fulfilling the breeding quota

researchers standing between my propped-up legs with a sole objective - to assess my viability for an experiment they're planning to run in upcoming days - mid-cycle, not on any form of birth control, orgasm length of 30 seconds minimum, around a minute ideal for the "process" - whatever that may entail - to work

with a snap of latex and a pop of a lubricant bottle cap, an ultrasound probe is pushed deep inside me with no warning, pressed firmly against my cervix

my half-pained half-pleasured whimper is ignored for the sake of obtaining data, as the researchers watch the screen and nod in agreement - fertile window, confirmed

the researcher operating the ultrasound flips a switch on the board and it's like a jolt of electricity runs through my entire body - the ECG monitor is beeping frantically as the rod inside me starts to vibrate directly against my uterus

my heart is about to jump out of my chest when the probe is slowly pulled back and then pushed back in, the angle adjusted ever so sligtly so the vibrating handle rubs against my clit on its way back

all researchers' eyes are fixed on the ultrasound screen, watching my inner walls pulsate with every slow thrust of the probe delivered with clinical precision

I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:

Books I personally recommend:

- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.

- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”

- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.

- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.

- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.

- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.

Books I can kind of recommend:

- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”

- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.

- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.

That being said, the orgasms I have with it are slightly unsatisfying. The feeling just before/just as I orgasm is very intense (in a way that makes my legs tremble uncontrollably), but the rest of the orgasm isn't as deep and full-body.

I do ultimately prefer the orgasms with my bullet vibrator (a wevibe tango x). While the orgasm isn't immediately as powerful, it is DEEP, very satisfying, very full-body, and lasts for longer. Its the type of orgasm where I feel my clit and insides throbbing heavily for a good 30-60 seconds after the orgasm first hits.