Can't get back the days gone by

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

i dont care if Monday's lit. Tuesday Wednesday touch my clit. Thursday i don't give a shit. it's Friday I'm in love

normal guy playing wordle: "i really recommend ATONE and GUILT" for starting words

what did you call it? bust a nut squash? what the fuck is wrong with you man, what is fucking *shoves you* what the fuck is wrong with you? *i have you by the collar and you finally repeat what you said which was "butternut squash"* oh my god. Dude im so sorry. eyes welling with tears im so sorry man im so sorry

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?

AITA if i've been dead for a while but haven't told my best friend yet because he doesn't seem to have realized i'm a ghost and if he does i'm worried that he'll finally be able to accept it and let me go and i can't bear the thought of losing him?

AITA for killing that guy

Gonna start leaving unsolicited comments about how I actually DONT shave my bush for sensory purposes

What matters in life is tagging posts as your ocs