i'm so tired

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

we jest and talk shit but animal crossing was so real for making most of the villagers a little ugly. Could not happen today

admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now

"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?

Guy who coinflips every morning to see if he should kill himself and inexplicably has gotten “live” each time

Intense birdwatcher: there's been a murder 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🔭😀

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?

New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.