I don't know why I'm still here

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

trying to explain to people that the cursed amulet and i have genuinely bonded. we are PALS now. "the fact you don't want to take it off is proof it's controlling you" i want to keep wearing it bc im enjoying hanging out with my buddy. not everything is nefarious. we're doing girl time

love the phrase "but I digress." yes I temporarily got lost in the moors I wander in my mind but don't worry I'm self-aware about it

"It's not normal, it's just normalized" what are we doing here guys. What are we doin

One day we will let go of "normal" as a synonym for "ethical" or "good" or "acceptable" or even "common" and we will, I truly believe, begin inventing better sentences

i got a fucking. advertisement on youtube. from google ai. saying. without sarcasm and with complete sincerity. "if shakespeare is too hard for you, you can always have our ai explain it to you." im gonna throw up. im gonna throw a molotov cocktail. if i see that ad again im reporting it for hate speech. how fucking dare you. i will kill you with my bare hands. with my exit pursued by a bear hands. i will tear google headquarters down brick by brick. im going to start biting people.

Ice tea and bruschetta when it's hot out makes me feel like one of those guys who gets interviewed on why he's so healthy at 116 years old

I love how in most of these the tall person looks happy or neutral and the short person looks like they're considering the consequences of killing the camera man

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica