I'm not drunk enough for this

#Hermes: he’s dead Dionysus you don’t actually have to do this #Dionysus [polishing his giant wooden dildo]: I made a PROMISE (x)

This is the also the myth of the creation of the dildo. And in some versions of the myth, Prosymnus’ soul was so overjoyed, that he was transferred to Elysium. That’s right, Dionysus rode Prosymnus’ pseudo-dick so good that he was moved to the Blessed AfterlifeTM

dionysus: can’t believe prosymnus died before I could keep my promise to let him bone me the nymphs: you don’t have to, you know dionysus, oiling up the world’s first dildo: no I’m gonna

Prosymnus’ soul literally ascended

“Gotta make sure they are cherished”

Fish are WILDLY intelligent and many are so social that they naturally have social behaviors for interacting with other different species as a whole reef-wide community!! When it comes to interaction with humans, many fish can learn to recognize specific humans and increasingly seek attention such as scratches, rubs and simple play behaviors!

Oh my goodness

Reblogging for educational purposes, and not because I’m a sucker for facts like this-

I have never laughed so hard in my fucking life.

i cant breath

let me suck your titties for emotional support reasons

“Mixologist” shut the fuck up, say boozewizard like a fucking adult