You can't speak butterfly language 2 catterpillars

When a parent decides to keep a child, they are taking responsibility for them for the next 18 years. This includes consistent food, regular sleep, a roof over their head and safety from harm (physical, mental and sexual). 

However, this also includes supporting your child in the choices they make past an age of competent cognitive reasoning, always respecting their boundaries and privacy, a relaxed amount of workflow and direct communication with the child. You agree to help understand and support them through illness (Both mental and physical) and prepare them best for the time that they will leave.

Parents do not own their children. A child deserves their own belongings and space. They are a human just as anyone else.

I love you all. Please stay safe,

1. Look at your pill organizer. Did you take last night’s pills? That’s why.

2. Did you get a full night’s sleep last night? No. That’s why. Get some melatonin and Sleepytime Tea and knock yourself out. A 90 minute nap will unfuck you. 

3. Did you eat? That’s why. Carbs even me out the quickest, then I eat something with fiber and protein. Ideally I also eat a fruit or vegetable. 

4. Has your behavior seemed more disordered lately? Time to call your med doctor. You might need a lithium level or a med adjustment.

5. Have you been dealing with more stress or overworking at school or work? That’s why. Work on a list of coping mechanisms during this time. Breathing, self care, cooking meals, full nights sleep, media distractions, venting to a friend, group therapy or support groups, mindful meditation, grounding exercises. Take a ten minute break to sit in the hallway outside your workstation and relax your breathing. Don’t self judge. It’s going to be okay.

6. Do you have a uterus? Has it been 25-35 days? That’s why. 

7. Have you been consuming an unusual amount of caffeine, sugar, drugs, or alcohol? That’s why.

8. Have you noticed psychotic symptoms getting worse? For me, this means obsessing over my zodiac, the radio, spotify playlists, and social media for hidden signs. It’s referential delusions. When things start to feel too “spooky”, I challenge those thoughts by asking how logical they are. 

9. Have you made yourself unhappy by looking at your triggers? That’s why. Self control is an art form.

10. Are you judging yourself for your coping mechanisms? We’re all out here trying to survive. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are coping mechanism that are hurting you. Excessive use of coping mechanisms is what is bad. Spending A LITTLE money or eating A LITTLE junk food or having ONE DRINK is okay. You don’t have to call yourself fat as some sort of self shaming ritual every time you relapse and eat some Doritos. Even if you’re already fat. You gotta say to yourself “Is this that dangerous? Is this becoming a bad habit? Is this a big deal?” If not, do you what you need to do. 

11. Are you ruminating a lot before bed and during your idle time? Ask yourself “Is this thought helping me or ruining my mood?” Allow yourself a little time, but too much world-building or catastrophizing or fetishizing the past is bad. Recognize when you’re doing it.

12. Have you felt unloved or ignored by your friends? Reach out to them yourself. Call in your B list friends if you need to. Yeah we all have those friends, and they might be happy to hear from you. Worst case scenario, call the Suicide Hotline. 

13. Are you spending a lot of time hating on other people or fixating on conflicts in your personal life? Is this actually helping you? Release that anger. Find a way to channel it into something. Angrily walk around the block. Rage clean your house. There is a recycling plant in my town that has a big glass bottle sorting area. Throwing glass as hard as I can into a big pit? Bliss. 

14. Spend your money on something healthy instead of the BS. I love spending money on dumb shit and I will buy the whole mall if the check allows it. But my car needed front wheels. And gas. And I needed to mealprep. My cat needed vitamins. I need Therapy to keep myself healthy. Even putting a chapstick in your car when you constantly need it and forget to get one will elevate your life. Where are you spending that money? What’s going to protect you? 

15. Are you feeling disconnected from the world and other people? Go to the library, turn off your phone, and just look around. Let it be a quiet time. 

*The camera focuses on the host, is it the TV host or the system host? No one actually knows*

Good evening everyone, and welcome back to Dissociation Tonight. And now please welcome our special guest star…

*The guest star was not prepared to switch, and sits there, sort of panicking, trying to figure out what the actual fuck is happening*

“Moving on, let’s look at the current events”

*Cut to a montage of the day’s experience, complete with lots of overthinking, stress, general exhaustion and other fun feelings.*

And let’s look at the pressing matters.

*Cut to nothing. Because amnesia*

Thanks for watching and we’ll see you next time! 

*Cut to credits but the next scheduled time hardly lines up with the time the next episode is released because time and dissociation don’t like each other*

they don’t tell you that you can experience mental illnesses without even realizing it for years or that abuse more often than not looks like love. they don’t tell you that sometimes it feels like you’re getting better or you’re having a breakthrough but then the next day you feel like you’re spiraling again. they don’t tell you that you will always be recovering. they don’t tell you that it’s okay to feel negative about things even after they’re over.

recovery is not one size fits all, so please don’t hold yourself to an expectation like that when you see other people healing “faster”. it’ll take time and patience. but you will get there even if it doesn’t just magically happen one day.

if you can quarter ass something, do it! if all you can do is clean a corner of your room, or only read one of the two assigned chapters, or write the heading for your resume, or put all the papers for taxes in a pile, do it! if today isn’t a whole ass day, take pride in the portion of ass that you were capable of

You’re doing great! 🐟❤️ I know it can be tough, but you’re surviving and making it work!