the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

"alas" is a truly S tier english word. fantastic mouthfeel, makes me sound like a world-weary wizard, looks cool when written out. good job to whoever created this word.

why is privacy so eroded. I get treated like a nutcase if I say no, I don't want strange companies taking pictures of my home and putting them online for maps or whatever. I don't want to be in the background of your tiktok, and I think it's weirder for you to assume I'm okay with it than it is for me to politely ask you to refilm it so my face isn't in the frame. I don't enjoy handing my employer a list of every online account I have and feeling under surveillance when I'm just shit posting or sharing pictures of my cats or garden harvest. I don't want to hear your private calls on speaker on the bus, esp when the person on the line doesn't know you're broadcasting their words to strangers. I don't want an algorithm guessing what will piss me off the most so I spend more time online, engaging with shit I don't want to see or hear out of outrage. I don't want any of this. it's total ass.

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

can I say something. it is really funny when you see people ripping random queer books to shreds, like dream daddy cancellation style, and then you dig a little deeper to see what unproblematic material meets their standards, and it's all Supernatural and Death Note

BABY DOES NOT NEED SMOKO

IS THAT FUCKING FELTED????? THIS IS GORGEOUS BABY SMOKO