A blog of no consequence

Blanc

The one who swears they have a plan

The one who goes along with worrying enthusiasm

The one who's straight up not having a good time

The one who's here to do their fucking job

The one who actually knows what's going on

Me in April: Hey, my ear has been hurting for over a week. Can we do something about that?

Dr: It’s probably an ear infection. Use these drops for 2 weeks.

Me, two weeks later: Hey my ear is still hurting.

Dr.: Hmm. Try this nose spray and a decongestant for a few weeks, maybe it’s referred pain.

Me, 3 weeks later: Hey my ear is hurting even worse, now.

Dr.: I’ll refer you to an ENT

It is now June.

ENT office: sorry, we don’t have appointments available until September

Me:

It is now September

I get this email about my upcoming appointment:

So on top of the appointment fee, they’re going to charge me an estimated $1,700 “facilities fee” for the pleasure of waiting months for a single initial diagnostic appointment. Fab.

Me: hey this is completely prohibitive and also would have been nice to know before I waited three months in pain for this appointment.

ENT Office: we can make you an appointment at another location that doesn’t have a facilities fee. First opening is January 2026.

Me: …okay. Let’s do that. Also, can you confirm that there won’t be a “facilities fee” in writing for me?

ENT office: Sure thing. We’ll send it later this week.

Guess what I just got. Just guess. Same fucking fee notification for this location. Called back again. No other locations available. So after 5 months of worsening pain and repetitive hours of navigating the quagmire of Healthcare automated phone systems, I am now back to square one. My doctor is advising I try to work through my insurance to find a provider that doesn’t have a facilities fee and THEN they’ll write me a referral for that doctor. Because that should absolutely be my responsibility. Jesus Christ.

Hopefully it isn’t anything serious because if this pain is a tumor it’ll probably kill me before I get seen by a specialist.

Pierogi the corgi did not let a little thing like being stuck in a cage when unsupervised stop him from being with his large girlfriend, Clementine, and having nine large mutant corgis together.

I was planning to tell you about Nutly today because he's a squirrel, and when I think of fall (which it's not technically yet, but is coming up fast) I think of squirrels gathering nuts. And then I found out that today is National Teddy Bear Day! So, first, Happy National Teddy Bear Day from me and my teddy bear to you and all of yours (and all the other stuffies too!).

Ok, now on to the preplanned fall story of Nutly, who belongs to one of you kind people... and arrived at the hospital with her own teddy bear!. :-)

Nutly's person wrote back in April. Here is a partial excerpt of her first email, titled "Just putting out feelers".

"..since I'm not sure if I'm ready to do this just yet, or when I will be.

Nutly is a 9" stuffed squirrel who I've had since 1997 and may very well be my soul living outside of my body. Unfortunately, I have loved her to the point where I wanted to ask about your services so I can continue to sleep with her every night without worrying about her long-term prospects. Her neck is really thin and she has had a hair scrunchie around it, like some sort of Elizabethan ruff, to make sure it stays straight and stable. Luckily no flopping yet. The scarf was a jaunty later addition that constantly needs retying (we joke that she likes to remove it for attention). 

Plus she badly needs cleaning. Sadly my mom put her through the washing machine a few times when I was younger, but I said 'nope never again' and the upshot is she hasn't been bathed in over 20 years at this point. You could be forgiven for not realizing her muzzle used to be white. I tried to gently remove some of the dark stuff around her muzzle seams, and the fur underneath was yellowed, so I stopped.

I also genuinely don't know what to do about her nose. It used to be pleather. I think it's now mostly superglue.

I'm sure you hear this from everyone who writes you, but I'm getting really emotional even thinking about sending her away. I genuinely don't think I'm ready right now. But I thought talking to you, and coming up with a plan, might help me become ready.

And here are some of Nutly's diagnosis photos, along with a younger similar squirrel for comparison:

So, you can see Nutly was pretty worn in some areas, and had some nose issues, and wanted a spa. It took a bit, but we (Nutly, her person, and I) eventually scheduled her for a summer appointment, and agreed we'd take her treatment step by step. The first step would be a spa and lining. All of her original stuffing would be saved outside of her repaired body, and returned to her person for sentimental purposes. She was quite cozy when she arrived at the hospital (with her own teddy bear!):

Here she is in her bubble bath:

and here's her heart being made and installed with a bit of her original stuffing once she was lined:

Next was redoing her nose and her first chubbiness check:

Here is her buddy, checking up on her progress from home:

And here's her chubbiness adjusted:

With that approved, her person decided it would be ok to go ahead with transplants for bald spots. She selected a furry fleece, and here's Nutly after that treatment:

At this point her person wrote: She looks beautiful. I'm so happy. I wish I could reach out and give her a huge hug.

You'll note her tail was still bald. That would require a much longer ply fur. Here she is, all better!

I like the top down photo because you can really see how fluffy her tail is! Note her white area didn't get any treatment other than the spa, because the balding wasn't structural and we didn't want to change her expression. Her person wrote: SHE IS PERFECT and yes, I absolutely approve! I wasn't expecting this so soon and I'm delighted.

Nutly flew home and in addition to a very nice note from her person, Nutly sent this note:

Hi Dr. Beth! I had a really fun time at the hospital. You took such good care of me and it made me feel special. I also feel really fat, like I gathered just enough nuts for winter. Plus my tail is super fluffy and I forgot what that was like. I'm back home and ready to climb on stuff again and sit on the bed with Bailey watching birds on the telephone wire outside the window and dreaming about climbing trees. T cried a little when she held me. I don't know if she wanted me to say that… but it's too late! I love her so much and I'm full of glee and happiness and joy now that I'm home. Say hi to all the other animals for me! Bye!

And here's Nutly at home with her friend Bailey Bunny (who has an appointment to come to the hospital shortly for a spa. :-)