The Squiggly Post

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

There's something so deeply calming about watching megafauna prance and gambol about like they're little lambs

Bison pronking is already so magical, and then the double rainbow and the happy birdsong just put it way over the top

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

ai this ai that how about we invent a printer that works first

to anyone reading this: be proud of yourself for continuing on— even when you thought you couldn’t hold on any longer. I see you, I love you, and I am routing for you every step of the way.

I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.