光大 (Kody)

In 1869, the journalist Karl-Maria Kertbeny coined the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual", giving them pretty much the meaning we all know today. But few people know he also included the category "monosexual", meaning someone who doesn't want to have sex with people of either gender, only masturbation.

The sexologist Magnus Hirschfield is another figure that always comes up in the history of early LGBTQ rights advocacy. He, too, wrote about people who don't feel sexual attraction (he used the term "sexual anaesthesia") in a pamphlet in 1872.

Same with Emma Throsse, the first known woman to write scientifically about lesbianism. She's most known for her 1895 publication defending the rights of homosexual people and in particular for her writings about lesbians, but she also wrote about "asensuals". Not only that, but she goes on to mention that "the author confesses to this category", meaning that she is asensual herself. (But even now, when looking for her Wikipedia page, it only mentions that she wrote about homosexuality).

In 1897, the sexologist Christiane Leidinger made the first modern definition of "asexuality".

In 1907, the activist Carl Schlegel published a document demanding "the same laws for all intermediate parts of sexual life: homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, be legal now as they are for heterosexuals".

When the biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey (known as "the father of the sexual revolution") made the Kinsey scale to describe people's position in the Homosexual-Heterosexual scale (with various degrees of bisexuality), he also had to create the "Category X" for people who did not have any response that could be described as sexual attraction, because his experiments with both men and women were finding people who only fit this Category X.

if your ostomy bags, incontinence supplies, and sanitary wipes are single-use,

if your joint replacement, bone plate, pins & screws, or spinal hardware is cobalt & chrome,

if your meds come in a plastic container you can’t recycle or reuse for sterility,

you are still innocent. you didn’t choose this particular life. we all must do what we can to survive and that includes using technology and consuming resources. it is only human and we all do it.

Don’t reuse the syringe. Don’t use cloths over alcohol swabs. Choose the battery powered device over the rechargeable if it means you can carry spares. Don’t use the reusable container if you can’t get it open. Don’t choose the reusable option if you can’t keep it clean. Don’t overfill the sharps container. Don’t improvise the tourniquet. Don’t eat the expired food if you can’t afford to be sick. Don’t choose the sustainable option if it doesn’t meet your needs.

Fed is best!!!

If eating the pre-packaged food means you might have energy for other things you want to do later then do that!

If you have to take a frozen dinner to work for your lunch because you can't stand leftover food and so meal prepping doesn't work for you, then take the frozen dinner that you know you will actually eat.

Don't feel bad for eating the same thing multiple times in a row, if that's all you can eat then that's what you should eat!

I finished this brushbuddy art doll earlier this week and he is very cute. It's got a wire armature inside and is fully posable, including the leather fingers and toes. (There are also magnets in the feet to potentially stick it to things later.)

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

I used to drown myself whenever I was near a swimming pool because I'd walk in without any floatation device or ability to swim, because I didn't understand that it was dangerous. I wasn't allowed anywhere near a pool unless one or both of my parents were nearby and in swimwear so they could jump in after me if I did that. It's possible your child will properly process the danger in his actions someday, even if it takes a while. And if he doesn't, there are other rules you can set that will make it easier for him to keep himself out of trouble.

"No, but-- he also won't speak to me if too much has happened during the day, we can't do as much as other people can or he shuts down!"

I used to go both non-verbal and have sobbing meltdowns nearly every time I had to practice the piano (which was daily for a while, and soon slowed to a stop because of the meltdowns) because the prospect of making a mistake was So Unacceptable to me in my mind that every time it (inevitably) happened it felt like the world was ending. Selective mutism in autistic people is strongly linked to sensory and emotional overwhelm. Additionally, there are autistic adults who grew up completely non-verbal and ended up having extremely fulfilling lives and successful careers. So, I don't think it's the worst thing ever that your child needs more downtime to avoid these shutdowns. Maybe you should pay closer attention to what exactly sets these feelings off in him and accommodate him without resentment or judgement.

"You don't get it. He's REALLY autistic - he can't even read without significant help!!"

My monotropism is so severe that it takes me a substantial amount of time to read things because my focus pinpoints words and letters completely out of order. I straight-up used to think I was dyslexic. I kept reading because I enjoyed the act of reading, even though it took me much longer than my peers to get through a book. Maybe that shouldn't be something you shame or pity your child over, and it's possible that if you get books that pertain to his interests that he might be willing to work on getting through the book properly - again, even if it may take him a longer time.

"But he doesn't even enjoy holidays! Every kid is SUPPOSED to enjoy holidays!!"

When I was a kid I'd have crushing existential meltdowns every birthday (and the days leading up to my birthday) because the moment I learned that old age leads to death, every birthday became a marker that I was getting older and was coming closer to death. My parents did their best to distract me from this by creating happy moments that directly related to my interests and were conscious of my social and physical energy levels. Maybe figure out WHAT it is about these holidays and celebrations that upsets your child, and work to not involve those things in the celebration, and/or work on distracting your child from negative thought cycles that are related to these holidays in a way that is accommodating for him.

"His stims are actually harmful, though!!"

I don't have good hearing anymore because I used to stim by playing music on my headphones so loudly I could feel the vibration in my skull. Unfortunately, harmful stims are real, but it's your job as a parent to not REPRESS, but instead REPLACE these actions with a suitable alternative that will satisfy the need without causing the harm. It is necessary to empathize and work on understanding your child in order to achieve this.

"Stop it. Shut up. My child is nothing like you and will never be like you. He's ACTUALLY autistic. He has PROFOUND autism. He isn't like you."

Just hand out ribbons that say “don’t do drugs” that’ll fix it.

Wanna stop gun crime?

Just say if you don’t stop we’ll get you. That’ll fix it.

Wanna help people without a shelter to sleep in?

Tell them to get a job. That’ll fix it.

Wanna prevent the spread of STIs?

I've been almost run over several times by drivers I could make eye contact with at crosswalks. I've been openly scolded for not moving my grocery cart fast enough when the person scolding me was blocking my way to my cart. I've had people ram their grocery carts into mine because I couldn't stop fast enough and they didn't "realize" I was there.

None of this happens when I can walk.

"It's not their fault" FAQ under the cut

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond.