this blog is a museum of my heart

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

But like, objectively that’s so true from a narrative point of view. Going after Bucky, aside from the emotional motivation, always aligns with Steve’s worldview, his moral stance and his ethical pursuits. In CATFA he follows after Bucky twice: into the war because he “can’t do any less”, and then into Azzano because he’s “meant for more”. The one time he doesn’t/can’t go after Bucky is when he throws down the gauntlet with Hydra. In CATWS, while Bucky wasn’t always the key to the puzzle, he was the thread that ran through the whole movie. From “let’s find out what the ghost wants” to “SHIELD, Hydra, it all goes”, his existence (even before he was identified as Bucky) was what focused Steve’s efforts. Steve’s non-compromise when it comes to SHIELD-ra is both an ideologically and personally driven choice. In CACW again Steve’s protection of Bucky aligns with his bigger beliefs and goals: firstly everyone deserves a presumption of innocence and not a trial by public opinion, and secondly, only by retaining control of your own actions can you be responsible for them – Bucky being the extreme example of when that control is taken away. Going after Bucky genuinely aligns with Steve’s bigger philosophical goals in each movie.

“when the morning came, we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again” and “when the sun came up, i was looking at you” + “laughing with my feet in your lap, like you were my closest friend” and “we were lying on your couch, i remember” + “how the hell did we lose sight of us again?” and “we were built to fall apart, then fall back together” + “sobbing with your head in your hands” and “when you started crying, i did too” + “ain’t that the way shit always ends?” and “remember when we couldn’t take the heat?” + “i feel you no matter what the rubies that i gave up” and “i walked out, said i’m setting you free” + “the one i was dancing with in new york, no shoes” and “we decided to move the furniture so we could dance” + “i wake with your memory over me” and “i remember” + “that’s a real fucking legacy” and “i remember” + “i remember” + “i remember” + “i—

sometimes i think about how after her first record came out taylor swift would open for big country musicians and stay till the middle of the night in the venues to say hi and give autographs to anyone who wanted to meet her. sometimes i think about taylor swift on her first headlining tour looking out for kids in her merch, literally stopping her car to greet them. sometimes i think about how a kid met her at a grocery store but had no camera so taylor took a picture of them herself and then mailed it to her. sometimes i think about how she never held a paid meet and greet in her entire career. sometimes i think about how in the macy's meet and greet when wonderstruck came out a little kid got too nervous to go up to her in the little stage that was set up for taking pictures so taylor came down to say hi. sometimes i think about taylor swift being understandably uncomfortable about people waiting outside her home to meet her but being kind and taking pictures when there's small children because they're not responsible for their parents' invasion of privacy. sometimes i think about taylor swift telling “shut up” and standing up to her security team to say hello to fans

you can try and twist t-party/club red/loft 89/rep room or the secret sessions or swiftmas into something she did for publicity but the truth is she's always gone above and beyond to say hi and appreciate the people who listen to her music even when there's basically no one watching

i hate when a poem is good. Fuck you for saying that for real