Cave Johnson

[Greg's Note] The boss, gets a little hung up on his own intellect. Just- trust we've got a good team in accounts and another in marketing, we're doing just fine here.

Turns out Carolyn's voice carries at just the right frequency to be heard perfectly in a car. Don't ask me, the tech "bois" figured that one out and knew it'd be marketable. Don't worry all you headphone and earbud pedestrians, if you've got good enough equipment, you're laughing too.

On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel prize to give us, so, hang in there.

If it persists for a week, though, start worrying, and come see us, because, that's not supposed to happen.

I'll be honest, we're throwin' science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.

We've been shooting you with an invisible lazer that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it's working.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CxQnBV6OnPL/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==

Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.

Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that, too.