He has pulled EVERYTHING out from under his house and is very pleased with himself.

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@penpaladinjules
He has pulled EVERYTHING out from under his house and is very pleased with himself.

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I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought
Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about noā¤ļø
I have a fabulous lasagna recipe that calls for either make your own marinara or Classico (brand name specific because the flavor profile is known + it's gluten-free).
Guess which one I always opt for.
My kids are going to hate the book of recipes I leave behind because they are just notes from my past self to my future self and contain such gems as ācook some potatoesā, āthrow in whatever vegetable in the fridge is about to go offā, and āmaybe add cheeseā.
Buzz Aldrin punching a moon landing denier in the face at the age of 72. Lol.
This video has been almost completely scrubbed off the internet because the loser who got decked keeps suing everyone. Luckily for you guys EYE have a copy of the video! :)
In honor of the Artemis 2 launch!!! Suck it crazies in the chat yelling about how NASA is using AI!!!
"you're a coward and a liar" it wasn't that long ago a man could be shot or stabbed with a sword for saying that to another man and nobody would think the man defending his honor had done anything wrong.
Also, Mr. Aldrin had an active military career before his astronaut days and i'd say he hasn't forgotten how to throw a damn good punch -- just look at his wide stance
10/10 well-deserved punch
additional info
at the time, Aldrin was 72 years old, 6 foot 2 inches, and 250 pounds. Sibel (the man he punched) was 37 years old
Sibel has made multiple "documentaries" about the moon landing being fake and has repeatedly harassed the astronauts involved, in this instance getting Aldrin to agree to the above meeting by pretending to be doing an interview on space for a Japanese children's television show
Buzz Aldrin's step-daughter was present, and in addition to being poked repeatedly and aggressively with a bible (Sibrel wanted him to swear on a bible that he went to the moon) Aldrin felt the man following them into the hotel refusing to leave them alone might pose a threat to her
charges against Aldrin were either dropped or never filed, based on Aldrin's lack of a prior criminal record, witness accounts of Sibrel's having drawn Aldrin to the hotel under false pretenses, Sibrel's aggressiveness before the punch, and Sibrel having declined to seek medical attention and sustaining no obvious injury visible to witnesses during the incident
"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"
I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,
Iām bringing all kinds of livestock to South America about 3000 years ago. Letās see how the Europeans do against a population that isnāt devastated by smallpox.

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was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast
Do you knit or crochet? I think you would fit in well.
I am a textile artist. This is accurate.
much has been said already about the supreme court case and trans rights but today i'm thinking extra hard about trans kids who have been sent into the psych system for any reason, who have to bear the lack of autonomy innate to it but the extra sting of being denied the right to your name and your gender in sex-segregated facilities, by transphobic staff, etc.
i'm thinking extra hard about how we've ended up where we are, with trans kids at the center of so much hatred, because children are not seen as people with interiority or an ability to narrate their own experiences. we've decided it's alright to lock children up for horrible diagnoses that psychs throw around like they're nothing, to strip their autonomy completely and force them through humiliation, invasions of privacy, and endless torment by "professionals" whose power over every waking moment of their lives has no end. these things cannot be separated.
i'm thinking today of every trans child in a wilderness camp, in a residential treatment facility, in psych wards and PHP/IOP programs, especially those whose transness has been tied to unwellness. fuck the psych industry and the troubled teen industry and transphobia forever
There were good fucking reasons I got my kid and myself out of Texas and fled to Colorado. This was one of them.
ya'll i'm fucking bored so i'm gonna start a reblog chainn use this picrew makerrr
ya'll moots pls join
@francis-forever-111 @ez-006 @yshy-99917 and anyone interested pls joinnn
ts is NOT me but alr
@ez-006 @yshy-99917 @kill-me-kill-me-now @cinnamon-vanilla-scented-candle @weedletum + anyone who wants to joinnnn
WHO'S THAT AND WHY IS SHE PRETTY?!
Guys i do NOT look that good, trust
Though I am glad that there was an option tha was close to how my glasses actually look
Anyways the conclusion to draw here is that I am the lovable side character who gets killed in the second book (not in the first because I'm not completely stupid, but i won't survive through it all because I'm not that smart after all)
@reginald-fillibus @1lovelylavender @mrecury42 @rottenflesheatmelon @lordsabove @itsm0onshine @therainatdawn + open tags :))
She is beautiful
Trust
This is me
What can I say
I'm a bitch like that
Taggies :3
@localcelestialcreature62 @aurite-aj @phantombegruvia @ilovedesserts25 @mrecury42 @quantumm76 @fastfouriertransformer @welcome-listeners-to-night-vale @wethewatchers @questionableaardvark
@welcome-listeners-to-night-vale @weird-trash-panda @mincetheungratefulbrat @murderous-beetroot @thehighvisionary @therainatdawn @kill-me-kill-me-now +open tags
gorgeous!!!!!!!
WOAH (these aren't the clothes I wear, but I wish I had lol)
This is me?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAA
I love him<3
@attheendhello @mrecury42 @humblefryingpan @h3adph0nez @rangerofthesouth @applepixls @randomfangirl32
@ moots!
I really cant think rn lmao
Thank you for the tag @lunardelphox and @thehighvisionary aaand the lovely @questionableaardvark !! This was fuuuunnnnnn i feel so special to have been tagged three times (*^ā½^)/ā *āāŖ
...kinda looks like me...except my hair is..pink and purple and black and well I don't own this hoodie but now I really want to...
Open taaaagssss
@yourdarklordmelkor @pigsducksflowers @weird-trash-panda
Okay if you see this with your eyeballs, please join usss...I am so tired and sleeeppyy
ooooooooo thanks for the tag!!!!!
i have strawberry earrings that look like this. theyāre just little though :)
(no pressure) tagging @papita474 @leucisticpuffin @ulmondil @crypticcuntking @crisis-of-florian @sadsilmarilsoup @happyperle and anyone else who wants to!
the eyebrows aren't that dark irl! and my moles are a little different obviously, my glasses too, but you get the whole picture! anyways, this was fun, thank you!
id like to perhaps invite: @russingonshipper45 @ardanelvilyafeanturi @rrr6867 @gothratkingg @ladysterndust maybe? š¤·š¼āāļø
now just pretend the fangs are piercings and thats pretty much me. fun fact, im allergic to the sun and have Other health problems, making me the most pallid and corpse like guy you ever did see. no im not a vampire, the allegations are false, dont worry about it
@faefen join me
Iām glad I could accurately depict how messy my hair is⦠itās straight in the back and curly in the front lol. The clothes are also accurate, except for the dog pin. I do have some dog pins on my backpack though!
Tagging cool people! No pressure: @gerardwayscrustyeyeshadow @dogdaysareover365 @jadethecatytreal
Thanks for the tag :> alrdy did this one but I'm gonna put it here anyways
Open tags!!
@dancingspirals Accurate?
being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that youāre supposed to do warm up sketches every time youāre about to work on serious art when youāre fuckin twenty-five
someone: oh yeah, do this exercise during your warm ups! itāll help
me: my what
Whatās up I have an actual college degree in art and I was never ONCE taught to do warm ups.
when i was in undergrad, it was kind of mentioned in and offhand way that we should do warmups, but we were never shown what that meant. And, yāknow, we were young so it didnāt matter so much.Ā
Being older now and having an art job itāsā¦kind of essential.Ā
So: a quick primer for those of you who are likeĀ āok but how do i actually go about doing this warmup thing.āĀ
1) you may be tempted to doĀ āa warmup drawingā which is just a drawing that will take longer than it needed to and probably be frustrating and kind of bad because you didnāt warm up first. Itās tempting but always a trick your brain is playing on you! Do not trust!Ā
2) warmups will vary based on what feels good to you/what task youāre about to do/what motor skills you want to practice. That being said, some good standbys:
a) circles. Just a whole page of circles on whatever drawing surface youāre going to be using, whether thatās your tablet or your sketchbook or a drawing pad on an easel. For these circles you should make sure that youāre drawing from your shoulder and not your wrist. In fact, you want to be drawing from your shoulder rather than your wrist most of the time! forever! your wrist is delicate please preserve it!Ā
In order to ensure that youāre drawing from your shoulder, when youāre holding your pencil or whatever drawing tool youāre using, the only part of your hand that should be touching the drawing surface is part of the last two fingersāsome people prefer the finger tips, but I tend to favor the first knuckles. Either way, the fingers should really be ghosting over the surface, providing guidance rather than support.Ā
I usually start with big circles and then go to smaller circles and lines of ellipses, and then try to fit circles and ellipses inside other shapes iāve already drawn as a precision exercise, but i donāt do that unless iām feeling loose
b) spirals! i donāt always do spirals, but if iām stiff and the circles just arenāt cutting it, spirals are a good fall back. I start from the center and work outward, going both clockwise and counterclockwise until i feel comfortable with the whole range of motion. Some people really care about getting perfect spirals but for me itās all about making sure iām comfortable with how iām moving so who really even cares about how the spirals look. Not me!Ā
c) lines! straight lines! in parallel! i do a mix of vertical, horizontal, and diagonal. These are often more from the elbow than the shoulder, especially if Iām working on a smaller surface. For this exercise, I recommend holding the drawing tool perpendicular with the surface
d) connect the dots. This is a precision and accuracy exercise and takes two forms. The first is to draw two dots and then draw a straight line between them. The second is to draw three dots and draw the curve that connects them. This sounds a lot simpler than it is in practice. Take time to ghost over the line you plan to draw before actually committing to your line. (I donāt always remember where I picked up my warm up exercises, but Iām pretty sure I got this one from Scott Robertson. His how to draw and how to render books are very technical but also accessible and worth checking out)
e) cubes, spheres, cones, and cylinders. These help get your brain into a more volumetric space. I draw multiples of each, rotating the forms around, and Iāll often take the time to do some rough shading on at least a few of them
f) spidermans! This one is really good if youāre going to be storyboarding or working on dynamic poses. Just fill a page full of spidermans doing all sorts of acrobatics.Ā
g) beans. I donāt do beans too much anymore, but I know a lot of people like it so Iām mentioning it here. Fill an area with different size bean shapes without lifting your pencil off the paper.Ā
h) short medium and long line repetition. draw a short, medium, and long line on your page, and then draw directly on top of them 8 to 12 times, doing your best to exactly trace what youāve already drawing. Repeat with a wavy line. Iām bad at this one, which means I probably need to do it more.Ā
And there are lots more options too! Hit up youtube to see what other people recommend, put together your own go-to list, mix it up when youāre getting bored, etc.Ā
This is a long list, I know, but I usually donāt take more than 10 to 15 minutes to warm up, and I can warm up one handed while Iām drinking coffee, so, multitasking hurrah.Ā
Sometimes Iāll advance to a precision warmup and find that I havenāt loosened up enough yet; itās totally ok to go back to an earlier exercise! Also, all of this has the added benefit of kind of ritualistically getting you into the drawing mode so even if Iām not feeling it before I start, by the time Iāve gotten to the end Iām usually Ready For Drawinā. Brain hacks.Ā
so, yeah! thatās a lot of words, but! Warmups are important! Save your joints, take less advil, do better drawings!Ā
How on earth are you supposed to draw from a sholder? might as well tell me to draw from the foot. It makes no sense
https://youtu.be/pMC0Cx3Uk84
https://youtu.be/NBE-RTFkXDk
:3
Reblogging to save a wrist
Hi I have a literal animation degree and I learned fucking āØnone⨠of this
Rocky chose a hand to match Grace's scar!

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on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldnāt helpĀ feel like the OāConnells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The OāConnells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibinā over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time
Morticia: āSo what is it you do for a living my dear?ā
Evelyn: āWe dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!ā
Morticia: āfascinatingā
Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!
Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty
Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh heās screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!
*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*
Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I havenāt really expanded enough on how wonderful she is
Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better
*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*
Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.
Jonathan and Thing knew one another from The War; each thought the other to be dead
Their reunion is highly emotional
Rick, whilst swordfighting:Ā My wife resurrected an ancient evil that brought about the plagues.
Gomez: What. A. Woman.
I made a mistake on Bluesky and now my notifications wonāt stop but hey iāll post it here too!
Anti-Prime sale on bookshop.org until the 11th
prime day is back until the 26th! if anyone wants to pre-orderĀ The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo, this is a great chance to get free shipping
YES, this is a huge reason to support bookshop.org!
reblog if you like to see your own characters tortured
@pangur-and-grim this feels like you as well
Me: look at this character, so sweet, so kind, just the best human I can come up with
Me, chapter 5: Letās stab him
people will say ātheyāre only friendsā and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each otherās coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each otherās houses as ghosts. be serious.
Just an FYIāthe original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. š«¶š¼
āāJustā friendship? A poor modifier for so high and honorable a state.ā
Friendship is not a consolation prize. It is precious.
99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME
BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND
PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING
Happy Pride, cave dwellers š¦

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Today I start my ninth decade on earth. Itās astounding and distressing, but I suppose itās better than the alternative. In his latter years, my father would always answer my weekly phone question, āHow are you, Dad?ā with a brisk āStill here!ā Several of my joints ache, I canāt remember shit, I can no longer do 20 pushups at a clip, several good friends have passed, my bald spot is claiming more territory, and I canāt hear very well (especially in restaurants). But, hey, Iām still here. And hardly alone. All 1946 boomers still here are turning 80. More babies were born in 1946 than in any other year of American history up to then. Dolly Parton is one. She has been 80 since January 19 of this year. I still havenāt met her. Meeting her has been on my bucket list for six decades. Sheās my height. We have similar values. Iāve been in love with her since I was 15, but so far, zilch. When I was a small boy, my grandma Frances was courted by a man named Jack Hirsch, who was then 80. I had never before encountered someone as old as Jack. I was scared to speak loudly in his presence, or sneeze, or cough, for fear heād fall over and die. I remember thinking he could be Methuselah (who, according to the Bible, lived until the ripe old age of 969). What happens after you hit a ripe old age? Do you ripen until you rot? Three score and ten is the number of years of life set out in the Bible. Modern technology and Big Pharma add at least a decade, bringing us 1946 boomers to where we are now. Yesterday I ran into a former student who upon seeing me exclaimed, āYou look great!ā I thanked her even though she was probably just being polite. An elderly friend once told me there were four ages to life: youth, middle age, old age, and āYou look great.ā Iām now in the fourth stage. My wish for you is that you have a long lifespan and a long health-span, that you relish every day you have, spend time with people you love and value, let go of all the petty crap, wish no one ill (except perhaps Trump), and continue to fight for whatās good and noble and important. And regardless of your age, my thanks to you for joining me on this journey. (By the way, you look great.)
PSA: tumblr user littlefuckinmonster is stealing human bones from cemeteries in Louisiana. Please donāt let them get away with this and spread the word/signal boost!
this post is officially a decade old now
For anyone who wasnt around when this happened, this was real. Littlefuckinmonster was actually stealing bones from cemeteries. She is the bone stealing witch. She was specifically stealing bones from poor people. She was arrested for it.
More Information: Tumblrās favorite grave-robbing witch was busted with a bowl full of bones (The Daily Dot - March 31, 2016)
I was just viscerally reminded of the time a friend with a sheep farm found out his mother dug up several sheep he had buried. No there is no more information, he never got an explanation either. This was the last straw in a long series of straws, and he went no contact with her. I am haunted by this and now you are too.