Stressed, Blessed, & Definitely A Mess

I’ve lost 110lbs and I’m back to my weight I was when we got married and I feel great. That’s been such a blessing to no longer carry all the physical weight any more. It was killing my joints.

Work is just…a drama filled dumpster with minimal change for the foreseeable future. I guess that is any nursing unit though. I’m considering a complete career change and leaving healthcare and doing corporate work instead. I’m so tired.

I found a new psychiatrist and they’re trying so hard to get my meds right. I feel SO much better than I used to, but they still aren’t where they need to be. I feel unfixable sometimes.

Also, he is finally fully potty trained and I am SO pumped and excited to be out of our diaper era.

Finally, I’ve officially lost 70lbs! I am not quite at my goal weight but I am SO happy to hit this milestone.

First I tested positive for the flu. Then my oldest tested positive for Covid (thankfully though no fever and only a mild cough). Now my youngest tested positive for flu. It’s hitting him SO much harder than me (my fever was 102 for a few hours then broke, his has been 101-103 since last night even with alternating Tylenol and Motrin).

I had a hysterectomy scheduled this week and it got cancelled last minute and now I have to wait until next year when my fmla kicks in (I’m going from per diem to full time in another week) and I could honestly just cry I’m so upset about it

I’m starting weight loss injections this week because I literally cannot lose the weight. I’ve upped my exercise and cut calories and upped my protein and I’m literally stuck. I have about 60lbs to lose at least. I’m scared but hopeful.

I am so homesick it isn’t even funny. I miss the south. I miss everything about it. City living isn’t for me. The desert isn’t for me. I’m hoping and praying that eventually M will agree to move back to the southeast

I open the curtain and just saw my poor sweet girls face COVERED in blood. Apparently the kids were playing on the nuggets and she flipped off and hit her face on our cabinets/shelves in the playroom.

She had two huge gashes in her face - one on her forehead and the other across her eyebrow. She also had a bloody nose and lip. We scrambled to get dressed and took off to the ER.

They thankfully took us right back because we were both covered in blood and crying and they ended up sedating her with ketamine and she needed 17 stitches. She’s the toughest little girl I know but gosh I was just so heartbroken. I tried to keep it together but I kept breaking down and crying, especially watching her drift off into the sedation.

After we left M got her a smoothie and went and laid in bed with her until she fell asleep. He stayed strong for us, but I know he was a nervous wreck and so upset.

I obviously called and and was told that since it was a late call plus a high call off day I’m essentially getting 4 points instead of 1 (and we’re only allowed like 7 or 8 for the whole year). I sent my director pictures to show I wasn’t just making it up, but I’m probably getting written up for this at the very least. It’s crazy to me how as a nurse they make it so hard when we have to take care of our own families and emergencies 😔

Things that have brought me joy today: the $5 milk frother I accidentally bought and now makes me feel like I know how to make fancy coffee 😂

Today I had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish, but today all I really succeeded in doing was moving things around in the pantry and unwinding with my kiddos.

Taking a 5 minute break from cleaning while the little two are on a walk with grandma. We’ve been in the new house for a month now and I am still not done unpacking.

To say it’s been overwhelming is an understatement. There is so much to go through and so much stuff damaged, not to mention we no longer have a basement for storage so I’ve been tossing a ton of things.

I love this house though. The colors, the floor plan, everything. I’m trying hard to get rid of things and take a more minimalist approach this time around.

I’ve found a lot of peace in organizing and cleaning. It’s just been hard with a crazy schedule at work. Night shift is a lot harder now than before when we had daycare and it’s been hard to find a balance between everything.