worm alert!

.......................threadrick.......................❕

My beautiful daughter Wheaver-Leighnne Webinaria Arthropodianka Johnson

wtf nobody told me there was a shrimp species named sexy shrimp

that wasn;t the file i clicked

Yeah yeah yeah it's generic and amateurish and frankly trite, but is it earnest? Is it sincere? Is there a heart underneath it all

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

i want to go back to the exact millisecond we all collectively realized jared’s tweet about not knowing about the winchesters was dead fucking serious

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"