Cheese

Obviously, there are Eridian kids with special needs, and a few of them even filter into his classes. But one specific type of special needs kid has never shown up in his classes, and the only reason he even learned of the condition is because Rocky and Adrien's first pebble has the condition.

It's initially quite a struggle for them to deal with, and Grace sympathizes of course, because the child will apparently have huge learning and academic struggles and will likely never be able to live on their own. That is, until he learns the details of the disability.

Basically, it's a condition where the part of the Eridian brain that gives them their eidetic memory isn't fully developed, and so these kids just... can't remember things the way most eridians do. And in a culture where an eidetic memory is the norm, all things cater to that, so not having that is actually a massive disability.

But Grace is like, so... this kid just learns the same way a human does, or something like. Which is nothing new to him, though he is somewhat boggled at how much Rocky and Adrian struggle with their infant and their "slow" learning curve, even as far as initial developmental stages. Grace, on the other hand, simply treats the kid the same way he would a human infant, and Rocky and Adrien are impressed with his patience.

But, through this, it occurs to Grace that there must be other kids out there with this disability who likely aren't getting the attention and chances in life that they deserve, because Eridian culture is particularly hostile toward this disability, and actively views those with it as unable to function in regular society.

So Grace demands that a special course be put together where he teaches kids with this disability specifically. Rocky is hesitant, as most kids with this disability are home schooled and kind of... kept shut away. But Grace insists and as one of Erid's saviors, he gets what he wants eventually.

His first class is super small, maybe only three kids because so few parents were willing to advertise that their children have this disability. And because of the stigma around it, even those who agreed to it are super unsure and want to be present during the lessons, perhaps paranoid about the impression it will leave on Savior Grace, who is so accustomed to only teaching the most gifted students.

But Grace knows exactly how to deal with these kids. Some of them have varying degrees of function when it comes to their memory banks, which isn't so unlike teaching kids on earth. And so Grace is able to introduce all these tools and teaching techniques that were previously unheard of on Erid (though very normal on Earth) like having textbooks for reference with you at all times and having strategies that are less focused on memorization for understanding, and providing these kids with tools like calculators and teaching them the art of taking notes to look back on, etc etc.

Suddenly, with all these tools that most Eridians don't need, these kids are learning at a much faster rate, and succeeding with the help of all their little tools. And because so many normal eridians are ignorant of Grace's actual biology, it's shocking to them that Savior Grace doesn't have an eidetic memory either (shocking to everyone but Rocky anyway)--that his brain functions quite similarly in capacity to these "disabled" children.

Once this news gets around, suddenly there's more kids in his special classes, and there's all kinds of discourse being inflamed because the real reason these kids can't live on their own or function is lack of support from Eridian society.

If Savior Grace, who is well respected as a genius in his own right amongst the Eridians, can function so successfully, they why can't these kids?

Like yes, you could make a valid argument that "death worlds" are probably common or that other species are also batshit and it's honestly pretty likely that we would consider truly alien environments to be as mindblowing as we imagine ourselves being to other species.

But most of the time when I see people posting in the HASO tag, it's just something cool they noticed about themselves or the people they love and celebrating the joy they feel in being human.

Because really? We don't know what aliens will be like. We have no idea. They could look like anything. But we know that humans poison ourselves for fun, risk our lives to save deadly creatures, pack bond like nobody's business. We're the best endurance runners in the as-yet-known universe. Our brains are so coded for tool use they treat cars and planes and cranes as extensions of our bodies; and so coded for social bonds that we see faces in rocks and trees and teach our robots to sing themselves happy birthday.

And our planet? It has so many kinds of spiders and so many kinds of fungi and so many creatures that like to get pets and SO many animals that will get themselves drunk on fermented fruit or jellyfish zaps if given the chance. Dihydrogen monoxide, the universal solvent capable of dissolving more substances than any other liquid we know, falls from the sky and we dance in it. Our world is deadly as fuck and beautiful in its danger and in its wonder.

At our best, we imagine a future in which we are a benefit and a joy not only to our planet but to the universe. We dream of meeting alien species and inviting them home to meet our parents. We make art imagining all the ways we could be part of a galactic community.

None of the humans were prepared for this.

The humans prepared for decades- for centuries! to contact life out in the black, and be judged harshly for their past. To be judged and found wanting.

The aliens, almost to the one, seemed delighted with humanity and everything they entailed. Good, bad, and ugly.

“You see, we heard you calling out for long, long, long… we could not find where you called out from. Now we have! You called for so long, and now we meet you! It is good to know you! We have tried so hard to find you and say, Hello!”

Spanish speaking customer: *comes up to the counter asking for front brake pads and sparks plugs*

Me, in English: Yeah, no problem! Ano? Marca? *get his car year, make and model plugged in, go find his parts, bring them to him*

Spanish speaking customer: *as he inspects the parts, starts in on some story about his mechanic and the brakes that involves a bit more cussing than most guys usually use*

Me, having to waive him off: Sir, um, no comprende? Un momentito por favor. *pulls up google translate, types out “the only Spanish I speak is car parts and the bad words”*

Spanish speaking customer:*straight up cackles, pats me on the back, pays, and leaves*

I think we found the perfect enrichment for human crew members.

Our humans really enjoyed this area we provided for them.

They can run, fall, climb and more, to their hearts content.

They really enjoy being lifted and thrown into a large pit of foam blocks, or plastic spheres.

Note: our crew is mostly Xarnian, so we possess the necessary strength to lift the average adult human despite the density they have evolved on their deathworld.

Human larvae enjoy it the most, but even the mature humans are also thrilled by these activities.

“Yes, Commander? Do you recommend initiating contact with them?”

“To be honest, I am torn on the issue.”

“Do explain.”

“As you know, they are mortal flesh containing a consciousness. But sir … their consciousnesses don’t pass on to a different flesh when the flesh dies.”

“Mmm, they return to one great consciousness, do they?”

“Nnnnnno, sir. There is no one great consciousness. They just *die*. They’re just gone.”

“BUH — WHA — well that’s preposterous, where do they get the new consciousness from?”

“They make a new one. A brand new one. Every time a new human is conceived, they build a new consciousness, and every time a human dies, that consciousness is gone forever. … … … Sir?”

“How do they have any kind of body of knowledge, then? … … … Well that seems incredibly inefficient, it would take years for one of them to learn enough to be able to do anything! But if you say this is how they do it … My stars, man, that means they would be *aware* that they had an expiration date! It means they would know the *new consciousnesses they made* would inevitably die!”

“Yes sir. Mortality weighs heavily upon them.”

“To think such a time-limited species could become intelligent and not any of the normal ones on this planet.”

“Ummmmm. All life on that planet is the same way.”

“… … … I am tempted to simply mark it down as the saddest goddamn thing in the entire universe and move on.”

“Thank you, sir, yes, I agree.”

“Why the thank you?”

something based on a seinfeld scene

I was OFLINE for ONE DAY