Captain Mittens @captainmittenss - Tumblr Blog

tealfruit

I’m making bread

tealfruit

bread boys

tealfruit

my sons!

THEY’RE DELICIOUS

tealfruit

frog bread was tagged explicit. reblog the forbidden frog bread for luck and power

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retrogamingblog

humansoflatecapitalism

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

Apparently Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth just got hitched, and congratulations to them. But this is the first time I've seen Cyrus in a while and I'm shocked she looks human again. Whatever the hell she was doing these last few years is gone and she looks a lot more like she did when she was younger, but healthier. Good for her.

The demon jumped ship into Katy Perry.

Let me demonstrate

Era One: Miley is not possesed

Era Two: Miley is possessed by the Unknown Demon

Contact: Miley comes into close contact with Katy Perry

Transfer: Uknown Demon makes leap into Perry

Recovery: Miley recovers from possession

First Murder: Katy Perry, Possessed, proceeds to kill a Nun via stress in a legal battle over the purchase of a convent

This concludes my lecture on the rampant demon problem in Pop Music circles.

princessofbadvibes

This is…quite convincing…

diarygirls

book one harry: *loses 2 house points* oh my god they’re all going to hate me this is the biggest atrocity i have ever committed in my academic career, i have forever tarnished the reputation of gryffindor house

book six harry: *loses 70 points for gryffindor* * almost gets expelled* ask me if i give a motherfuck??

bauliya-deactivated20170628

Realistic character development

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clonerightsagenda

Shoutout to Ed for identifying as agnostic after God ripped two of his limbs off

theawesomeadventurer

a total power move

theawesomeadventurer

thatnordicguy

when your legs don’t work like they used to before

fullmetal-al-chemist

K

ilovemusicalyy

well-i-guess-i-own-a-furby-now

Oh my god it’s so big

teathattast

littlemissh0ney

UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

madmadamemimble

the lip syncing has me shook to absolute death

midnight-revolucion

You CAN’T WATCH ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER HALF!

badfoodnetworkpuns

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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tredlocity

at first i was like “why did they make those things in his head weird growths and not hair??” but then i looked it up on the Pokemon Wiki and

It was never hair and Mr. Mime has always been terrifying

automata-systemata-hydromata

That’s the only part of that entry you found terrifying?

sushinfood

photochoco

HUH????

liquidstar

thekingandqueenofcheese

Look at that hand on the leg, Ash’s mom is a freak

atheist-xmas

Ash heckled a Mr. Mime and now it’s his stepdad

fergzillar

Some dude: Hey bro you got the time?

Me: Yeah it’s fuckinuuuuuh [pulls a cat out of the inside of my jacket and looks it dead in the eyes] about 6pm

lumpawaroospaceprincess-moved-d

Context:

empirextress

I thought this was some shitpost and I just accepted it

s-gellar

mishasminions

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRED & DAPHNE

misha-let-me-touch-your-assbutt

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITTER JEALOUS LONELINESS HOWARD STERN

lastseasonsloser-deactivated201

YES SO GOOD!!!!!

illogical-bullshit

And she will be a completely different woman, but that’s alright.

Most folks with this guy’s mindset will go far in life.

cartoongoblin

I’m still proud of the fact that a couple of years ago, I tweeted to Sarah Michelle Gellar and asked if Stern had paid up on his bet. To my great surprise, she actually replied and said he hadn’t and he owed them money. 😂😂

blue-pixiedust

Reblog for Fred and Daphne to get their money

general-george-washington

It just occurred to me that people do not know about what some people make chicken coops out of and it’s a Shame

absolxguardian

Please, enlighten us

general-george-washington

So the thing with chickens are, they are adaptable and frankly, do not care.

you

can

use

just

about

anything

Here are some more that I like:

absolxguardian

This is amazing. I have been blessed by this knowledge

blurrydawgo-dead-blog-deactivat

@kookychicken

kookychicken

AAAAAAAAAAA

thornhands

@elodieunderglass

elodieunderglass

thank you so much for tagging me! I love this!

toastp1ercer

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