Things to do this coming Valentineās day that arenāt crying because youāre going to die alone:
Give yourself a valentine gift (that will be better than anything anyone else can give you).
Send your mutals some anonymous love.
Eat a really big heart shaped cake or alternately a really big box of chocolates. And remember youāre single so you donāt have to share them with anyone.
Mail anonymous valentineās cards to people who you know are in a relationship and laugh as the chaos unfolds.
Read some valentineās themed fanficton of your OTP and instead of crying about your loneliness remember no one will ever love anyone else as much as your OTP loves one another, so you dodged a bullet by being single.
Sit on your roof (if you can) and maniacally laugh or violently screech for as long as your lungs allow. Trust me you are messing up someoneās valentineās sex.
Go outside or annoy your family by sniffing the air obnoxiously and saying ācan you smell the loveā, ācan you smell the passionā āDoesnāt it smell GOODā.
Look into the void, itās lonelier than you will ever be. Whisper secret messages into the void, āI never returned that money I borrowedā, āClare is sleeping with the Bakerā. The void loves hearing your secret messages.
Make some gingerbread people in the shapes of people in your life and bite their arms and legs off slowly because gingerbread people deserve to suffer.
Remind everyone repeatedly that St Valentine was actually the patron saint of epilepsy and was stoned to death. Remind them again to show how clever you are. Remind them once more just for good measure.
