Hi I love your blog. Any advice on how to get out of and heal from a codependent relationship? Iâve listened to podcasts and YouTubeâs but I still canât let go. Feeling stuck.
Itâs great that youâre collecting information to understand how to deal with the issue you have on hand. However, if youâre not going to actively put in the work whilst collecting said information, itâs all pointless.
Codependency in relationships can form because of being overly attached, tending to put the partnerâs needs above your own, lack of self worth, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, wanting to âfixâ the other person, trauma, lack of healthy boundaries, etc.
So firstly, you need to make some ground rules for yourself. Rules such as: not going back to the ex; not answering their calls or messages; deleting pictures and videos; cleaning up your space and removing whatever was theirs - you need to cleanse your physical, mental and emotional spaces.
Then try to figure out in what areas of life you were codependent in, and try to become more independent in those. Some of the ways to overcome this can be building your self esteem, setting healthy boundaries, gaining confidence, working on creating a better version of yourself.
perhaps you were more codependent on certain areas of life - such as socialising - than others. Work on those areas that youâre terrified to deal with without your partner.
activities can include making new friends, trying new hobbies, learning new skills such as cooking, deepening existing relationships, meditation, journaling, gratitude journals, etc.
you donât want to just socialise in order to block your feelings out. You want to be able to feel what you feel and process those emotions - and at the same time, start working on a new chapter. I would highly recommend you abstain from drugs, alcohol, one night stands altogether, no matter how painful.
Processing emotions can take a long time, and thatâs absolutely fine. Youâre not going to be âhealedâ overnight. However, consistent effort matters most here. You really need to try and put in the effort into your new chapter.