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1. Force yourself into their circle. Say “Hi” or something whenever you see them again, talk to them whenever you get a chance, try to be in their vicinity as much as possible, talk to their friends, etc. But, be careful you’re not being a parasite, give them space, don’t cross their boundaries. Basically, make them know who you are, because if you don’t interact with them at all, you shouldn’t expect to become friends with them.
2. Don’t be overbearing. Take steps in what you talk about. Try not to overshare. Let them tell you about themselves, and ask them questions. Basically, a relationship takes two people, so don’t just talk about yourself.
3. Be nice and respectful. Give them compliments, be respectful when you disagree with them, make them feel appreciated, listen to them when they talk, try to remember the things they tell you about themselves, be empathetic when they have problems, take their recommendations, etc. Basically, don’t expect to someone to like you if you don’t act like someone they could like.
This is coming from someone who has struggled with making relationships & social skills since i was a kid. I now have many friends I love and can trust. I can’t promise this will work, but it helped me make friends, so maybe it could help someone else who is struggling with friendships.
some general social/hygiene tips if you need them bc i'm bored :p
source: have adhd, girlfriend autistic, go to an art school that leans heavily into the general tumblr demographic (ND, creative, generally well-meaning but awkward) so i’ve had A Lot Of Encounters
1. You probably don’t need to do a full shower everyday, but you need to wash your armpits, your butt, and your crotch EVERY SINGLE DAY. They will smell otherwise. "But I don’t stink!" maybe! But you can’t smell yourself with total accuracy.
If people avoid you or make a face when they talk to you there’s a good chance it’s because you have a smell or are otherwise ungroomed. This is not a moral failing! But it is fixable. Deodorant, cologne, and a wet wash cloth are your friends. If those are too much work, Lume wipes are also great short term.
2. You also need to brush your teeth everyday if you plan on opening your mouth in a public setting. Bad breath travels when you talk and it’s not good. There are disposable toothbrushes you can get online for five dollars, even just swishing with mouthwash (or even just with water!) and carrying gum helps if you don’t have the energy. Your breath is also affected by what you eat and drink. Coffee breath smells really bad. This is also a cause of people making a face when they talk to you.
3. If someone is sharing something difficult, do NOT immediately reply with a personal anecdote. While you might mean to be empathetic, this feels like you’re making it about yourself. Always begin with “I’m sorry, that sounds really hard” or some variant of it. Ask them a follow up question if they're comfortable, or offer help (if applicable). Let them know you understand and care before launching into a personal story or changing topics.
4. Reciprocate conversation! If someone asks how your day is, answer and then ask them back. “But won’t they just tell me if they have something they want to share?” No! I wouldn't! They're waiting for you to express interest. Nobody wants to share if it feels like you don’t care. Conversation is like a game of catch, not reciprocating is like refusing to throw the ball back because "If they wanted the ball they'd ask for it." You're playing catch! It's implicit!
Bonus Tip: Conversely, if you’re not close with someone, sharing lots of information about something you want to talk about but the other person doesn’t is a bad move. Try to take gaps in your rants and ask for their opinion, or just give an opening for them to reply. If they seem inattentive, and are responding with one word answers, they probably don’t want to talk right now.
Double Bonus Tip: If you’re in a close friendship or a romantic relationship, try to be the one that asks first sometimes. leaving it 100% to the other person also makes them feel like you don’t care.
5. Understand there are levels to a relationship. there are different degrees of closeness and intimacy between relationships, even of the same “type”. The classmate you make friendly conversation with is not the same kind of friend as your roommate, and neither are the same kind of friend as your childhood bestie. Some things that are okay when you are close to someone are social POISON if you aren’t. These include but aren’t exclusive to:
self deprecation (kills the vibe, emotionally draining)
niche references (unlikely to land)
banter/teasing (if you’re not close, ‘playful’ insults lose their ‘playful’)
6. Assume good intent. If you’re traumatized socially it’s easy to assume the worst, but most people are normal. Unless you are surrounded by cartoonishly evil people, most people don’t really think about you that much and the ones that do probably do so neutrally or positively. Act accordingly.
Bonus Tip: This includes constantly asking for reassurance and apologizing when you talk. Being friends with someone who’s constantly saying sorry for existing is extremely draining. Confidence is a socially attractive trait!
7. It’s okay to be low on energy and cancel plans, but you have to do so within reason or else most people probably won’t bother to invite you anymore. When you cancel plans:
Try not to do it too close to the actual event. unless it’s a sudden medical emergency or something, try to cancel as ahead of time as you can. do the same if you know or expect you’ll be late, let them know as soon as you know.
Don’t cancel all the time. Cancelling is fine, I’ve skipped on events just to lie in bed before. But sometimes even if you want to skip you need to just show up. General good rule is if you skipped/missed the last event or hang out, go to the next one.
If you’re cancelling, suggest another event soon after the one you’ll miss! it shows people you care, and want to hang out, but simply couldn’t this time around. For example, "I’m sorry i can’t make it to the movies tomorrow. let’s schedule to this other showing next week!"
For the love of god. Do not cancel plans with your friends for your romantic partner. Even just once is enough to make your friends side eye your partner, if it’s a repeated pattern they might start to hate both of you. Bring them to the function or leave them at home, but do not cancel. ESPECIALLY if you’ve been friends longer than you’ve been dating them.
8. Learn to recognize a bid for connection. If a person asks you to do something, or look at something, or go somewhere, they are asking for your attention first and foremost. when you deny the specific activity, you are denying the bid. This is why suggesting an alternative hang out when cancelling (see #7) is so vital.
9. Generally speaking, if you don’t know how to tell your closeness to a person, ask yourself:
How long have i known them?
How often do we talk directly?
What do we talk about?
Answering these three questions will help you out. If you’ve known them for a while (say, a month or more), you speak directly frequently (once a day or every other day), you talk about things like your emotions, your hobbies, your lives outside one another, you’re probably mutual friends with this person. if you only talk about the class, job, or hobby you share, this person is probably a conditional friend. if you talk mostly about your emotions and opinions, and you’ve known each other for years you’re probably close friends with this person!
There are many different types of friendships, and it’s important to have a general idea of where you stand with one another. things that are okay with close friends (random emotional check-ins, in depth discussions of trauma, playful banter and teasing) may be openly offensive to an accquaintance or a coworker.
If you read all that yap I hope it’s helpful in some way! Go forth and make friends.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Bruce comes back from the dead and wants to make things better. Bruce comes back from the dead and Tim was the one who brought him back, so it's obviously Tim who'll know best how to help him reconnect with everyone.
It's Tim who should give him advice on how to bond with Dick. Dick has always been his idol, after all. Tim would know best how to bring him back, and he does. He gives good advice and the two of them begin to get closer.
So Bruce asks about Jason, too. Asks about how to bring his son back into the fold and Tim wished for a brief and brutal moment that it weren't so obvious who the favorite was.
Tim told Bruce to give Jason his space, to loosen his rules, and make it clear that no matter what the Red Hood did, no matter what the Batman believed in, Jason was always welcome. Bruce would always want him.
It worked. Bruce wasn't surprised. Tim was a special sort of bitter.
Bruce asked again for Damian and Tim had to push down his anger. "That boy tried to kill me," Tim wanted to say. "I hate him and I want you to hate him too so that I can remember a time when we had something in common," Tim didn't say, but he got close.
He instead told Bruce how Damian liked art and animals and loved hearing stories of the wonders of Batman.
He told Bruce just how much Damian loved being Robin. Told Bruce to tell Damian what a good Robin he was.
God bless or maybe damn him, but he did and it worked and Tim wanted to start screaming and clawing at something because that would have never worked if Tim tried it and it wouldn't have stopped Damian from cutting his line--something Bruce did not and would never know about.
Bruce asked about Babs. How should he make sure she knew that she was a part of the family? That they loved her and not just for the work she did?
He asked about Steph. How should he make sure she knew that she was more important than his rules and that, if something else should go wrong, she didn't need to run away?
He asked about Duke. He never got the chance to get to know him before leaving--not as well as he wanted to, at least. How should he let him know that he was just as much a son as everyone else? That, whether or not his parents woke up, he'd always be welcome?
He asked about Cass. How should he show her that he loves her even though he has nothing to teach her? How can he convey how much he cares about her, his first daughter?
Bruce gets brought back from time and he makes things better. He brings his family back together by following Tim's advice.
And Tim?
Tim brings his dad back from the dead and Bruce changes, becomes a better father.
Bruce changes, but not everything can.
That, Tim thinks, is why Bruce never calls Tim his son.
I bet Tim and Jason fight over food all the time. arguments about where to eat on patrol or Jason telling him there was no fucking reason to be such a picky eater when some of them had to eat from the garage if they wanted dinner as a kid or the fact that Tim took the last of the bread sticks despite the fact that it was the only thing he'd eaten--he hadn't even touched the actual meal and Jason hasn't even gotten any bread sticks yet
but then I want them to hang out too. just spend time with each other. get close to each other the way siblings do and I want Jason to be in Tim's room when he sees a snack pile and takes a couple that look nice
and I want Tim to freak. he doesn't talk to Jason for a week. snaps at him on patrol. and the next time Jason's hanging out with Tim--a whole fucking month later, he notices the snacks aren't there anymore
he asks Tim about it and Tim says that he hid them and Jason makes fun of him in the moment--because seriously, all that for a couple bags of chips?--but he thinks back on it later and realizes that Tim is food and reacted defensively to someone taking it
but that doesn't make any sense because Tim grew up rich. he had all the money he could want to buy all the food he could need so why the hell did he have that big of a reaction?
I want Jason to start paying attention to Tim's eating habits. notice how little to boy ate and how long he spent starting at his food as if he was trying to convince himself to eat it. the way he always went back up to his room after dinner and, whenever Jason visited after, there were always a few more wrappers in the trash
I want Jason to notice all of this and think it's weird but not think too much of it until he's helping a kid on patrol. a kid who hoarded food. a kid who was starving but refused to eat a burger because of the texture, of all things. I want the kid's mother to find them and thank Jason before apologizing and saying that her son has something that makes it hard for him to eat
and I want that something to be ARFID
I want Jason to get home from patrol and look it up and, when he thinks about Tim, i want him to realize that the boy checks all the boxes
I want Jason to realize that the reason Tim hoards foods is because he needs safe food and he didn't always have those growing up
I want Jason to wonder how to bring it up to Tim. the way the boy acts, he knows his eating habits are weird, but doesn't seem to know what they are. I want Jason to try to explain to Tim that he has an ED and I want him to try not to freak out about someone in his family not being able to eat right
I want Jason to try and learn all of Tim's safe foods and make sure he always has something to eat. I want Jason to bully Tim for his height and then freeze upon realizing that it was probably a result of his malnourishment. I want to see these two with trauma around eating and I want them to eat well and go to bed with their bellies full
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
love avatar fics where the author picks and chooses what modern technology exists in the gaang's time and the excuse for why it exists is "sokka invented it"
titsay
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
