Catching Life

Make a list of all the emotions you want to feel at the end of 2025.

Now work backwards and write down all the tasks you need to do in order to feel that way.

Make a separate list of all the “gaps” - what do you currently not have in order to do those tasks to make you feel the way you want?

And lastly, write down how you can fill those gaps. Do you need a gym membership to become fit to feel good about your yourself? Do you need to learn how to cook better meals in order to feel healthy and energised? Do you need to start applying to jobs, in order to secure one, in order to feel financially safe? Do you need to buy an old school alarm clock that’s going to wake up your entire apartment building in order to wake up early? what do you need to DO?

also, make a list of all the things that worked out for you in 2024. Learn to celebrate and appreciate, even the smallest of wins.

For the next two months start the trial and error process of this program. Let’s say you decide that you want to work out 7 days a week in order to feel good about your body. Now halfway through November you realise that 7 days is probably too much, and 5 days would be better for your schedule. Or you decide to read 3 books a week, but realistically, maybe a chapter a day is better.

November and December are your trial months. By the time January starts, be ready with a program that is built for you, works for you, and can be completed by you.

Don’t forget about keeping a reward mechanism. If you complete your daily tasks for 1 month straight, buy that little purse you were eyeing, or take yourself to a spa. Reward yourself in ways you like so that :

a) you’re not in an endless cycle of never being satisfied

b) you don’t drop everything for a man or a friend who shows you the slightest bit of affection because you won’t show it to yourself

Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa

It was one of those shifts. One that dragged on and on and was mostly spent with the nurses huddled together at the station, giggling over something ridiculous a patient said.  It was low-key and low drama.  Perfect for seasoned nurses; a real bore for new ones.   Our manager, a gem of a lady, came through handing out shots of expresso to boost us.

We were all laughing and having fun when my charge nurse said quietly, “ Do you think we could move this group into bed 7?”  

I looked at her surprised.

“How come?” I questioned immediately.  Her response was equally quick.

“He was just made comfort measures, they are starting morphine … and he has no family here or that’s coming.”  

We all immediately stopped lounging and got up.  Our orientees dogging our steps, we filed into the room.  All 9 of us on the floor.  We took turns murmuring our hellos or simply squeezing his hand.  He peered at us and nodded.  He had been on our unit for a few weeks and we had all, at some point, encountered him.  He was simply adorable.  His wife had severe dementia and didn’t know him anymore.  His only son was estranged.  His neighbors had already said their goodbyes.  

One of the nurses who had him the most leaned over to him and said quietly in his ear.

“Your wife is ok.  She will be taken care of…” she paused and squeezed his hand, “You’re with friends now, ok?”  

He opened his eyes and looked around glassy eyed as his oxygen levels dropped.  9 figures in blue surrounded him.  He nodded briefly and closed his blue eyes.

“My friends.” He repeated to himself over and over.

Tears clouded every eye in the room and the ones closest laid a hand on him as we watched silently as the color drifted from his cheeks.

The new nurses looked around nervously as death came into the room.  The rest of us were stoic with shimmers of tears threatening to spill over as we watched the last bit of life drain from his face.

I stepped back and discreetly surveyed the room.  All eyes were either looking down or at him.  Bittersweet smiles on their faces as they knew he was at peace.  9 nurses, side by side, grieved for this man whose family was unable to do so.   It was in that moment that I could see how lost the hospital would be without nurses, how sterile and heartless it would become.   I stood with 9 of my coworkers who work short staffed constantly and nearly half have been hit or bitten since I have worked with them.  They are degraded, ignored and yelled at by patients, families and staff… and yet they are the most humane, sincere group I have ever known.

This patient died without family.

I need you to know these things.

This job is hard. It’s hard as a student, learning things most people will never understand. It’s hard as a brand new nurse; no patient or seasoned nurse truly has faith in you.

You want to learn. You want to know things. You want to get to the point in your job where you are comfortable in your skills, the patients trust you, and the doctors start to know your name and believe in your abilities.

It takes time. The first year of nursing will be the hardest year of your life and you will find yourself truly doubting your intelligence and intellect for the first time ever. You will make mistakes, second guess yourself, cry after work, cry during work, cry before work. You will triumph, and you will fail miserably.

But with literally every single moment of every single day, you will learn so much more than you’ve ever learned in your entire life combined. You will learn about human suffering, joy, love, sorrow, insanity, and pain. You will experience moments that will haunt you forever. Moments you will bury down deep inside because the people closest to you could never understand.

Student nurses, stay with it. You aren’t there yet. School is hard. It does get harder. But it also gets better.

I was a student. Nursing school was the hardest thing I had ever done up to that point. I will not downplay that. Ever. It is so hard.

But then I was a new nurse. And it was harder. I experienced things that will haunt me to the grave. I was bullied by patients, doctors, and nurses.

I’m still learning. I’m still a baby nurse. But I’ve got a bit of time and a little experience under my belt now. I’ve been a nurse in the burn ICU, a med-surg nurse, and now a bone marrow transplant/oncology nurse. I’ve dealt with nurse bullies, bully doctors, and abusive patients and families. I’ve seen all kinds of sickness, I’ve welcomed new life, and I’ve held countless hands as their pulses faded away.

I’m here to tell you, student nurses, new nurses, that this job is hard. It is cruel and unforgiving at times.

But it is so worth it. It may get harder, but it will get easier as time goes on. The bonds you form with patients, doctors, and fellow nurses will bring you through it.

You knew it would be difficult when you chose such a selfless profession. This job takes heart. It takes a special kind of person that was meant to heal this harsh world.

Stay with it. It gets so much better. It is rewarding. We are here and we want you to succeed. Forget the nurse bullies, forget the bad. You are a guardian angel and you chose this noble path.