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if i ever interacted with you and it was awkward just know im sorry and painfully aware that sometimes i come off like a person who is having the first conversation of their life

[distressed laugh of reminiscence] dragon age

notice how nobody liked being at work today

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

we have to start running a massive PSA campaign to young gay people so everyone understands there is a difference between being a dom and being a top and between being a sub and being a bottom. and also that sometimes you are neither a sub nor a bottom and you're just like shy. we need to be handing out flyers we need ads at every train station spreading the word

I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.

some of the music i listen to is straight up bad

"Europe must choose between wrong answer machine and preventing the collapse of the biosphere that supports life that might use that machine, says wrong answer machine hardware vendors"