Enhance Modernity, Reclaim Tradition

and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”

From the POV of the “person who made the other one cry” and from the POV of anyone else watching, we are *also* trained to immediately presume the person not crying has just gone too far. Suddenly whatever argument we have collapses, whatever wrong needs righting must be put aside or flat-out forgiven because “you made somebody cry you’re the ultimate asshole congrats” is also a thing. And, at least for me, *that’s* why they can feel manipulative when they’re not, because of this social pressure to bend to tears.

Unfortunately in my experience tears like this have always meant “my grievances must be swallowed because they’re sensitive and immune to consequences and if I keep pushing or attempt to circle back later, I’m being unreasonable and cruel” keeps happening.

Involuntary stress response is involuntary stress response, just with this current system everybody loses. Being pressured to shoulder the blame and guilt for triggering someone’s stress response is a very slippery slope to not standing up for yourself lest you risk upsetting someone and looking like a bully.

I would also like to add that crying is one of the few stress responses that people respond to with sympathy, at least for women and people perceived as women. Hence why some women do fake crying, and why people may suspect them of doing so. Other stress responses are virtually always penalised.

I don't cry from stress, or at least I haven't since I was very small child. I do cry from grief, and I sometimes have tears when listening to or watching something emotional, so it's not that I can't cry or that I restrain myself; I just don't have the tendency to cry from stress.

My natural response to stress is to raise my voice. I was trained, from a very early age, never to do that for any reason. Because that's "shouting" and it's "scary" and "aggressive" and "makes everything worse", and it might make someone else cry.

If I "make" someone cry (not even by being loud; I've seen a grown woman cry because I misunderstood an instruction and she took that personally) then I am expected to apologise. If someone makes me stressed enough to raise my voice... then I am also expected to apologise for "losing my temper".

Because is recognised as a sign of stress whereas a raised voice is interpreted as a sign of aggression, and people then subject the person to even more stress as punishment.

Another thing that a someone who cries easily may not realise is that their crying causes stress in other people. Yet if someone was crying and another person responded by shouting, swearing, storming out, shutting down, or even bursting into tears themselves - or really doing anything other than apologising/offering comfort - then that would be taken badly. The burden is on others to maintain their emotional control while the person crying has lost theirs.

British heavy bomber Handley Page Halifax B.III in flight

It involves lying, often manipulation/gaslighting, and putting your partner at risk of STIs & STDs. It can also be part as a broader pattern of abuse in a relationship (most commonly of a man against a woman). It's always psychologically traumatic for the person being cheated on.

Of course it doesn't justify any other abuse.

Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat or Yaminon (Lasiorhinus krefftii), family Vombatidae, order Diprotodontia, QLD, Australia

CRITICALLY ENDNGERED.

South American Tapir Tapirus terrestris

Also known as anta (Brazilian Portuguese), and la sachavaca (literally "bushcow", in mixed Quechua and Spanish), it can be found near water in the Amazon rainforest and River Basin in South America, east of the Andes. It is an excellent swimmer and diver, but also moves quickly on land, even over rugged, mountainous terrain. It has a life span of approximately 25 to 30 years.

While the crab-eating fox’s (Cerdocyon thous) name implies that crabs make up most of its diet, this canid is omnivorous and has a wide-ranging menu that changes with the seasons. It lives in parts of eastern and northern South America, where it’s found in forests, savannas, shrubland, and wetlands. During the dry season, it may snack more on insects; during the wet season, it favors crustaceans.

Addax Addax nasomaculatus

The Four Seasons of Brambly Hedge by Jill Barklem

The Brambly Hedge books are a modern publishing phenomenon. The first four little books, published in 1980, have now been reprinted more than twenty times, and sales are in the millions.

Jill Barklem chose the original small format herself: it seemed to suit her miniature community of self-sufficient mice. But her ability to visualize the detail of Brambly Hedge deserves a closer look, and for this reason the original pictures have now been re-organized to a larger size. At last Brambly Hedge can be enjoyed in all its detail, displaying Jill Barklem's artistic talent to the full.

Dried Persimmons (Hoshigaki)

For centuries, the Japanese have been making dried persimmons, called hoshigaki, using a traditional method. These chewy, mildly sweet fruits are commonly enjoyed as a tea sweet, particularly with green tea.

At their most basic, hoshigaki are persimmons that are peeled and hung until they shrivel and a natural sugar coating forms on their surface. But there's more to it than that.

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Hoshigaki (from the Japanese terms hoshi, meaning dried, and kaki, persimmon) are dried persimmons, made with a centuries-old technique that’s both incredibly simple and ridiculously labor-intensive. Each persimmon must be peeled, tied, hung, and gently massaged every day for four to six weeks, until they reach the perfect level of dried-yet-pliant texture and darkly sweet, warm spice-y flavor. Over time, the fruit’s natural sugars crystallize into a powdery white skin across its surface, the prized “sugar bloom” that sets hoshigaki apart from more mundane dried fruit...