst.
warnings: delinquent!heeseung, possessive behavior, kissing, stolen first kiss, mild language, emotional tension, misunderstandings, power imbalance.
you didnβt sleep. not really. you tossed and turned all night, your heart too loud, your lips still tingling, your brain replaying the moment over and over again β the warmth of his mouth, the way he pulled you against him, the look in his eyes when he said you tasted sweet. you buried your face in your pillow in humiliation every time your thoughts drifted back to the kiss, and you couldnβt believe it. your first kiss.Β your first real kiss.Β and it had been taken from you.Β stolenΒ by someone you didnβt even like, didnβt even know, someone who had laughed while doing it and walked away like it was nothing. your stomach twisted with the memory, and by the time your alarm rang, you were exhausted and on the verge of tears.
stepping into the classroom felt like dragging your body to a courtroom. every step was heavy, every breath shallow. you kept your head low and made a beeline for your desk, gripping your bag tightly, hoping no one had heard or seen anything. but yoojung and hyojung were already there, and the second they saw your face, they knew something was wrong.
you didnβt want to say it, but it slipped out, your voice cracking the moment the words hit the air. "heβ¦ he kissed me."
they froze. yoojungβs eyes widened, hyojung dropped her pen, and the silence stretched for a beat too long.
"heΒ what?" yoojung asked, her voice rising, eyebrows furrowing in disbelief.
"he kissed me," you repeated, softer this time, almost in a whisper, like saying it louder would make it more real. your hands trembled slightly as you clutched your bag, your eyes stinging with shame. "i didnβt want him to. he justβ pulled me close andβ¦ and it happened. i didnβt even see it coming. iβ iβve neverβ¦ it was my firstβ" you stopped, voice breaking. the tears were right there now, trembling on your lashes.
"that asshole," hyojung hissed, slamming her book shut. "what kind of psycho does that?!"
"i swear to god, iβm going to kick his face in," yoojung snapped, already halfway out of her chair. "he canβt do that. heΒ canβt. you didnβt even agree to date him, you didnβt want this!"
"heβs a damn delinquent!" hyojung added. "you donβtΒ deserveΒ this, y/n. youβre not someone he can justβ"
but before she could finish, the classroom door opened, and a hush fell over the room like a cold wind. you didnβt have to turn around. you felt it. the shift in energy. the ripple of tension that rolled through your classmates as they all turned their heads toward the back.
he was here.
lee heeseung.
he didnβt knock. didnβt ask. didnβt say anything as he strolled into the room like he owned the place. your heart dropped into your stomach as you watched him scan the desks β and when his eyes landed on yours, his expression shifted into something unreadable, something dark and vaguely amused.
without a word, he marched toward your desk, stopping in front of the seat just ahead of yours. a guy was sitting there, mid conversation, when heeseung nudged the back of his chair with his foot β more like a small kick than a tap.
"move," he said simply.
the guy looked up, confused. "whatβ?"
"i saidΒ move," heeseung repeated, his voice calm, cold, like he wasnβt even angry β just done wasting time. the student stood up without further argument, clearly intimidated, and heeseung dropped into the chair, turning it around so he could lean forward against your desk, his chin resting on his arms as he looked up at you like you were the only person in the room.
"morning, babe," he said, like yesterday hadnβt happened, like stealing your kiss hadnβt meant anything, like pushing someone out of their seat wasnβt worth blinking over.
you shrank in your seat, your eyes darting to your friends for help, but yoojung looked frozen, and hyojungβs expression was somewhere between panic and disbelief. everyone was watching.Β everyone.Β some eyes filled with confusion, others with judgment, most with fear. and pity. god, theΒ pityΒ was the worst. murmurs erupted across the classroom almost instantly.
"you sleep okay?" he asked, like you were catching up after a nice date and not a mental breakdown.
you didnβt answer. couldnβt. your hands were trembling under the desk.
"you look like shit," he added, not unkindlyβbut not kindly either. just saying it. stating a fact. his voice dropped a little lower. "you think too much. stop doing that."
you blinked. slowly. did he know you barely slept? or was he just⦠guessing? either way, it felt wrong how he said it. too familiar. too intimate. the way people were still staring at you both like you were some kind of bizarre horror show only made it worse.
you heard someone whisper behind you.
"is that really her boyfriend?"
"how did she even getΒ him?"
"heeseung? no wayβ¦"
he turned his head, slowly, toward the group of girls sitting to the left. locked eyes with the one who just whispered. silence fell again like a blanket of ice.
"wanna shut up?" he said calmly, but his tone was razor sharp, cold and dangerous in a way that made the girl shrink back in her seat immediately. "youβre irritating me."
your whole body tensed, unable to breathe. was he serious? what was this? why did it feel like he was playing a game you didnβt understand?
before you could say anything, the classroom door opened and the teacher entered, eyes narrowing when he noticed the unexpected visitor.
"lee heeseung," the teacher said, clearly annoyed. "youβre not even in this class. get out."
heeseung stood up slowly, scraping the chair back with a screech that echoed through the silent room. he didnβt look at the teacher. only at you. eyes unwavering.
"iβll see you at break," he said. "donβt run this time."
and just like that, he left. you felt like collapsing.
and true to his word β he was waiting when the lunch bell rang.
you tried to escape. really, you did. you held onto your friendsβ sleeves like lifelines, whispering that maybe if you stuck together, you could lose him in the crowd. but he was already leaning against the wall right outside your door, arms crossed, head tilted, watching every student exit until his eyes landed onΒ you. he pushed off the wall immediately and stalked over, grabbing your arm before you could bolt.
"where do you think youβre going?" he asked, not unkindly, but firmly, like you were being ridiculous for even thinking of hiding. then he turned to your friends and added, "go. iβm having lunch with my girlfriend. so scram."
yoojung opened her mouth to protest, but one look from him shut her right back up. hyojung hesitated, gave you an apologetic look, and tugged yoojung away reluctantly.
you didnβt say anything as he walked with you to the cafeteria, his hand still wrapped around your wrist, his grip steady but not painful. people were watching. people wereΒ whispering. you felt like you were floating in a nightmare, unable to ground yourself.
then, as if nothing had happened, heeseung shoved himself to the front of the cafeteria line, pushing aside a group of startled first-years. they didnβt even complain β just stepped back in silence, clearly too scared to say anything.
you stood behind him, frozen and pale, trying not to cry from sheer embarrassment.
he dropped your tray on the table with a loudΒ clackΒ and sat down across from you, already digging into his food with zero shame. you stared at him, still too stunned to sit, unsure if you were supposed to thank him or slap him.
you stared at him. stared at the food. stared at your hands in your lap.
everything about this β the way he forced people aside, how he pushed your friends away, the way he justΒ decidedΒ you were his β it wasnβt normal. it wasnβt okay.
"eat," he said, not looking up. "you didnβt eat breakfast, right? figured."
you slowly sat down, your hands stiff and unsure. your stomach churned. not from hunger, but from fear, humiliation, and whatever this twisted situation had become. the cafeteria buzzed around you, full of noise and life, but your table was a bubble of silence. no one dared sit nearby. people passed and stared, whispered and moved on. everyone knew who he was. and now, they knew you wereΒ his.
but he didnβt care. he ate like nothing mattered. like he was exactly where he wanted to be.
and for some reason you couldnβt explain, a small part of youβthe tiniest, most shameful partβwondered what would happen if youΒ didnβtΒ fight this.
because for the first time in your life⦠someone had claimed you.
and thatΒ someoneΒ was lee heeseung.
you didnβt eat. your fingers hovered over the tray for minutes that dragged like hours, your eyes flicking occasionally to heeseung as he ate like this was the most mundane thing in the world. he didn't say much while he chewed, just made these low, bored hums of satisfaction, like the food was halfway decent and that alone was enough to keep him in a good mood.
you hated that he looked so comfortable. you hated more that no one dared to come close, and that people kept staring at youβlike you were the stupid girl who got herself involved withΒ lee heeseung.
you hated the way your heart still hadn't stopped racing, the way your hands trembled under the table, the way you couldn't stop feeling like a rabbit locked in a cage with a wolf that had somehow decided not to eat youβyet.
you tried to keep your voice steady, but it cracked halfway through when you finally spoke, words barely louder than a whisper. βiβ¦ i didnβt write that letter for you.β
heeseung didnβt react at first. his spoon paused mid-air, still dripping a bit of soup, but his face remained unreadableβno twitch of irritation, no surprise, no hurt, just a kind of flat silence that suddenly made your skin crawl. the air between you shifted, like you had stepped into the wrong room of a dream. you tried again, swallowing thickly, your voice trembling more now.
βit was meant for someone else... park sunghoon. heβs a year above me... i mustβve put it in the wrong locker, iβ¦ i didnβt mean for you to find it...β
he lowered his spoon slowly, placed it onto the tray with a quiet clink, and leaned back in his chair as he studied your face. the silence between you stretched thinner and thinner until it was almost painful, and when he finally spoke, his tone was low, measured, almost casualβbut you could feel the pressure underneath it like a wire wrapped too tight.
βwhat?β
you blinked, confused. βwhat?β
he scoffed softly under his breath, tilted his head to one side, and gave you a look that made your chest tighten with something dangerously close to shame.
βso?β he said, shrugging like your entire emotional crisis was nothing more than a failed math quiz. βyou really think i care who youΒ meantΒ to give it to?β he leaned forward then, elbows on the table, hands clasped loosely in front of him like this was a negotiation heβd already won. βyou wrote it. you handed it in. it reachedΒ me. thatβs all that matters.β
you stared at him in disbelief, unsure if he was serious or just playing with you. βbutββ
βyou want it back?β he interrupted, voice sharp, not loud but firm. βyou want me to pretend i never saw it, that you never said those things, that you didnβt want someone to like you back so bad you poured your whole heart into a sheet of paper?β his eyes locked onto yours, intense and unblinking. βshould i crumple it up and throw it away? is that what you want?β
you didnβt know what to say. your lips parted, your breath caught. his words cut deeper than you expected. you wanted to scream at him, push him away, demand your letter back, deny everythingβbut the truth was, he wasnβt wrong. you hadΒ wantedΒ someone to see you. you hadΒ wantedΒ someone to choose you, to sayΒ yes, to make you feel like maybe you werenβt just background noise in everyone elseβs lives. but not like this.Β never like this.
heeseung leaned closer, lowering his voice until only you could hear.
βyou were brave to write that,β he said, eyes narrowing ever so slightly, like it actually mattered to him. βeven if youβre scared now, even if youβre trying to take it back. iβm not letting you.β
you snapped, finally, your fear twisting into something sharp in your throat. βyou donβt get to decide that!β you said, louder than you meant to. your face burned with frustration, and tears prickled behind your eyes. βyou donβt evenΒ know me!β
he paused. then smiled, slow and unbothered, tilting his head like youβd just challenged him to a game he already planned to win.
βthen letβs fix that.β
he stood abruptly, grabbed both trays, dumped them without a word, and returned to you, offering no explanation as he started walking. you stumbled after him, confused, overwhelmed, because you couldnβt justΒ sitΒ there after thatβbecause even if your instincts screamed to run, something darker and dumber kept your feet moving.
you flinched when he reached for your hand again, and this time he didnβt bother hiding his annoyance. he sighed, rolled his eyes, and gripped your sleeve instead.
βfine. donβt hold hands. yet. but iβm walking you home anyway. try not to cry about it.β
you didnβt respond. didnβt have the strength to argue. the walk outside felt surrealβyour feet barely touching the ground, your heart pounding in your ears. he didnβt say much, just kept pulling you along like it was his job, like your resistance wasnβt even part of the equation anymore.
you were stuffing your books into your locker with slow, deliberate movements, pretending not to notice the glances thrown your way, the whispers curling around the edges of the hallway like smokeβsoft but suffocating. it had only been a few days since the cafeteria incident, and yet it felt like everyone had an opinion about you. the shy girl who accidentally confessed to the wrong guy. the girl lee heeseung decided to claim.
you tried to focus on your breathing, on staying grounded, but the echo of his laugh, the way heβd looked at you like he was peeling away your skin to see what was underneathβit haunted you. and then, you felt them before you saw them. footsteps. that particular silence that people make when theyβreΒ aboutΒ to talk to you. and you turned slowly, already uneasy, already knowing.
chaeyeon and mina stood in front of you. two girls from your class. pretty, sharp-looking, and painfully familiar. it took you a second to remember whyβthen it clicked. they were the girls heeseung had shut down in front of the whole classroom, the ones who had whispered too loudly about him, aboutΒ you, and had earned a venomous glare and that cold, spine-chilling, βwanna shut up?β that had left the air in the room frozen for hours.
βhey,β mina said, soft but purposeful, folding her hands in front of her like she didnβt want to look threatening. βcan we talk to you for a sec?β
you swallowed hard, nodded slowly, heart already starting to beat faster. chaeyeon remained silent, arms crossed, her gaze steady and unreadable. she looked like someone about to drop a truth you didnβt want to hear.
βis it true?β mina asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. βare you really going out with lee heeseung?β
you opened your mouth, unsure what to sayβbecauseΒ wereΒ you? did being dragged through the school by your sleeve, having your lunch picked for you, and getting walked home under threats of βweβll do more than hold hands laterβ count as dating?
but before you could form anything close to a response, chaeyeon shifted her weight and said flatly, βiβll tell you one thing. there are aΒ lotΒ of rumors about him.β
mina nodded, eyes darting to your face, watching every flicker of emotion. βheβs kinda famous forβ¦ making girls cry. seriously. they say none of his relationships last longer than a month.β
your throat tightened. something cold settled in your stomach. βh-how do you know that?β you asked, your voice small and broken before you could stop it.
chaeyeon looked at you with a knowing gleam in her eye. βi was dating his friend, jungwon. they talk about that stuff. aΒ lot. heeseungβs cruel. he doesnβt even try to hide it.β she leaned in a little. βhe gets bored fast. he breaks them before they even realize it.β
you felt your fingers dig into the edge of your locker. the metal felt hot against your skin.
βhas he done anything weird to you?β mina asked carefully. βhas he tried toβ¦ i donβt knowβ¦ force you into anything?β
your heart skipped. your face flushed immediately, the heat rising from your neck to your ears. you didnβt even have time to form an answer before chaeyeonβs eyes narrowed and she tilted her head slightly.
βhe kissed you already, didnβt he?β
your silenceβyourΒ blushβwas all the answer they needed.
βknew it,β chaeyeon muttered, almost to herself. βheΒ alwaysΒ does that. fast. makes you feel like youβre special, like youβre the one thatβs different. heβs good at it.β
her words hit you like ice water poured over your head.
so he didnβt mean it?
was it just part of the pattern?
you felt something close to shame twisting inside your chest, guilt and anger and sadness all tangled together. your voice cracked when you tried to speak, but nothing came out. they didnβt wait for you to recover.
βjustβ¦ be careful,β mina said softly, looking at you with something between sympathy and pity. βseriously. donβt let him mess you up.β
they walked away, leaving you standing there, stunned, the echo of their footsteps disappearing into the hallway while their words echoed on a loop in your mind.
when she was a little girl, you'll never want to know... the places she liked, the thing she enjoyed, never ask the girl what she liked about her childhood, you'll never know... what she's trying to hide from you... π
π taglist: open! send an ask or reply with π§ to be added!
π navigation: #navigation | #press play to remember | #masterlist | #mark lee
π¨ color scheme: summertime nostalgia
#BEE9F9 β soft bubble blue π«§
#D7A6A1 β dusty rose β³
#F6C5CE β promise pink π
βsome summers come back. in songs, in smells, in dreams.β
thank you for pressing play... βΆοΈ
π final note: thank you so much for your support! you know how much i love markπ heβs been my top bias since 2017 lmaooβ°οΈ and i just love writing him in these soft, tooth-rotting fluff stories with theΒ childhood friends to loversΒ trope (my weakness fr). alsooo tell me what you think about the masterlist design?? lol iβm taking itΒ way too seriouslyπ i even made a full youtube playlist, a pinterest moodboard, and a color palette for it ππ«Άπ»
thank youΒ so muchΒ for all the love onΒ βlettre pour toiβΒ π and because of thatβ¦ iβll be postingΒ part two tomorrow! π«Άπ»π₯³
honestly, i was gonna leave it as a one-shot at first, but seeing how much support it got (?? i realized a lot of people wanted a continuationβ¦ and the truth isβ¦ iΒ didΒ have one in mind, but ended up cutting it LOL π
fun fact: this fic was actually inspired by a manga i read a longgg time ago (like back in 2017 maybe?) it had the same premise: a delinquent boy and a sweet girl who leaves a letter on his desk, i canβt remember the name since it was in japanese, but ifΒ anyoneΒ knows what iβm talking about pls drop it in the replies π«£
so yeah, the seriesΒ mightΒ end up having more than 3 parts π depending on how the story flows lol𫦠also i just finished my school year sooooo i have WAY more time to write now βοΈ
your fics are so good!!! my favs are dad!taehyun, demon king!jaemin, and popular!jaehyun. like omg the writing and characterization. the way your writing "voice" shifts to match the vibe of each fic. the smut is so good too! i'm obsessed with a well-written breeding kink π€
i couldn't help but imagine jaehyun and y/n to be that kind of high school sweetheart couple that go to college and are confident in their future together, graduate, immediately get married, and start their family young, and have multiple kids. the passionate smut, breeding kink, jaehyun's protective and possessive nature, y/n's detailed feelings of her crush just fits really well with that headcanon to me. they're just properly obsessed with e/o and dgaf what anyone is thinking. love that!!
daddy Jaehyun headcanons
notes: GIRL, IβπΒ iβm speechless β°οΈ i loved it sm, like actually obsessed, this made my entire day. i wentΒ full delulu modeimagining i was the mother of his kidsβ¦ like JAEHYUN PLEASE, TAKE MY WOMB ππΌ itβll forever hurt knowing iβm not, because iΒ knowΒ in my soul heβd be the best dad ever... so gentle, so hands-on, the type to make breakfast on sundays and fall asleep with a baby on his chest while you stand there watching him like π₯Ήπ and obviously heβd be the favorite parent because hello??Β heβs jaehyun. btw if youβre reading this, i hope you enjoy it as much as i painfully enjoyed writing this π« π
jaehyun and you were that couple in high school everyone lowkey rolled their eyes at because you were too in love⦠but deep down, everyone knew you were endgame.
you went to the same college, moved in together freshman year, and never looked back. your relationship only got stronger with time.
graduation night? you had slow, emotional sex and jaehyun literally asked you to marry him while you were still in his arms. no ring yet, no big speech. just raw emotion and certainty.
you got married right after college and immediately started trying for kids β not because of pressure, but because youΒ wantedΒ that life together.
five kids later and jaehyun is still completely obsessed with you. like, canβt-keep-his-hands-off-you level obsessed.
he has such a huge breeding kink itβs actually insane. anytime you evenΒ mentionΒ babies, he gets this look in his eyes and you know you're not walking the next day.
during all your pregnancies, jaehyunβs overprotective side gets even worse. heβs clingy, always rubbing your belly, always asking if you've eaten, if you're tired, if you're okay.
sex while you're pregnant? hisΒ favorite.Β he gets extra soft but also somehow even filthier, whispering shit like, βlook how full you are with my baby, fuck.β
you guys never grew out of that honeymoon phase β both of you still kiss like teenagers, still make out on the couch when the kids are asleep, still canβt keep your hands off each other.
jaehyun has this habit of pulling you into his lap when you're doing literally anything β feeding the baby, folding laundry, talking on the phone β just because he needs to touch you.
you still get butterflies around him, especially when he calls you βmy girlβ in that low voice he uses when heβs pissed or horny (or both).
both of you really dgaf what anyone thinks. kiss in public, post cheesy couple pics with captions like βstill canβt believe sheβs mine,β and basically live in your own little bubble.
the house is loud as hell, filled with kids running around, toys everywhere, half-finished meals β but also love. so much love.
sometimes jaehyun just stares at you from across the room while you're holding the baby, and youβll catch him and be like βwhat?β and heβll just shrug like βyouβre so fucking beautiful.β
you were obsessed with each other in high school, and somehow youβreΒ moreΒ obsessed now β married, messy, tired, horny, happy.
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lately i've gotten obsessed with the sims 4 again LMAOOOOπ i've been looking for trays and i found this jake one that looks SO much like him, omg itβs actually insane how similar it isπ donβt you think?? in my delulu era i also made myselfβ°οΈ (NOT the highlighter) so i could live out all my dreamsπ (aka being the mother of his kids)π€°
i know that beomgyu is a fully korean man but mentally to me heβs a san antonio emo mexican boy.
i constantly think about this image: mexican emo beomgyu fulfilling his civic duty by getting his ine... a responsible kingβ¦ we donβt deserve him πππ€£
ok no, but today i saw a tiktok saying that mexico has the best emos andβ¦ idk, but if it were 2008, iΒ knowΒ beomgyu wouldβve been an emo icon on metroflog/hi5. his pics would beΒ everywhereΒ on early internet. girls would call him their boyfriend (me) π€ and other people would totally use his photos for FAKE accountsπ€£ heβd be such a trendsetter, likeβ¦ unmatchedβ°οΈ and iΒ just knowΒ beomgyu wouldβve had an eyebrow piercingβ¦ or a lip ringβ¦π«¦ god, theΒ visual. OR MAYBE BEOMGYU WOULDβVE BEEN THE ONE TO ORGANIZE THE EMOS VS PUNKS FIGHT AT INSURGENTES π