[Long post]
Being trans is so cool and fun and rewarding and I wouldn’t live my life any other way. There’s something inherently beautiful about crafting your own identity; about rejecting societal norms and prejudices and blazing your own path forward through this fucked up world we live in. I was raised religious; my dad is a pastor. I was always told that God makes no mistakes and that I should be content with the way I was created. But if there is a God, I like to think that they gave us free will for a reason - so that we as humans can share in the act of creation.
I’ve known I was a girl as long as I can remember. Up until a few years ago, I was too terrified to tell anyone. I’m so glad that I did. It was never a decision about whether or not I was a girl. It was a decision I made to accept what I knew about myself and begin to participate in the divine act of creation.
I’m happier now than I have ever been in my life. It’s not easy being trans, especially in the current social and political climate. Trans people are constantly being demonized, stigmatized, and bullied by so many in positions of authority. Every day the news shows a new story about how trans women are either biologically advantaged or confused men; or how the worst thing an AFAB person can do is cut off their boobs and “pretend “ to be a man. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel targeted or threatened; either by awful people on the internet, by people’s nasty looks at me just for existing around them, or from the government trying to make me illegal. That being said, it’s still infinitely better to endure all of that than to try and live as a man.
Being trans is awesome. Every morning I wake up and I feel lucky that I get to live this life. If I could go back and tell five-year-old me anything, I’d tell that frightened little girl that life does get better. That it’s okay to be scared, but it’s better to speak out and make her voice heard. That trying on Mom’s high heels and makeup in the bathroom with the door locked wasn’t a thing that most boys did. That, yes, being a girl is actually an option. It would have saved me so much trouble later on.
Being trans saved my life. It has saved many other lives throughout the span of history and it will continue to do so for as long as we as humans exist. To any trans people reading this: You are beautiful. You are validated. Your existence is not a burden on anyone who truly matters. Your story is not over. It is of the utmost importance that we do not lose hope in the face of prejudice and malice; instead, we must all support each other through times like these.
The poet Andrea Gibson once said, “I suppose I love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” My hope for anyone who sees this post is that you will love your own life; and that you also will not be afraid, like I once was, to clench your fist in spite of the world. Exist unapologetically. Spread love. Everything will get better, I promise you. You are not alone in this.
