off kilter @carneliancorruption - Tumblr Blog

my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags

the narrative tension in this picture is outrageous

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norsesuggestions

when your cream won’t turn into butter, despite your best churning efforts

you begin to accuse different people in your community of lacking honor. people with low honor is, as we all know, the major cause of cream refusing to turn into butter

norsesuggestions

It’s happened again 😤

who is it that lacks honor in this longhouse?!?!?

thoodleoo

there is no i in team but there are multiple i’s in “attaining the consulship”

thoodleoo

there is no i in team but there are multiple i’s in “attaining the consulship”

catilinasuggestions

got denounced in front of the senate at claire’s

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officialunitedstates

sail boats are the easiest thing to steal ever because they don’t have a key because there is no engine. all you need is a sound knowledge of the wind and a yearning to conquer the seas

flagellant

step 1: be a mortal

step 2: hear the voices of the divine

step 3: ???

step four: prophet

dawn-delocksley

Made some memes to appease my Classics 40 TA

locate-lucky-luciano

I spent so long on this y'all…

unknownmorsel

FUCK YOU OP

kelp-kelp

Here’s a link showing where that shit’s hiding

#yeah hi i want to Die #if i wasnt already in danger of being blocked for old memês #recieved more angst than a hot topic on the end date of mcr

hungwy

gonna get buff n pick ppl up

takaska

You gonna do the good ghibli hugs where you pick up the other person?

hungwy

nah just gonna toss em as far as i can

#me as i research safe muscle building tactics in order to prepare to be able to lift every one of my friends up with strong arms

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dankmemeuniversity

inkskinned

i’ve been obsessed, lately, with the way we say things. how sometimes you hear the great northeast in the clip of my “course” and the back-of-the-mouth “roof.” about how i find out little bits about where you grew up just from the way you slide through “news.”

our bodies splayed on the floor of my room. i open the book i’m writing about you and say how do you say this and i point to hedonist.

you say head-on-ist.

i say it’s heed-on-ist.

you say you heathen and i’m struck by the smile on you.

i scoop up water in my palms and watch it run out. is it in-sure-unce or in-sure-ance.

in-sure-ance. your hair is catching the sun. i watch your mouth move around the syllables like syrup.

we’re outside and i point up. is that a firefly or a lightning bug?

you look over to me. whatever it is, i’m in love.

and whatever it is, i’m in love.

#i like these words in that order

floccinaucinihilipilificationa

melonmemes

arrghigiveup

nourelein

classically trained but we’ll still fuck ya up

jamaicanamazon

Ayyyyyyyeeee

#amazing #dance

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hey @ people who have warm feet, how do you live like this?? I can feel the grain of the floorboards on my skin the whole airspace around my foot probably could detect minute shiftings in earth’s crust at any given moment how can you focus

#I was given SOCKS #Lots of warm socks #my mom made me wear them #I've recovered feeling in every toe and it's bewildering.#twelve plus hours of rotating fuzzy socks

mapsontheweb

Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map.

pyrrhiccomedy

No but take the time to actually read it because I lost like 15 minutes.

dare-to-dm

I have a friend who is really good at this type of thing. He once found an old globe at a garage sale and he was able to pin the date of it’s making down to like a 6 month window, because it only would’ve been correct during a specific point in WWII.

I was mad impressed, because I have no mind for geography. I can barely remember my own state’s capitol.