Sir this could might pe a problem!

do you know anybody into raceplay?

when I was a preteen on tumblr in the early 2010s, long before the fated pornography ban*, it was common for kids my age and older to have their own NSFW blogs. gifs and full videos of pornography, primarily posted to the site by adults, were much easier to find and interact with back then. I knew multiple teenagers who posted "risqué" or even nude pictures of themselves, shared them with their peers, and were encouraged to send them to adults in their - our - circles. DDLG was a common interest for teen girls back then, many of whom I knew had no experience with sex at all. BDSM and adjacent kinks were very common.

according to google trends, the use of the term kinkshaming peaked around 2014. that's prime liberal feminism era. the blue-haired SJW is an oft-cited bogeyman, atheist and "rational" youtube is yet to implode, "just do what you want" feminism is at its height, and "fuck the patriarchy" is the phrase du jour. kinkshaming discussion took many forms: people can't help their kinks, so they shouldn't be shamed for them; as long as it's between consenting adults, what happens doesn't matter, so you shouldn't criticise it; kink is actually much safer than regular vanilla sex, there are systems to make sure everything is okay and people are just scared of what they don't understand. this type of thing was discussed ad infinitum on this very website (post from 2013! blow the dust off!)

even with all that discussion of no kinkshaming, you never really saw mainstream acceptance of raceplay.

no posts going "you shouldn't shame people for this" for raceplay, no "they might be working through something" for raceplay, no "live and let live" for raceplay. not even an Oh Joy Sex Toy special on raceplay (though they do have a cuck comic that has garnered a lot of criticism for its complete refusal to engage with the racist aspects of a lot of cuckold fetish material beyond the lie of "well SOME people are racist BUT." interesting!). no defense of it that made its way to even the barest of mainstream tumblr thought. and you still don't see it. back then, when you saw someone openly into it, it was something worth reporting and ostracising. because it was racist. sexual interest or not, nobody was willing to make excuses for racism, a "follows you forever, wipe your digital footprint" worthy crime for normal people.

take this snippet from the above-linked post:

I want you to read the above and then imagine someone having this reaction to being told that talking about their "bleached" ((usually) black woman being dominated by a white man) or "blacked" ((usually) white woman being dominated by a black man) fetish is racist. "I'm already ashamed for my racism fetish. Asking me if I support racism for my racist fetish is not cool. I'm not hurting anyone by being racist because the racism is something I'm using for sexual gratification. It says nothing about me. Accusing me of being racist for being sexually interested in racism is terrible."

if you can recognise this scenario as being ridiculous and a poor defense against behaving in a discriminatory way for the purposes of jerking off, you should be able to apply this to any other fetish rooted in discriminatory or abusive behaviour. ask yourself why raceplay is unacceptable but a fetish for grooming children is; why "your fetish for racism is disgusting as a victim of racism" seems to hold more weight, more gravity, than "your fetish for incest is disgusting as a victim of incest"; why calling things like sissy and feminisation fetishes misogynistic is seen as prudish, but shoving your feminisation fetish into a fundraiser for people in threat of genocide is normal behaviour and not cartoonish levels of racism; why BDSM is heralded as being even more safe than "vanilla" sex but women keep being murdered by practitioners (and if you try to "no true scotsman" this, I will tell you to die). violent, life-risking acts like strangulation are so normalised that male children are asking for advice on how to do it "safely" and yet "maybe you shouldn't be doing that" becomes kinkshaming because orgasm > being alive.

an inability to take one's hand out of one's pants to consider the appropriateness of one's sexual behaviour inevitably leads to the sort of brain rot that makes these people believe their fetish is appropriate for all contexts, suitable for visibility by all. it is why people like isupportforcefem must insist that those opposed to, say, attaching a poll for your misogynistic fetish to a fundraiser for Palestinians at risk at death are simply sex-negative TERFs or transmisogynistic "TMEs" and not normal people thinking that it's insanely racist and disrespectful.

this is why accusations of kinkshaming have no weight to any serious person. kink and sexual interest do not make something immune to criticism. sexual gratification being derived from something does not make that thing holy and untouchable. an accusation of kinkshaming as an attempt to shut down criticism is an attempt to fling a tomato at the wall and then dash away hoping your counterpart is distracted. it's a last-ditch, means-nothing attempt. your kink is not an axis of oppression. people can and will, rightfully, discuss and criticise what you openly talk about, kink and fetish included.

I've been thinking about this with the most recent wave of people with rapist/misogynistic/incestuous/pedophilic fetishes being banned after being reported for openly sharing their enthusiasm for their rapist/misogynistic/incestuous/pedophilic fetishes and claiming that anything from disliking them to getting them banned from social media platforms is a form of discrimination.

attempts to frame these kinks/fetishes as harmless, completely divorced from any context, or even as simply part of one's identity that others must accept make no logical sense in reality. I don't know where the idea of kink as innate and immutable, and its subsequent interpretation as immune from criticism as a result of those characteristics, came from, as it's certainly not rooted in any real ideas. maybe I need to read more sexologists and see what bullshit they were coming up with that led to one of the dumbest interpretations of modern sexuality, and especially to see why 2010s liberal feminists ate it the fuck up.

the oft-repeated line of fiction not affecting reality fails to capture how fiction is influenced by reality: how one's creative output is influenced by one's beliefs, and how we can see a reflection of ourselves in everything we create. if you believe, sincerely, that fiction does not affect reality, you must also be capable of recognising what parts of reality one can find in fiction, and you should not be afraid to investigate what that says about yourself and others.

NOTE: nowhere in this post has OP said that

fiction = reality

posting = doing

thought crime** is real

tl;dr

*fun fact - contrary to popular "waaah payment processor prudes" belief, pornography was blanket banned on this website because Tumblr had a pervasive CSEM problem, including the mass grooming of children on their platform and adults encouraging those children to post material to the platform. their moderation of CSEM was so poor that Apple took the app off the app store.

This tumblr sexyman is your son!