honeycrisp apple in raincoat pocket

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

When the lighthouse guy was like "if I had a steak right now id fuck it" I related to that because that's how it is for me with steak and I haven't even been isolated in a remote lighthouse with a mean old man for months

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe

I think if we all start posting nipples at once they won't be able to stop all of us. and by they I don't just mean tumblr staff I'm referring to the entire world. I think the nipple is a very destigmatizable body part and I expect/demand it to be a normal thing within my lifetime. the fear of nipples is so weird and archaic, it's a body part dude

Jasmine Vine, lead programmer of Hollow Knight & Silksong just transitioned!! I'm so happy for her!❤️🏳️‍⚧️

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

people saying Nolan is woke and praising his Odyssey is a humiliation ritual when he didn't even make Odysseus a black woman and the sirens slutty gay men

The standards for woke have slipped so much. Back in woke 1.0 the Odyssey would have been considered an offensively anti-woke movie. In 2021 they made a He-Man TV show where He-Man dies in the first episode and a black woman takes his place for the rest of the show. They made the My Little Ponies start saying "everycreature" because "everypony" was a microaggression. Woke used to fucking mean something. Everycreature has forgotten now.

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him

well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself

If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.

The rats 100% think the businesses are being run for their benefit and worry about the humans being exploited.

A rat manager who is a rat and deals on their end of the deal is exhausted of having to explain over and over again that look, an average fully grown adult human being is like 200 times your weight, their hands are very fast and they can throw things better than you want to imagine. If one of them things didn't want you in their hair, you're not going to stay there for long. You'd be yote out the window in two seconds flat.

RataTWOille: the rats unionize for better conditions for them and their human puppets

Not everyone can easily come up with ideas for things to post every day

then just don't??

you obviously dont have 100+ followers and need to keep them happy

i didnt realize the situation you were in and i apologize for the callout

can youguys do me a favor and send a lot of hate mail to this user