Bad Food Network Puns

Me watching kitchen nightmares in my pajamas at 3pm eating a freezer meal: ugh I can’t believe he didn’t use fresh parmesan for his lasagna ew

Subtract the hopes and prayers and it’s me

The only love and affection I get is from food network and the cooking channel

Are you ever like, I’m too tired to even focus on something as low stakes as Chopped, I need pure trash, I need Guy Fieri-level low stakes? Chopped is too intellectual for me right now. I’m officially Guy’s Grocery Games-level tired.

You know what will make me root against a Chopped contestant pretty much instantly? When they act preformatively disgusted by poor people food. Like, we get it- Coolwip and Hot Dogs aren’t exactly gourmet cuisine. But y'all just acted like pig snout was a delicious treat.Don’t pretend you’re revolted by canned soup.

i’ve been to Oklahoma and let me say, i was not under the impression that a state food was whole wheat pasta

the year is 2085. every show on the food network is hosted by alton brown’s cryogenically frozen body

That’s only 67 years from now. Why must we assume he won’t live to be 122?