i am the monster you created

one time i went to a cafe and i was wearing a green shirt and brown trousers and the barista looked at me and said awww i love your outfit its giving......... [long pause] tree ^_^

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and is “party rock” in the house with us tonight? 

"are you picking up what I'm putting down" brother I am hefting that shit above my head with gusto

"if you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't" no but like. i really didn't. i have never in my life seen someone shoplifting because i'm not watching anyone else in the grocery store..? how are y'all noticing things like that. my only goals are enter the store, survive, exit the store