PenPaladin @penpaladinjules - Tumblr Blog

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

wizardshark

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place

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“Are you awake?”

Yes, in every sense of the word, and I’m going to complain about it all day

thestuffedalligator

The heartbreak I felt when I saw this and then learned the contest is limited to children under the age of 12

ddeck

i should watch more movies and i should read more and i should get a new hobby and i should pick my old hobbies back up and i should clean my house and i should start exercising regularly and i should get a degree in something and i should quit my job and i should commit a crime and i should burn down a building and actually i should leave my life and become a hermit living in the mountains and talking to birds

penpaladinjules

Reading this from a literal cabin in the mountains, can confirm that’s the correct option

systlin

So my sister wants to start sewing more, because

a. She’s 5′ 11″ and can never find pants long enough for her legs or shirts long enough for her arms.

b. She hates synthetic fibers as much as I do and it’s difficult to find natural fiber clothes that aren’t made of cotton

c. She’s a biologist and would physically fistfight microplastics if given half a chance

So her gift from mom and dad for her birthday was a sewing machine. Not a super expensive one but a good solid serviceable one.

And recently she asked “So where do I GET wool or linen and thread that isn’t polyester” and mom was like ‘go ask your sister’

And I, of course, crashed into the group text like “GET A PEN I HAVE WEBSITES FOR U” and honestly I’m thrilled about this

systlin

“Where did u get all this”

“Bets, u know I’m a 15th degree blackbelt of buying shit on the internet”

“oh yeah tru”

hermesmuse

Op can may we inquire about the website list

systlin

Linen; https://www.graylinelinen.com/

cotton and Silk thread; https://redrockthreads.com/

Linen thread and wool fabric; https://burnleyandtrowbridge.com/ (they’ve got wool stuffs and worsted wool fabric for $15 a yard! I just got three yards of navy worsted wool I’m making a constellation winter skirt from)

More linen thread and wool; https://wmboothdraper.com/ (just ordered wool broadcloth to make a coat)

Silk fabric (THE best place to get silk lining fabrics and raw silk fabric):https://www.dharmatrading.com/

A varying assortment of wool and silk and cotton and even some leather, use coupon code spring2020 for 50% off your full order, worked yesterday when I bought some stuff there; https://metrotextilesnyc.com/

Wool. You want wool coating for under $20 a yard? Sure you do. It’s here. Not a huge variety of colors, most are black or brown, but hey https://www.fashionfabricsclub.com/Catalog?refinementIds=4096748&Keyword=wool&pageSize=16

wingedtyger

I don’t know a lot about sewing, but I want to make or have my mom make some linen pants & shirts for when I’m watering, because it gets to 105 here and we have mosquitos so I need to be covered. What type of linen do I buy? Also, linen pajama shorts, yes/no?

(I’ve been wearing my renfaire pants which are a linen mix, I think. But the frikking mosquitos that hide in the tomatoes get my arms)

systlin

Medium weight is what I’d go with.

And linen pajama shorts is a HARD yes.

beggars-opera

Renaissance Fabrics is good for all sorts of things

Mood doesn’t specialize in natural fabrics but they do have basically every fabric ever made so

the-merry-otter

For wools, I cannot recommend Woolsome enough! They’re a bit more expensive then the above links, but they have a spectacular range of colours and weights, as well as diamond pattern and herringbone weaves. They also have a range of linens, though not as extensive.

Historical fabrics for re-enactors

justgarb

Tiedtohistory.com has sheer voile linen

The Linen Lab has a variety of weaves, weights, and colors available

Period Fabric has a variety of wools, but switch to the full website if you’re on mobile

liminalbeauty

Bernadette Banner did a quality test on all the linen she could buy online. This video is the result.

And this store is in Canada if you need to avoid the insane markup from the US right now-

Everyday Linen Our Everyday Linen collection features versatile mid-weight 100% linen fabrics ideal for garments and everyday sewing proj

penpaladinjules

OH THANK FUCKING GOD

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daciancatamite

"my great grandmother who survived 3 wars and raised 10 children by herself while working in a factory watching me go to therapy because my parents yelled at me" ok but your great grandmother was also miserable. maybe your great grandmother would be happy you try your best to not be miserable

daciancatamite

like have you considered your ancestors wouldve wished to see you be less miserable than them

pain-in-the-riri

my great grandmother was dodging several genocides so i don't think she'd care if i went to therapy

penpaladinjules

If my great-grandmother wished upon me the same pain she endured, then great-grandmother can suck a bag of dicks. I hope my great-grandchildren live happy lives of peace and abundance.

rednines

If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s

catgirlcaliphate

I’m just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.

neutral-wizard-offical

Of course. Purely for education.

thecharliechip

Guys. The data centers

penpaladinjules

Ooo what an interesting historical fact with noooooooooooo modern application

hellyeahscarleteen

“There often seems to be an assumption that men who say they’re bisexual are actually gay, for example, and that women who say they’re bisexual are actually straight. Is attraction to male bodies considered the default? Those assumptions sure make it sound that way. There’s almost an expectation that eventually, you’ll pick a “side” when such narratives are incredibly damaging. It can make us feel pressured to “pick”, when there’s really no reason why we should need to. A bisexual man could be with a woman his entire life – but that doesn’t for one second mean that he’s straight. Alternatively, he could be with men and men only, and this wouldn’t make him gay if he didn’t identify as such.”

Adam England, Staying Seen: Being Bi in Relationships with Straight People

penpaladinjules

What I find especially bizarre about the “bisexuals must just be into guys, really” assumption is that *the majority of guys are not that attractive.* Every straight couple I know is a beautiful woman + some guy in a hat. Women are portrayed in art as beautiful, in a way that men rarely are. So whyyyyyyy would attraction to men be the default? Should be the other way around. Boobs are super great.

stxrfiish

body positivity can be so hard when ur chronically ill like ‘your body loves you and is doing its best to care for you ❤️’ NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT

penpaladinjules

“Love your body not for how it looks, but for what it can do!” Yeah well it apparently also can’t go outside if it’s over 85, its cartilage is falling apart faster than an appliance just out of warranty, and is currently failing to digest cheese.

goldensunset

ok i’ve been curious about something. can you name a character who is, all three at once,

1. canonically female (no variation)

2. canonically the protagonist of her story (if it’s an ensemble cast you have to say you can legitimately see her as The main character)

3. your personal #1 favorite character in that story (ties are acceptable)

yes

super nuance bald extract button (use this wisely)

Voting ended onAug 12

penpaladinjules

The vast majority of T Kingfisher’s novels

Several Seanan McGuire novels

Several Sarah Gailey

At least 3 NK Jemisin

And “The Last Unicorn” by Peter Beagle. Note that it is the only one here written by a man. So much of the time, authors who are men just seem to *not like women at all*. It’s weird.

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prokopetz

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

xeansicemane

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

I've seen it pointed out a few times that the various toxins mentioned above did technically have the desired effect, given humans started cultivating the plants and thus protected them from predators/insects, and spreading their seeds far and wide. I just like the idea of evolution/DNA in the examples above being like a benevolent Monkey Paw for the plants.

brazilian-whalien52

I mean when you think about the amount of lactose intolerant people that just completly ignore the negative effect in favor of the teste, you can understand human race and food better

penpaladinjules

Listen

I know that eating this bag of Sour Patch Kids Chews is going to make me feel like SHIT.

And that will not stop me.

headspace-hotel

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

headspace-hotel

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

headspace-hotel

Since I made this post, dozens and dozens of people have left tags telling me that it was the first thing today that made them want to continue living, that it was the first thing that made them consider that they might be okay years in the future, that they might grow old, that it was the first and only post of its kind they'd ever seen—the first post that boldly predicts a future where we make it.

And many other people have been just spitting, foaming at the mouth fucking FURIOUS. How dare I have the audacity to imagine a future where things get better?

Don't I know how BAD things are? Am I not aware of the TERROR and DEVASTATION of climate change and fascism and biodiversity loss? How dare someone be so bold, so callous, as to imagine something other than misery and suicide. How dare someone suggest it will get better. How dare a person propose that there is a future where we will be okay, in the face of so much terror. Hasn't she seen the abyss opening its jaws before us?

Well? What do you think?

Do you think I've seen the abyss?

boringkate

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

penpaladinjules

I WILL BE THE LAST ONE STANDING

soundoftheirwings

Gotta tell you guys something wild in the Chinese fan sphere

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

And that is how this charity received over 1 million in donations in three days lol. Oh btw the “freedom of expression” side won by a landslide (960k to 40k)

tlbodine

From now on this is how all petty fandom disputes should be settled.

flagellant

xenthosss

@returnsnull7404

aviantastic

Tree Swallows by Linda H. Dulak - Audubon Photography Awards

fluentisonus

barn swallows depicted in the “spring fresco”, akrotiri, thera, greece. c. 16th century BC

cryptidofthecove

english-mace

nonononononono

‘saw from the 1600s’ = ~400 years ago

this fresco is from ~3600 years ago

lenacraft

Have been watching the tree swallows for ~3600 years. Wonderful. May we get another ~3600.

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batsandboba

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game

penpaladinjules

Man, I’m never gonna catch that blasted coralroot that I KNOW is somewhere along the creek … 😭

colemckenzies

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

ggiornojo

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

colemckenzies

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

animatedamerican

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).